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Is this anyone's business? - Page 2

post #21 of 62
11/15/06 at 9:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 13Sandals View Post
as far as the 'you'll never get him out of your bed' comment - I have a great (if I may say so myself) comeback for that..."well, if he's still sneaking in our bed after he's married, we'll have to have that looked at"

i agree, that is perfect!
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post #22 of 62
11/15/06 at 9:41pm
I used to just say "He's a great sleeper!" and leave it at that...
It wasn't a lie...he did sleep great....he just used to wake up to nurse too
It's nobody's business, I agree.
For those who say that you'll never get him out of bed, I would say, "I guess he'll have to take me with him to college!"
And for those who dare to even comment on the quality of the romantic relationship with your partner as a result of the child in the bed...well, I used to relish in embarrassing them a bit by saying, "You know, there are lots of places to have sex other than a bed....the kitchen, the bathroom, the closet, the livingroom...."
post #23 of 62
11/16/06 at 12:28am
I can assure you that my 16, 15 & 10 year olds do NOT sleep in my bed with me. They will NOT be in your bed forever!

Although, when they get scared or creeped out they are always welcome to a pallet on our floor.

ETA - my 16yod slept in our room for a week after my cousin committed suicide because she was so freaked out. I was so glad that she was able to be in our room, she really needed the comfort. That foundation was laid when she was a babe in the family bed!
post #24 of 62
11/16/06 at 12:36am
My GMIL is big on that...which is funny because she says ALL her kids were in bed with her. It's a big joke in the family (I guess?) that just as soon as she kicked a kid out of bed she got pregnant...so I'm thinking...wait...you and FIL didn't have sex for FOUR YEARS? Wow...(there is approx 4-5 years between each of their 4 children)

I just say "Yup, he sleeps fine." which he is. And if they press on I say "Do YOU sleep through the night?" and they usually say "Ya know? I don't!" *lightbulb moment*

I also do the *wink wink* who said sex has to be limited to the bedroom? PS- If you're squeemish about sex surfaces might want to stay away from....well just about every surface in my home...:
post #25 of 62
11/16/06 at 12:36am
Agree with you all!

I usually answer with something like "yep, dds sleeping just as she should - waking up every few hours to nurse!" delivered with a big, fat, juicy smile!

I also have to concur - my 13 no longer wished to sleep in our bed - even after I asked him (ok, pleaded) to when dh was out of town for a week and I was a little creeped out....
post #26 of 62
11/16/06 at 1:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpie's_mama View Post
the world associates the bedroom with sex, and to have a child in there with you and your husband is just plain weird and inappropriate.
OMG, I never thought of it from that angle--what a lightbulb moment for me! Thanks for posting that.
post #27 of 62
11/16/06 at 1:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama View Post
My GMIL is big on that...which is funny because she says ALL her kids were in bed with her. It's a big joke in the family (I guess?) that just as soon as she kicked a kid out of bed she got pregnant...so I'm thinking...wait...you and FIL didn't have sex for FOUR YEARS? Wow...(there is approx 4-5 years between each of their 4 children)
If she was a nursing momma it might have been the night nursing that kept her from getting pregnant, and not the lack of sex. We never kicked our oldest out of our bed (and have no desire to kick her out) but our daughters are almost five years apart because breastfeeding has such a powerful effect on my fertility.
post #28 of 62
11/16/06 at 1:40pm
What i looooooove to do when someone comments on the sex life and they are in MY house is to look longingly at the big cushy chair they are sitting on and then say "we think it is much more fun to have sex in other places" then wink. It is a riot!
post #29 of 62
11/16/06 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by a-sorta-fairytale View Post
What i looooooove to do when someone comments on the sex life and they are in MY house is to look longingly at the big cushy chair they are sitting on and then say "we think it is much more fun to have sex in other places" then wink. It is a riot!
I love it!
post #30 of 62
11/17/06 at 11:59pm
I relate to your frustration, too.

I'm personally in favor of always telling the truth about co-sleeping, "extended" nursing, and so forth, even though it got me scolded by the pediatrician. The more people hear about it (whatever it is), the more common they will realize it is--and if it's something that works for so many people, maybe it isn't so crazy, right?

To a relative who was hinting around about DS in our bed affecting our marriage/sex life, I said, in a moment of unplanned candor, "Well, we have a lot of other furniture!" (True!)

I saw a onesie somewhere that said "NOT sleeping through the night" on it. I wish I had it for DS. There was also one that said "I'll walk when I'm good and ready" or something similar, whihc would also have been useful--though that's not quite the same hotly contested issue...

