Please help me stop
I don't do it often-I am able to stay calm most of the time, but when I do its all out yelling. And I hate it when I do this-this probably happens once a month. My dd just turned 2-the two things that push me over the edge which she does every day, but I only react badly every once in a while are:
1. hitting and kicking me (then laughing) while changing her diaper-I usually respond to this by saying very calmly-please be gentle with mommy-we should always be gentle with everyone, please show mommy how you can be gentle, sometimes this is met by her being gentle and stroking my arm and face-other times its her screaming "no" and continuing to hit and kick me and laugh. This is when I start screaming.
2. dumping her yogurt and water all over the rug and table. She looks straight at me and does this. It drives me nuts. I don't let her clean it up-because she is doing it on purpose. I have absolutely no problem when she accidentally spills or breaks something-I am extremely calm and she usually asks to help clean it up-which I gladly let her do.
So how do I stay calm? I talked to SIL about this yesterday-she thinks I should do TOs-which I told her we don't do-I wish I had more of a backbone and explained why. She also thinks I am internalizing some past angst because I have ALWAYS said that I would NEVER lay a hand on my child. I told her that -no -it is just not right to hit a child. She then said that yelling is just as much abuse as hitting. That wasn't constructive for me and just made me feel like *(&^.
So sorry about the long post-I guess I have two questions - how to stop my yelling-and how to handle my SIL-who I actually get along great with-we just have different styles of parenting?
Thanks in advance! (I have been reading the GD forum for a while and am in awe of the creative and gentle moms here
I don't do it often-I am able to stay calm most of the time, but when I do its all out yelling. And I hate it when I do this-this probably happens once a month. My dd just turned 2-the two things that push me over the edge which she does every day, but I only react badly every once in a while are:1. hitting and kicking me (then laughing) while changing her diaper-I usually respond to this by saying very calmly-please be gentle with mommy-we should always be gentle with everyone, please show mommy how you can be gentle, sometimes this is met by her being gentle and stroking my arm and face-other times its her screaming "no" and continuing to hit and kick me and laugh. This is when I start screaming.
2. dumping her yogurt and water all over the rug and table. She looks straight at me and does this. It drives me nuts. I don't let her clean it up-because she is doing it on purpose. I have absolutely no problem when she accidentally spills or breaks something-I am extremely calm and she usually asks to help clean it up-which I gladly let her do.
So how do I stay calm? I talked to SIL about this yesterday-she thinks I should do TOs-which I told her we don't do-I wish I had more of a backbone and explained why. She also thinks I am internalizing some past angst because I have ALWAYS said that I would NEVER lay a hand on my child. I told her that -no -it is just not right to hit a child. She then said that yelling is just as much abuse as hitting. That wasn't constructive for me and just made me feel like *(&^.
So sorry about the long post-I guess I have two questions - how to stop my yelling-and how to handle my SIL-who I actually get along great with-we just have different styles of parenting?
Thanks in advance! (I have been reading the GD forum for a while and am in awe of the creative and gentle moms here
