Terrible to witness

[chefpaige1]

I have a dance class that travels to day cares to offer classes to the children. This morning, while teaching my class, one child was not very cooperative. Apparently, his mother works in the kitchen which was attached to the classroom we were in. His mother comes in and yells at him, asking if he wants her to bring in the wooden spoon. I was horrified to hear that, but the child was still uncooperative, so she angerly walks in, grabbing him and dragging him into the kitchen where I could hear her give him 3 or 4 hits. He came back in a bit better manner, not seeming affected or upset by what happened. I felt SICK! I couldn't put on a smile for the benefit of keeping the class going. I wanted to cry for the poor kid, being treated that way and humiliated in front of his classmates.

I gave him a hug on his way out of class and told him we'd have a better week next time.

His mother kept a watchful eye on him as he was walking back to class, and I commented to her that he was just having a hard day. She started explaining that he's not used to a school setting, they just moved here from out of state, and she "can't seem to beat him enough" each day to make him behave. I looked shocked, and she explained that the center had requested that she treat him like that, and they don't understand that not everyone believes in spanking, and they told her she needs to instill the "FEAR OF GOD" in him. Now I felt so terrible for the mother, obviously needing this job so badly but having to compromise her mothering in such a horrible way. I didn't know what to say except for "I'm sooo sorry".

[LynnS6]

I would call CPS, and if that that school licensed by the state, then I would call the state licensing agency. That sounds illegal to me.

I would also bring his mom a copy of something like Positive Discipline for Christains or another book the next week. No reason you can't be a little subversive here.

[onlyboys]

Wow. Really? CPS? I think that's waaay over the top, honestly.

It does sound really scary for the other kids, though, not to mention really disheartening and sad for you! Could you speak to her and make sure she knows that the hitting during class time is really disruptive, just as disruptive to the class as his behaviour was?

[mamaduck]

Yes, I agree about making a report. Even if you live in a state where its legal to spank in schools, there may be details in the laws about using an object. Whatever the case, things will not change in that school until they learn a little "fear of god" themselves. Call CPS.

[chefpaige1]

I watched the other kids to note their reaction, but nobody had any reaction at all. I wondered how many kids experience the same thing from their own parents.

[rmzbm]

I would be MAD AS HELL that my child had to witness that...but calling CPS, no.

[mamaduck]

If it were just a case of a spanking mother, then I would agree that a call to CPS would be extreme. But it is happening in a daycare center, and that is a whole different ball game. Licensing and/or CPS should be notified. You do not have to "report" the mother -- but you do need to report the center. You are reporting that you witnessed a chld being hit in a daycare center.

The other parents of the children at the center are operating under the assumption that licensing requirements are being met. If *my* child was in that center, *I* would want you to call licensing or cps.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

If it were just a case of a spanking mother, then I would agree that a call to CPS would be extreme. But it is happening in a daycare center, and that is a whole different ball game. Licensing and/or CPS should be notified. You do not have to "report" the mother -- but you do need to report the center. You are reporting that you witnessed a chld being hit in a daycare center.

The other parents of the children at the center are operating under the assumption that licensing requirements are being met. If *my* child was in that center, *I* would want you to call licensing or cps.

That's what I was GOING to say...but I think it's nearly impossible the mother wouldn't be dragged in. They'd want to know what was witnessed, etc. I am not comfortable doing that to another parent short of fearing for the child's very life.

[mamaduck]

Well, in this case the mother is also an employee of the center. So it may be appropriate that she be dragged in. I guess maybe calling licensing would be less risky, but it still ought to be done.

[moonfirefaery]

I don't think calling CPS is over the top at all for a woman who states she 'just can't beat' her son 'enough.' For that facility to be recommending that she abuses her child raises questions as well, and they should probably be investigated. I would check state laws first and maybe wait a while to see if you can judge what kind of an effect it is having on him. If anything perhaps you could speak to the mother and encourage her to read some GD books--and to relocate to a center that doesn't have this approach to discipline. If I were to see any bruises or marks that caused me suspicion I wouldn't hesitate to call. It really sounds like this woman just needs help, so I don't think CPS ought to be the first choice of action to take, though.

[tiffany21074]

how about going straight to the director of the center and voicing your concerns? let them know how you feel, and the reactions of your child and other children. that may be enough to entice them to change their recommendations.