Hang in there! We all know why you're doing what you're doing.
post #31 of 62
11/18/06 at 12:04am
Exactly-- I'd just feel sorry for those folks who so firmly associate the bedroom with sex... it is highly likely (50/50 chance) that this baby was conceived in the bathroom/on the floor (the other option is the OTHER bathroom-- with the bathtub/and the bed, which was serving as a massage table, not so much a bed, lol). I love these responses-- I'm stealing them!!!
post #32 of 62
11/18/06 at 1:52am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I love it!
Thanks The horrified/surprised/embarressed looks are well worth it.
post #33 of 62
11/18/06 at 2:26pm
it is none of their business. feel free to lie.
post #34 of 62
11/18/06 at 2:58pm
I got a lot of the "You'll never get him out of your bed" and "Trust me, you will REGRET it!" comments, but DS moved into his own bed willingly at 11 months (he wanted more space and was crazy wiggly, nobody was sleeping).

I also got a few comments on how long I nursed, but they were mostly when he was younger. When DS was 8 months old, STBX's aunt said "STILL???" when I sat down to nurse DS. I wonder if she knows STBX was nursed till he was almost 5.

I mentioned in class once that I needed to go home on lunch to nurse my son. My classmate asked how old he was. I said "He's one." The guy fairly GOGGLED at me and said, "Okay, STOP!" I told him what's what about nursing and brought him info the next day about the benefits of EBF. Unfortunately, it didn't change his mind. I ran into him when I took DS to the ER a few months later and told him how pleased the doctors were that he was still nursing. He shrugged and said "I still think the absolute limit should be six months." He couldn't explain why, though. I think he said his little girl was only nursed for a couple of weeks. Poor kiddo.
post #35 of 62
11/18/06 at 6:52pm
It's not anyone's business, of course, which begs the question of why you're answering them. As long as you talk about your parenting decisions with people, they'll feel free to comment on them. I've only had a conversation about where my kids sleep once, before Bobbie was ever born, and I learned my lesson then. Co-sleeping is now discussed only with people whom I know do it themselves & are OK with it.
post #36 of 62
11/19/06 at 12:28am
I agree that you don't have to answer them, at least not truthfully. It is a thoughtless question to ask and pointless really. By the way my name is Stacy and my son will be named Adam too!
post #37 of 62
11/19/06 at 2:21am
For the "You'll never get them out of your bed." comment I usually say something like, "Really? Well, I slept with my parents until I was 6 when my brother got old enough to share a bed with me. Then *he* slept with me for a couple years. We both turned out OK, don't have sleep problems, and TRUST ME neither of us has any urge to sleep with our parents or each other."

Kinda wordy, but it works and I've never had anyone argue with me about it because....well...I'm speaking from first hand experience you know?

I've also been known to reply "Do YOU like to sleep alone? No? Then why should my children? It works for us and it's really none of your business anyway." Of course, it helps if you know the person you're talking to well enough to know that they actually *don't* sleep alone each night before you break that reply out.

As for the sex thing for a baby I'd reply something like, "They're in the crib that's attached to the bed & they're asleep. Honestly, they don't know what you're doing. Get over it." For our toddler I say, "She starts the night in her room & comes in with us when we go to sleep. We have plenty of personal time. Besides, it's not like the bedroom is the only place you can do it!"

Blessings,
Holly
post #38 of 62
11/19/06 at 3:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpie's_mama View Post
i HATE hearing the whole "you will never get her out of your bed!" crap. guess what, we don't WANT to get her out of our bed! *gasp*
post #39 of 62
11/20/06 at 3:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacey2061 View Post
I'm so sick of people asking if Adam sleeps through the night yet...and then GASPING when I admitt he doesn't! And the crap I get because he sleeps with us..."You'll never get him out of your bed!"

"Oh, well, that's none of your business really, and stop asking if you don't like the answer you get!" Is what I want to say!

Can you imagine people asking and commenting on you and your partner's sleep situation?! "What do you wear to bed?" "How often do you have sex?" blah blah blah...
Wow! those are some personal questions! No - it's nobody's business!
post #40 of 62
11/20/06 at 3:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacyann21 View Post
I agree that you don't have to answer them, at least not truthfully. It is a thoughtless question to ask and pointless really. By the way my name is Stacy and my son will be named Adam too!
Gotta love the name Adam

My generic come-back is "Well I have yet to hear of someone who wouldn't go to college because they didn't want to leave their parent's bed..." and so far it's worked well.