I'm at a real cross-roads with making a decision

[mama2cntrykids]

on whether or not to HS my dc. My oldest is in Kindy, then I have a 3 y/o and a 5.5 month old.

I know in my heart that I want to and I have numerous reasons why it would be so much better for us than ps.

BUT, the problem is with my almost 6 y/o. He gets frustrated very easily and starts crying and yelling. Then I get upset with him because he's not listening (and he certainly can't learn when frustrated). So then we "butt-heads" and he'll stay upset for quite awhile and won't even talk to me. How can I "teach" him (or even present him) things when we have this problem? I'm also impatient and get frustrated easily (I'm working on this) so it creates even more of a conflict, yk?

I so, so badly want to hs (he's in ps right now), but I'm afraid it just won't work between us.

Can anyone offer advice? Is or has anyone had this problem? How did/do you deal with it.

Thanks so much mamas!

[blessed with boys]

My ds is very sensitive and gets angry and/or frustrated easily....you know honestly our relationship and communication between each other has really blossomed since we've been homeschooling. He's always been a mama's boy dont get me wrong but there are times......when we both are frustrated with each other.
His reading is fantastic, his writing and fine motor skills are improving drastically, he is able to go at his own pace with learning (which is an accelertated pace.) he's taking more of an interest in helping with chores and little things like getting his own drinks and snacks. He knows what books were reading in Sonlight and Tuesday we skipped them because he was tired and took a nap instead (he never usually naps.) then we had a play date so his reading never got done....Yesterday when we got out our books he said "ok mom remember we have to read 2 chapters today becuse we didnt get to read yesterday." Amazing!
He loves learning and now he doesnt have the stresses of public school to deal with too.
I cant tell you how much he has improved socially, mentally and physically. It's like I have a new son...
He has been diagnosed ADD, Sensory Integration dysfunction, with weakness in his arms and hands, Anxiety disorder yadda yadda...You know what? He's just a kid being a kid imo...yes he has trouble writing but he's just barely turned 6. It's improving and so I'm not worried about it.
Give hs'ing a try, if you dont you'll always wonder....and if you do I know you'll be pleasantly surprised.
With ps in my own experience the school here was trying to take away my rights to parent my own son, they insisted on meds for his add...they wouldnt get my son tested by an occupational therapist for his SID. They also made me sign a paper I wouldnt ask my son if he had any homework that day or take it out of his backpack. "He needs to be responsible for that." They also called me into the office and questioned why I sent my son to school with a sack lunch that day when he forgot his lunch box the day before...according to them "he needed to have a hot lunch to be punshished for forgetting his lunchbox at school."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR SCHOOLS!

Ok I got off topic lol.
At least give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Jackie

[dharmamama]

My four year old dd refuses to be taught. She is very strong-willed and she is always right (at least she is in her own mind). She's a lot like her mother.

My solution is not to teach her. She is extremely intelligent and she comes up with the wildest questions and ideas. I answer her questions and ask questions about her ideas to try to flesh them out. But my point in doing so is not to "teach" her. It's just to help her find the information she wants, not give her the information I think she needs.

Honestly, with a 6 year old boy, I think homeschooling would look an awful lot like playing a lot, reading together a lot, and following up on things that interest your son. He's so young right now. You really don't have to worry about stuffing him full of knowledge.

Namaste!

[Lillian J]

I don't think it's that uncommon for people to not like being "taught." If you just provide ways for a child to discover things and learn things on his own, I think he'll learn at least as much, and will enjoy the pride and pleasure and confidence it brings. If you've done battle with your child while trying to help or coax with homework, I can assure you that it's very different from homescooling! A lot of us hesitated over that - but it honestly isn't the same. Lillian

[moominmamma]

As time goes on I realize that the primary benefits of homeschooling are not to do with education, but to do with relationships. If your ds continues in school, you may very well get away without figuring out how to live, learn and work together. If you homeschool, you'll have to figure it out, and you will -- because life will provide the opportunities to work on it. I don't think that's such a bad thing.

I have the world's most strong-willed, introverted, intense child. Really. I claim the award. Push her anywhere, and whether she wants to go there or not she will build a concrete wall of resistence that will last a decade or more. Once a well-intentioned by misguided parent firmly admonished her to say "I'm sorry" to her brother and she who had previously been quite good about saying heartfelt apologies responded "I will never say I'm sorry." And nine years later I can honestly say she's been true to her word. Well, she's said it a few times to friends, but never within the family or when she thinks I might be listening. We've had to find work-arounds which convey apologies and make reparations without uttering The Word.

She also will not consent to be taught, at least not when it's not her idea first, which is a very rare occasion indeed. One day I watched her trying to figure out how to read, and I offered to help her with letter-sounds. Oops. Another major miscalculation on my part. She hid any interest in learning to read for 18 months, when I suddenly realized that she was reading National Geographics, almost fluently, just not looking at the pictures as I'd thought. Within weeks she was on to proper novels. What an infuriating child! She did all that learning-to-read work secretly, because I'd subjected her to some sort of indignity by suggesting she might want some help.

Here we are though. She's almost 13, a rapidly maturing adolescent coping with hormones and all that goes along with that. Our relationship could have become a disaster by now. But we've had to figure it out. I can honestly say we have a terrific relationship. It's taken a lot of work, and our solutions haven't always been conventional ones. But we get along and we understand and respect each other very deeply indeed. And she's incredibly well-educated, something I bear very little direct responsibility for. I've facilitated, I've strewn resources; I've done almost no teaching per se -- really just a little algebra within the past year or two.

Miranda

[mama2cntrykids]

Thank you so much ladies. You're showing me that he doesn't have to be taught in the "normal" sense and I'm learning that the "worlds" views are a bit off, lol.

[shimmer]

I agree with previous posters, for us homeschooling is all about the relationships within our family and the time connected to each other.

Your relationship with your son won't be improved by sending him to school; it will only provide for each of you a break from each other. This may be a vaulable tool you use at sometime in your lives. However, homeschooling together will provide you with time to work toward the relationship you both crave. You can and will find ways to work together that meet both of your needs.

Good luck to you!