please give me advice - Page 2

[Lillian J]

I'm adding to my previous post that I also started washing all my son's bedding frequently - mattress pad and comforter included - once we realized we needed to get on the ball to prevent dust mites and/or mold.

But about your older daughter - if you do decide to take her out of school, I would suggest that you really show your appreciation as much as possible, and make every effort to get her together frequently with other children under more controlled conditions than at school. The effects of her relationship with her sister - and with you - could be pretty negative and longlasting if she's not treated as if she's every bit as important as her sister, and in such a way that you really show compassion and understanding.

I sure wish you all the best - Lillian

[littlest birds]

I didn't vote, because I don't know.

I generally think that avoiding germs alone is not a good reason to pull your dd out of school. That was the answer I wanted to give, however...

Your situation may be an exceptional enough one.



I think that your 4yo will still get exposure to many viruses--it might be less frequent but it will still be happening. If she is highly susceptible to coming down with the things she is exposed to, then it seems she will keep getting sick often. (But maybe not!)

My children were in school last year--they were sick many times and one after the other each time. Sigh. Some of it (shingles for instance) was not exposure-related. I tend to attribute the illnesses more to stress than anything else.

At home, they are not getting sick. They have been around other kids this year, sometimes other kids with colds and such, but have not been catching anything at all. And even though i think lower stress is central to their wellness now, exposure could definitely be a lot of it...

I don't know. School sounds like such a healthy thing in all other ways. For us, the illnesses last year were a wake-up call to change how stressed we were. But it was not one child changing completely for another's sake. That sounds like such a tough decision!

I'm very sorry about your youngest and the asthma! That sounds so very hard.

[AngelBee]

I would pull her

[chaoticzenmom]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

By the way, my son had some allergies and asthma when he was little, and we needed to get everything out of his room that dust mites or mold could live in, - it helped ever so much! We took out the rug, and replaced it with cheap (but attractive) vinyl, because many of the better vinyls have too many chemicals that can exude toxins; encased his mattress in a thick plastic case specially sold for people with allergies; took out the curtains and replaced with vinyl shades; replaced his pillow and encased the new one in a special cover for people with allergies; got all stuffed toys out of the room; and removed all books. It sounds like a lot, but it really wasn't, and it made him so much more comfortable! Later, we discovered that our cockateels were causing his discomfort in the living room - we'd always thought it was just something in our sofa - and he was fine in there once we gave them away. He was fine by his teen years, by the way. We already had hardwood floor throughout the house because of his and my allergies - so the rest of the house was fine. If you have carpeting, you may have to do frequent vacuuming with a vacuum cleaner that completely filters out air rather than kicking it back into the room.

Edited to add: I also started washing all my son's bedding frequently - mattress pad and comforter included - once we realized we needed to get on the ball to prevent dust mites and/or mold.

I know it may all sound on the excessive side, but it sure made a wonderful difference in our lives. Lillian

My daughter was also waking every morning with a sore throat and stuffed nose. I took out all of her stuffed animals except the one that she sleeps with and her sore throats and stuffy noses are history! All the stuffed animals are in a "nook" that we created for them outside of her bedroom.

Also, If you haven't already, stop giving her milk products for a week to see what happens.

Best to you
Lisa (mom to 3 wonderful children)

[ameliabedelia]

That is a tough situation, but I would pull older dd out of school and homeschool her. I really think she coudl plenty of socialization (more than in school) and still bring home less viruses. People DO use school as daycare, and as such they tend to send their kids if they have mild illnesses. I know when I was in school, my parents only kept us home for actual puking, stomach bugs. All other colds and things, we still went to school. My mom was a SAHM as well, so it wasn't like it it would have been hard for HER to have us home. She just didn't want us to miss much school, and the schools really frown on too many absences. It's tough on the kids to be out, and then have to make up, etc. It is really "frowned" upon in school to keep your kids home for a several days in a row for every cold that comes along, kwim?

All those factors are taking out of the picture when you are talking about homeschooling activities. Most parents are much more considerate about staying home if anyone is sick. Weather permitting, you can get LOTS of socialization outdoors at playground, zoos., etc. and in an outdoor setting, you pretty unlikely to spread germs, unless the kids actually share food or something. Even other activities like sports, girl scouts, 4-H, etc. parents usually do keep their kids home if they are sick. Plus, lots of those activities can be outdoors, which lowers the transmission of germs. But even indoor things like art lessons, music class., etc. there will be less children and since the parents usually have to drive the kid there and either wait for them or hang around nearby..they are less likely to take their kids if they are sick. Basically any sitation whre the parent doesn't just drop the kid off for several hours and use it as child care, then then you are much less likely to have sick kids around.

[guest^]

I didn't vote.

The pp's all give such wonderful insight/advice....

I just wanted to add that too much stress and not enough sleep cannot be undermined!

Is there more stress and sleep disrupted by putting older dd in school?

Also, does your 4yo put fingers in mouth frequently?

It is possible of course that your dc could have gotten very sick regardless-as others had said-some dc are just more sickly. And some seasons are worse than others....

What a difficult corner you are in!! I am so sorry your dd is so sick-there is nothing worse than having a very sick dc. ((((HUGS)))

If you do bring dd home, IMHO I would approach academics in a very relaxed way. Seven is still so young. In our state, we don't have to "school" dc until they are 7.

