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Jaya's story: birth and death of Trace Oak - Page 3

post #41 of 117
You're beautiful and so brave.

Rest in love and peace, Trace Oak.
post #42 of 117
You and your family are in my thoughts. :
post #43 of 117
I'm so sorry. I just have no words.
post #44 of 117
i am so deeply sorry for your loss. your courage and strength is so evident in your writing. holding you in the light....

trace
post #45 of 117
Thank you for sharing your story, Jaya. I am so sorry for your loss. You are obviously such a fighter. Your dear boy would be proud of his mama. Love to you and your family
post #46 of 117
Love to you and your family. wishing you peace.
post #47 of 117
post #48 of 117
Jaya,

Your story is powerful, beautiful, tragic... there is so much in it, so much you haven't written that comes through between your words.

Reading this:
"I immediately ask about the baby and no one will tell me anything. I say “You aren’t supposed to tell me, are you?” And it is then after I ask again, that someone tells me what I already know. It isn’t good, they say. I don’t know how… if they told me specifically or if I knew…"
Is what made me cry. When I woke in recovery after my c-section almost the same exchange took place. I just knew. There's no way you can't. Even with my newborn son so far from me I was still connected to him, and I knew he was gone before anyone came to tell me.

When I got in the car and drove home out of the hospital the radio was playing, "Don't fear the reaper". It actually made me smile; it was like this bizarre dose of irony. I didn't fear his death, I just knew

I am sorry: for all the words that won't be enough and for the pain that will be there forever. I'm sorry that you know this pain, too.
post #49 of 117
OMG I'm not even in your birth club but I had to respond. I'm for you and your family. I feel your loss very deep in my heart.
I also wanted to say that your grace and eloquence is amazing.
I am moved beyond words.
post #50 of 117
I am so, so sorry, Jaya. s Your story is eerily similar to mine and how my DD died so I'm sitting here just bawling and reliving everything. You are right. Nobody should have to take their baby home in a casket or live everyday remembering what it felt like to touch a cold, little head full of hair. I'm so sorry. Much peace and love to you, mama. s

Trace Oak
post #51 of 117
I'm not in your birth club either, but I've re-read your story several times now, and I can't stop thinking about you, your beautiful son, and your whole family. I am sending you my deepest love and a wish for peace. I am so, so very sorry for your tragic loss.
post #52 of 117
I cried for your pain, for your family, for your story. I am so very sorry for the loss of dreams and hopes and the beautiful little boy you have. Many wishes for peace in your heart and body - I am so very very sorry.
post #53 of 117
Mama I'm so very sorry.

Love to you and to your beautiful Trace Oak.
post #54 of 117
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I'm so sorry about Trace.
post #55 of 117
i am not in your DDC either but couldn't pass by and not read or comment. i am wishing you peace and healing for you and your family .
post #56 of 117
reading your story made me cry, and I had chills reading the part where your husband shouted Life! to you...

you will be in my prayers.
post #57 of 117
I'm crying, too. I'm so sorry that he didn't make it and that you almost lost your life. Love and prayers to you and your family.
post #58 of 117
so so sorry mama. holding you all in the light.
post #59 of 117



I know how it feels to hold a child when they are cold. No one should ever have to hold a child like that. No child should be like that. There is no icon expression on this site that could even remotely express my understanding, love, thoughts, care, and concern such as I feel for you and your family.


post #60 of 117
I am so sorry.
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