Originally Posted by Zonie
This is a teenager, a junior high student, a boy who will be driving in four years.
First of all, he's not a teenager.
Second, what does "a boy who will be driving in four years" have to do with anything
? That's four years!! My son is 13.5, and he doesn't even look like the same person that he looked like at 12. Between August, 2005 and August, 2006, he gained 35 pounds, about six inches in height, started growing body hair and his face changed shape. In just one
year, he changed totally. I have no idea what he'll look like, act like or think like by the time he's 16! At 12, he was still a kid
- at 13, he was a full-blown teenager. But, that's not about the calendar. He has a few male friends who hit puberty several months or a year before he did, and he has several male friends who aren't there yet.
Third - this:
|He was scared to tell his mom because it is silly. He peed on the floor because he was afraid of the dark. Who wouldn't be afraid to admit that, much less a 12 year old boy.
Why the part I bolded? Why does he deserve so much more crap for being 12? If this boy is so terrified that he'd rather pee on his carpet than get up at night, then he's having a brutally hard time. Who wants to tell their mom that they're terrified when there are so many people who will dismiss that terror as "silly"? Who are you (or me or anybody else) to decide that someone else's fears are "silly"?
I'm not 12. I'm 38. I'm terrified of spiders...I mean terrified like if I see one in my room, I won't sleep that night, and maybe not the next night. I would hold it for hours
if my only choice were to get up at night, if I had reason to think there was a spider in the room. I'm aware it's not rational, and I'm sure the OP's son knows that his fear of the dark isn't rational. But, why isn't a 12 year old boy allowed to be terrified of something when grown men and women are afraid? Why should his fears be dismissed like that?
I cannot believe there are people on this thread who actually dismissed this as "normal teenage laziness", just because the boy initially said he didn't want to get up to use the toilet. I've been around a lot of teenagers in my time (friends of the family, then my brother's friends, then my friends, now ds1's friends) and some of them have been poster children for laziness. None of them would have peed on their carpet. The simple fact that the boy did this is a sign that something is wrong
OP: Kudos to you for trying to find a way to deal with this and for having your son's trust to the extent that he was willing to tell you he's scared.