Not much more to add. Best of luck in your decision,and please keep us posted!

Warmly,
mp

[Brigianna]

Schools are very germy. More so than other group situations, mostly because so many kids come to school sick. In general I would say if your dd likes school and does well there, she should be in school, but in your case, this is endangering your younger dd's health. I would pull her out.

[phathui5]

I wouldn't pull her out of school until you've exhausted every option for keeping your dd4 healthy.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by mamapoppins

If you do bring dd home, IMHO I would approach academics in a very relaxed way. Seven is still so young. In our state, we don't have to "school" dc until they are 7.

Absolutely. The whole thing must be hard on her as it is - if she comes home, it should be kept as nurturing and upbeat as possible; and there's no hurry as far as academics are concerned anyway. - Lillian

[*~Danielle~*]

I didn't vote, but I wanted to encourage you that you could try making it a regime, when dd (7) comes home from school, she has to take a bath right away and change her clothes. You'll have more laundry but it may make the difference.

DD (4) won't be allowed to play with her bookbag or books.

[Arduinna]

I would pull her, hopefully she has made some more friends nearby that she can continue to be social with.

[mattemma04]

Even if your dd does not become ill she could still expose your younger child to germs. Washing and changing will help,but not 100%.

If you can figure out why your younger child is so ill prone,and get her stronger then it might be worth taking your older one out for a little while. Try naturopaths,homeopaths,and even TCM(traditional chinese meds).

Shame on the nurse and/or doctors who yelled at you.Really,what good did that do? What they should have done is teach you about symptoms and what is considered severe enough for immediate attention.Yelling at a parent only makes a person feel less confident.

I hope you can get your little one on to better health soon.Look into your indoor air quality as well.Might be something in the vents/walls that causes issues.My dd is also 7 and started ps this year,but so far so good for her and her 4yo brother who stays at home with me(though he does get ill more often than her).

I like this book.Some pages are online:
http://www.healthy.net/scr/Author.asp?PeoId=623

Best wishes!

[mykdsmomy]

So sorry you're going through this, mama I think if I were you, I would focus on healing dd4. I would cross post her current health status over in health and healing and also the vax forum. There may be a nutritional deficiency there or some sort of allergy that is causing her asthma and weakened immune system

As far as dd7, that is such a tough decision I wouldnt base your decision to pull dd7 out of where she's happy and doing well on dd4 until you've exhausted all other areas of healing dd4 first. I hope that makes sense....

You know your family better than any of us here and you'll make the right decision for your children. Good luck and keep us posted

[meowee]

Thank you ladies for your advice. As of today I am still sending DD 7 to school. Yesterday she overheard me talking about the school situations and she started crying that she would miss her friends, and started rattling off their names . DD 4 was not hospitalized last week (there were 2 days where it was touch and go) so the fact that she has gotten through 2 colds without being hospitalized gives me very slight encouragement.

It is an awful position to be in, I agonized for 2 years over whether to send her to school, and now that she is in, and happy, I have to agonize all over again about whether to pull her out.

Her school has 600+ kids in it, much too crowded for my taste, so you can imagine how the germs spread there...

[Stevie]

I would be pumping antioxidents into my 4 yr old in huge amounts, completely taking all processed, pre packaged foods out of the house and also getting rid of stuffed animals and carpets, especially in the room she sleeps in.

If none of that helps, then I would consider pulling my 7 yr old out of school...

I have not met a person yet who didn't have their asthma and allergies kicked in the butt with antioxidants

[Spencersmom]

Originally Posted by lisa49

Have you tried seeing a naturapathic Dr? My constantly ill son, we discovered, is allergic to milk, wheat and eggs. When we changed his diet, he did so much better because his body was able to fight illnesses instead of his allergies. A naturapathic dr will do an allergy test that is considered experimental, but has proved useful by myself and several of my friends. Just an idea. Lisa (mom to 3 wonderful children)

I couldn't agree more. No matter what you decide to do with your older dd, you need to get your younger one stronger. The best thing you can do for her is to support her immune system by giving her the best nutrition possible. I would find every natural way that I could to boost my child's immune system so that she would be able to fight off these colds. I really like this book - Superimmunity for Kids : What to Feed Your Children to Keep Them Healthy Now, and Prevent Disease in Their Future (Paperback) by Leo Galland, Dian Dincin Buchman.

I am of the opinion that an overproduction of mucous (asthma) is the body's way of trying to rid itself of toxins. You need to find out what toxins are affecting your daughter this way. They could be yeast overgrowth, allergies to dust mites, food dyes, perfumes, gluten and any number of other things. If you would like more information about this, please feel free to pm me.

[Spencersmom]

Originally Posted by *~Danielle~*

I didn't vote, but I wanted to encourage you that you could try making it a regime, when dd (7) comes home from school, she has to take a bath right away and change her clothes. You'll have more laundry but it may make the difference.

DD (4) won't be allowed to play with her bookbag or books.

What message would this send to the older dd? It would be maddening to try and rid this child of all germs. The key is to strengthen the immune system of everyone in the family. Go to the source of why they are getting sick in the first place. Not everyone who is exposed to germs gets sick. You need to be strong enough to fight the germs off.