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For those who are against drapes - Page 2

post #21 of 304
If a woman doesn't want to show her breasts that's fine, I never said it was bad to want to be modest. But there is also no shame in showing skin.

My point remains the same: Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
post #22 of 304
To me, if modesty is the issue, it's the difference between adapting clothing so that one can feed without having to possibly almost disrobe the top half of one's body and waving a flag that says "I'M BEING MODEST." which is, when you think about it, rather the opposite of true modesty.

Modesty isn't just about body coverage IMO. If you're advertising how modest you are, by using the "I'm BREASTFEEDING flag" for instance, you're not really being modest IMO.

If our normal clothing, that nearly everyone wore on a regular basis, were breastfeeding friendly to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue at all. We'd go about our business, and if we had a baby to feed, we'd simply do so. Unfortunately, much of modern clothing is not so intelligently designed.
post #23 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
Are you also against nursing clothes? Because they serve the same purpose...
I think drapes are silly but nursing clothes are not the same at all, as previous posters have described well.

If you can find good nursing clothes (the ones I bought didn't fit or work on me at all, what a waste) and you like to wear them, great, but after trying, I totally don't see the point.
post #24 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lml41981 View Post
My thing is that I have to wear clothing anyway. So, if I find some clothing that makes nursing easier and looks good, then I'll wear it. I never walk around wearing an apron or a blanket, so why would I throw one on to nurse?

That said, I have one nursing shirt and I quit wearing it months and months ago. I just wear normal ol' clothes.
I guess the difference I'm not getting is--the purpose of a drape is to cover your breasts and upper body. The purpose of a shirt is to cover your breasts and upper body. So it seems odd that people would oppose the drape on the grounds that a woman should not feel the need to cover her breasts/upper body, but use/support shirts that do the same thing. You wear clothing anyway--so you cover your breasts and upper body anyway on a regular basis. So why should you have to or be expected to reveal part of your body that you would normally keep covered just because you need to nurse your child?

And if you are opposed to that, wouldn't it make sense to be opposed to clothing, at least shirts? Or at least nursing shirts


FTR--I'm specifically asking about people who are ideologically opposed to drapes and find them offensive, not just those who choose not to use them for themselves.



But now, if I'm understanding it right, the objection to drapes vs. clothes is that the drape covers the baby as well as the mother, and the baby should be uncovered. That makes more sense, at least. But doesn't the mother have the right to decide how much of her body to expose in public?
post #25 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83 View Post
If a woman doesn't want to show her breasts that's fine, I never said it was bad to want to be modest. But there is also no shame in showing skin.

My point remains the same: Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
How does wearing a drape send that message any more than wearing clothes sends that message? That's what I don't get.
post #26 of 304
Just for an idea for those who do not like to show their bellies, don't like nursing tops or using blankets...

Cut an old t-shirt. Cut out the top portion in front, leaving the belly portion. Tuck it into your pants, and wear a regular shirt over it. Then when you lift your shirt to nurse, the other shirt is still tucked in, no tummy showing.
post #27 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meiri View Post
To me, if modesty is the issue, it's the difference between adapting clothing so that one can feed without having to possibly almost disrobe the top half of one's body and waving a flag that says "I'M BEING MODEST." which is, when you think about it, rather the opposite of true modesty.

Modesty isn't just about body coverage IMO. If you're advertising how modest you are, by using the "I'm BREASTFEEDING flag" for instance, you're not really being modest IMO.

If our normal clothing, that nearly everyone wore on a regular basis, were breastfeeding friendly to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue at all. We'd go about our business, and if we had a baby to feed, we'd simply do so. Unfortunately, much of modern clothing is not so intelligently designed.
So you think wearing a drape is like "showing off"? I can sort of see that... but if your concern is not showing your body, it wouldn't matter if it looked like an "I'm breastfeeding" flag...


Some women can't really be covered while nursing with just nursing clothes, so if they want to be covered, they have to use a drape... but the intent of the drape and the clothes seems to be the same...
post #28 of 304
Speaking purely from personal experience...I NEVER used a blanket to cover up w/ while nursing my children in a room full of women. I flashed them all, and didn't mind a bit. In smaller groups where men are (other than my own husband, of course), I have gone to another room to feed.

