I'm not sure where to post this but this seemed the best spot for now. My situation is a bit complicated perhaps, so I hope I don't confuse you. In late 2004 my ex (who I was never married to) was arrested in his state by my state for cs arrearage. It wasn't much, but enough for them to be able to cross state lines. He agree to sign off his rights so my DH could do a step parent adoption - which we haven't been able to do yet due to lack of funds - we have to feed 8 kids so it kind of took back burner for now. Anyway, my ex has only met my DD once in her life. She's nearly 14 and he met her when she was six. All I had asked previously of him was that if he was not planning on being involved as much as he could (he was out of state) that he just leave her be until he could be involved as I didn't want her confused and hurt. He decided when she was six that he wanted to be involved and so he came here on his way home from visiting his mother, I live in a state located between he and his mother, so he had to pass right by to get to her place basically. Well....he met DD...made promises of keeping in touch, calling, writing, etc.....and then never followed through. I called him in 2001 to ask him to terminate his rights as he wasn't doing anything and he angrily said no....when he was arrested for non-payment he finally agreed only to save his butt from going to jail again. My mother, who I have never had a good relationship with and who was there the evening (4 hours) that ex was there meeting his daughter for the first time, became adamant that the ex NOT sign off his rights. She decided she liked him (funny, she likes the one man I will never be with again, and hates my husband, figures) and that he is DD's father, blah blah blah, then had the gall to offer to pay me the remaining amount of his CS if he didn't have to agree to sign off his rights. Basically, she bribed me. Because of that and numerous other things she said to me in the same conversation I haven't spoken with her but 3 times, and those were from accidentally answering the phone when she called, and have seen her zero times since Feb. 2005. I recently found out that she and my brother are all cozy with the ex and his mother, that my brother visited ex in Seattle (where he apparently moved with his wife and new daughter), and I'm not very happy about this. I had asked my mother for HIS mother's phone number late 2004/early 2005 and she refused saying she wasn't going to be involved, yet she is all buddy buddy now. I feel this is very inappropriate, and a betrayal to me. She has never met the ex's mother, and only met him once for 4 hours. She used to complain to me that my father's (her second husband who adopted me, mind you) ex wife was involved with his family and she felt it was inappropriate of the ex and disrepectful of his family to allow it....but isn't what she's doing basically the same dang thing?? How would it make any of you feel if a family member did the same thing to you? I don't want to have anything to do with my mom now, even after all the other disrespectful things she's done, this just tops it off for me.
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11/15/06 at 2:28pm