Life with toddler & Newborn harder than I thought...(X=post in Oct DDC)

[ladybugchild77]

I am not here to complain - just to get support. I am just very tired...dh works 12 hour days and now that the Christmas season is here they could be longer. Tandeming is hard - sleep has regressed for my toddler - my newborn is allergic to dairy so somehow I need to cut that out - we're broke so Christmas will not be very good (I missed the MDC deadline ) - sigh...All that being said - I LOVE LOVE LOVE my girls and can't imagine life without Devin in the picture now...I am just going through a rough patch...thanks for listening!

[littlelambs]

i'm sorry sweetie. i had two girls almost 14 months apart...i know how overwhelming it can be. whathelped me was taking it, literally, 1 hour at a time. i would "shrink" our home...what i mean is, i made a portable "changing station" by keeping diapers, wipes, anything newborn care related and toddler care related at the bottom of our entertainment center in our living room...i also had all of older dd's favorite toys in there as well and some of her favorite movies. then we gated in the two exits to the living room. then i rested. when i needed to "rest" my eyes, iw ould put on one of dd's fav movies and quietly rest on the couch. mind you, i never fell asleep, but in those early moments just closing my eyes did a world to recharge me when i was so exhausted. i nursed little one and kept her with me at all times. only times we left that living room were meal times, or when putting my older dd down for a nap, otherwise, we lived in that room. housework was put off until weekends when dh was home. those first weeks are so hard, recovering, caring and adjusting, i ignored what i "wanted" to do (like the mounds of "living" laundry lurking at me, or the stinky dishes building up) conserved my energy and just focused on caring for my babies and myself....really, it was "survival" mode those first few months. i want you to know i have been there. i remember crying alot beucase i felt inadequate...i didn't like "slowing down" or regressing my old standards on the house...but as time went on it got easier...each day that passed i felt immense satisfaction that i aws caring for two tiny precious babies and everyone was healthy, happy and growing! and that one day it would not be so chaotic or demanding. it does get easier!!! i promise! do what you have to do now to care for you and the little ones... "just keep swimming" as dorey says take one day, one hour at a time...congratulate yourself on managing mini-crisis, such as changing two diapers at once or meeting demands when you have two babies crying at once...pat yourself on the back OFTEN becuase you deserve it! no matter how small or how large the things you have accomplished! things eased up on a weekly basis...then monthly....finally by my dd's first birthday it was completley different! she was running around with her big sister giggling, they lvoed eachother dearly...i was already seeing the fruits of my labors...they were instant playmates and now i had that time to clean or rest as i needed before because they were so good at entertaining eachother. hang in there..i promise it does get easier!

[mbhf]

looks like your two are just a few days closer than my two youngest.

i am blessed with three good sleepers, the babies only wake to nurse most nights, though of course they both want to nurse at the same time and i still haven't goten the hang of tandem night nursing, so i can't go back to sleep until caleb is done.

for me the best thing is keeping busy. i do have the advantage of a very patient 3 1/2 year old though, he gives my toddler someone to play with.

i am going to second the pp, it does get so much easier. my first two are 22 months apart, and i love the spacing. they play together so well, they're best friends. after caleb became mobile and able to play a little, it was easier than having just one.

[grypx831]

I'm going through the same thing at the moment. I TOTALLY AGREE wiht "shriking the house". It's how I do it. Me and the girls spend the say in the master bedroom -my toddler has toys and books and Noggin on the TV sometimes and I've got the baby in the bassinet next to the bed/holding her in bed. It's working really well for us and I even manage to get some laundry and stuff done because my toddler isn't running through the house like a tornado.