Hello,
This is the first time I'm posting here but I have been reading for years. Please give me your thoughts about this. Do you have a sensitive child like this?
I have a 4.5 yo dd and a 23 m ds. My dd goes to a small montessori preschool 3 times a week. She has always been a very very sensitive, spirited child and that made us attachment parent her. She bf until 2 and still co-sleeps with us as does her brother.
She is a very sweet, caring, complicated person but for some reason has an immense need to cry, ever since she was a baby she has cried a lot, sometimes for hours. This morning she said again "I can't stop crying" and proceeded to cry for about 30 minutes. Nothing we do quite comforts her although she likes to be held when she cries and snuggles against us. She just needs to cry. We've read books by Aletha Solter and have come to terms with the crying, it's her way of releasing.
However, overall, she is just not a very happy person around other people. She does laugh occasionally and has fun sometimes but smiles and laughter are not her way outside the family, she's happy with us though. So I haven't been that concerned. We've always thought of her as sensitive and spirited but have thought that it is within a normal range. My brother in law, however, suggested that she has Asperger's, without actually being in contact with her very much, so I pretty much disregarded that. His son has Asperger's.
She often tries to control people, especially friends smaller than her but also adults. She likes to boss people around but is very shy so she does this only with people she knows. She tells her friends what to do and is mean to them if they don't follow. She is kind of awkward socially and if she talks with people she often kind of yells and repeats herself over and over until they answer. But the way she talks to them is out of turn and overlapping with them and - I know this is normal for the age - but it is just somehow very awkward, there is something about it that worries me beyond shyness. My dh and I are also very shy and socially sometimes awkward. We are trying our best to model appropriate social behavior for her and she has other good role models in her life, too.
In groups she has not participated until very recently but has always just observed. This goes for any group: library storytime, preschool, any classes we've taken. At preschool, they have a teacher come in and teach yoga and she has always just observed. Just recently the teacher changed and dd really clicked with her and has started participating. So she can. This new teacher is foreign like me and speaks with an accent, like me.
This morning I dropped her off at preschool and she was crying again and clinging to me. This still happens. This time the teacher, a wonderful caring lady who runs her preschool at the back of her house and has a very small group of kids there, took me aside and recommended that we either take her to counseling or to an acupuncturist/homeopathist. She said dd is somehow out of balance and is not a happy person. None of the other kids she's had there behave in this way consistently after some initial trouble, so she wants us to find dd a way to enjoy herself, to balance her life somehow. The teacher said that dd could be depressed. The teacher said dd will have trouble at kindergarten if things go like this.
I just don't know what to think. Does anyone else have a child like this? Where do I start? Should I consider homeschooling her, should I take her in for evaluation? Or does this sound normal?
I have also been depressed during the last 4 years and have received some counceling. Could my depression have caused hers? I don't consider myself more than slightly depressed and I'm functional in everyday life. But I might not be a really happy person myself, so a bad role model for her. I'm an extreme introvert and raising kids is very hard because I'm lacking the personal space and time that I need. Thank you for reading this.
This is the first time I'm posting here but I have been reading for years. Please give me your thoughts about this. Do you have a sensitive child like this?
I have a 4.5 yo dd and a 23 m ds. My dd goes to a small montessori preschool 3 times a week. She has always been a very very sensitive, spirited child and that made us attachment parent her. She bf until 2 and still co-sleeps with us as does her brother.
She is a very sweet, caring, complicated person but for some reason has an immense need to cry, ever since she was a baby she has cried a lot, sometimes for hours. This morning she said again "I can't stop crying" and proceeded to cry for about 30 minutes. Nothing we do quite comforts her although she likes to be held when she cries and snuggles against us. She just needs to cry. We've read books by Aletha Solter and have come to terms with the crying, it's her way of releasing.
However, overall, she is just not a very happy person around other people. She does laugh occasionally and has fun sometimes but smiles and laughter are not her way outside the family, she's happy with us though. So I haven't been that concerned. We've always thought of her as sensitive and spirited but have thought that it is within a normal range. My brother in law, however, suggested that she has Asperger's, without actually being in contact with her very much, so I pretty much disregarded that. His son has Asperger's.
She often tries to control people, especially friends smaller than her but also adults. She likes to boss people around but is very shy so she does this only with people she knows. She tells her friends what to do and is mean to them if they don't follow. She is kind of awkward socially and if she talks with people she often kind of yells and repeats herself over and over until they answer. But the way she talks to them is out of turn and overlapping with them and - I know this is normal for the age - but it is just somehow very awkward, there is something about it that worries me beyond shyness. My dh and I are also very shy and socially sometimes awkward. We are trying our best to model appropriate social behavior for her and she has other good role models in her life, too.
In groups she has not participated until very recently but has always just observed. This goes for any group: library storytime, preschool, any classes we've taken. At preschool, they have a teacher come in and teach yoga and she has always just observed. Just recently the teacher changed and dd really clicked with her and has started participating. So she can. This new teacher is foreign like me and speaks with an accent, like me.
This morning I dropped her off at preschool and she was crying again and clinging to me. This still happens. This time the teacher, a wonderful caring lady who runs her preschool at the back of her house and has a very small group of kids there, took me aside and recommended that we either take her to counseling or to an acupuncturist/homeopathist. She said dd is somehow out of balance and is not a happy person. None of the other kids she's had there behave in this way consistently after some initial trouble, so she wants us to find dd a way to enjoy herself, to balance her life somehow. The teacher said that dd could be depressed. The teacher said dd will have trouble at kindergarten if things go like this.
I just don't know what to think. Does anyone else have a child like this? Where do I start? Should I consider homeschooling her, should I take her in for evaluation? Or does this sound normal?
I have also been depressed during the last 4 years and have received some counceling. Could my depression have caused hers? I don't consider myself more than slightly depressed and I'm functional in everyday life. But I might not be a really happy person myself, so a bad role model for her. I'm an extreme introvert and raising kids is very hard because I'm lacking the personal space and time that I need. Thank you for reading this.
