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Does having a gentle/natural birth give AP a headstart? - Page 2

post #21 of 28
the idea that bonding or attachment starts after birth is alien to me - I feel well attached to my babies long before I can even feel them moving in my belly, the birth just brings them to the outside world where I can love them in my arms instead
post #22 of 28
hear hear , emmaline! i felt i "missed" ds even before he was concieved....but nonethless i had an unexpected c-section, percieve the birth as a traumatic experience...and had the horrible suprise of not being able to bond with him the way i thought i would when he was born. we have a very good bond now, at 14 mos. but at first i felt as if he were just handed to me, that he wasnt mine, etc, it was surreal. i was so depressed. but i think things that affected me at the time wouldnt affeect me the same way again, and i think someone else would react to my circumstance differently too. so it goes back to the individual again. ...my $.02
post #23 of 28
I have a good friend who adopted both her kids. One she adopted from Thailand, when the child was 9 months old. You could not have a more bonded family and she never even "carried" them or gave birth to them.
post #24 of 28
Birth, to me, is just another rest stop on the journey of life. Why does it matter how much medication one had? Why does c-section vs no c-section matter?
It is really how each woman perceives her experience.

Yes, this is a singular event that can never be captured again, but what in llife isn't? Each hug, each kiss, each "I love you" is unique.

I guess I don't see this as an issue. It took me time to truely love my child. Why? Because I didn't know who she was. I felt the bonds of mom and daughter, but how could I love a person I didn't even know? A few weeks later, we were so in love with each other. It just took time to meet her.
post #25 of 28
Foo...the last part of your post captured what i experienced with my first child perfectly. i am so glad i wasnt the only one that felt that way.

Thank you!
post #26 of 28
Everyone's experience is so unique. In my case, I had a 36 hr labor (24 at home) that ended in a c/s-- and I was delighted with the whole thing! I was in very good spirits afterwards and Katie has barely left our arms for a moment.
post #27 of 28
foobar! what you said was so simply put but so wonderfuly true and awesome. thank you for saying it. youll think im overdoing it but i am going to print it. its so easy to be hard on myself for not bonding right away because i expected to.... your post is just lovely. thanks!
post #28 of 28
i am FREAKED OUT by the tremendous love and bond i feel with both my dds, ages 2 yrs and 4 yrs. it's amazing and goes so deep it makes eternity look shallow.

giving birth naturally to dd2 was a healing experience for me from the horrible medicalized birth experience with dd1.

while the bond has in no way been affected by the medical birth of dd1, i do feel a deep regret for not giving her a natural birth.
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