That said, I do not plan to do that this time around w/ my next child. The same "rule" will apply to women only areas. But where other men are in small groups, I will nurse discreetly , w/out a cover, but keep a blanket or burp cloth (diaper sized) for latch on and off. That is how I am comfortable. Out in the middle of a zoo, for instance, I will nurse as needed, w/ out any kind of cover.

I think every woman is entitled to nurse as she feels comfortable. She should not be made to feel as though she HAS to cover up, but if she chooses to, then that is fine. A woman should not feel like she HAS to nurse UNcovered either, just to prove a point.
post #29 of 304
I'm really modest in general about my nude bod (or swimsuited bod). That said, I don't care WHAT anyone else wears or doesn't wear when breastfeeding. However, for myself, I never "got the hang of it" as far as NIP with a nursing top. I always felt like I was about to give the world a full-frontal. Instead, I used a loosely woven shawl a lot as a drape. I don't think I should be made to feel like a bad example just because I'm shy.
post #30 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
How does wearing a drape send that message any more than wearing clothes sends that message? That's what I don't get.
Obviously the fact that we wear clothes at all implies some form of modesty... but that's a fact that's pretty universally accepted, humans wear clothes. So that's a given.

Clothes function not only to give us some modesty, but also to protect our bodies from the elements -- to provide a barrier for our more 'tender' parts and to keep our bodies at a comfortable temperature (in cooler weather) or shielded from the sun.

So I guess to me the difference between a nursing top and a nursing drape would be that the shirt would continue to be useful whether or not the mother is nursing. Whereas the drape functions solely to provide a barrier for a nursing mom and baby.

The real issue is not whether a drape should or shouldn't be used -- there are obviously women who are more comfortable with one or the other -- the drape should not be compulsory when nursing in public. It's nice that it exists, as a convenience to moms who need that extra level of privacy. But if a woman is equally comfortable with the level of modesty that a nursing top describes... or if she just hikes up her regular top!... that's a decision to be made on an individual basis.
post #31 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by marisa724 View Post
Obviously the fact that we wear clothes at all implies some form of modesty... but that's a fact that's pretty universally accepted, humans wear clothes. So that's a given.

Clothes function not only to give us some modesty, but also to protect our bodies from the elements -- to provide a barrier for our more 'tender' parts and to keep our bodies at a comfortable temperature (in cooler weather) or shielded from the sun.

So I guess to me the difference between a nursing top and a nursing drape would be that the shirt would continue to be useful whether or not the mother is nursing. Whereas the drape functions solely to provide a barrier for a nursing mom and baby.

The real issue is not whether a drape should or shouldn't be used -- there are obviously women who are more comfortable with one or the other -- the drape should not be compulsory when nursing in public. It's nice that it exists, as a convenience to moms who need that extra level of privacy. But if a woman is equally comfortable with the level of modesty that a nursing top describes... or if she just hikes up her regular top!... that's a decision to be made on an individual basis.
I agree that it should be an individual choice; no one should be forced to wear a drape (or, IMO, a shirt). But many people have suggested that the existence of nursing drapes is offensive, or the fact that some women prefer to keep their breasts covered is offensive. But they're okay with clothes. That's what I'm asking about...
post #32 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
And if you are opposed to that, wouldn't it make sense to be opposed to clothing, at least shirts? Or at least nursing shirts
Responding to the entire post, but just quoting this because the post is long...

The reason I'm not opposed to nursing cothing is that we have to wear clothes anyway. Nursing clothing is just an option of a type of clothing you can wear for a particular purpose. You don't *have* to buy nursing clothes, but if you want to, you can...and you can look reasonably normal while wearing them.

Nobody wears anything similar to a nursing drape out and about on a daily basis. Nothing about a nursing drape says, "This is just me being normal."

Also, not many people suggest that women "ought to" wear nursing clothes. I have heard people suggest that women "ought to" wear nursing drapes. If people started suggestion the use of nursing clothes while imposing minimum standards on what makes nursing in public acceptable, I'd have a problem with that.
post #33 of 304
I don't think the EXISTENCE of drapes is offensive. The fact that seeing them widely used makes people have a tendency to say things like
"You SHOULD cover up!"
"Why don't YOU just do like THEY do and be modest?"
"Get a blanket, or do THAT somewhere else!"

That is what offends. Also advertisements and packages that say things like "Now you can breastfeed comfortably anywhere! Breastfeed with modesty, and STYLE too! Avoid public embarassment while keeping your hooters hidden!"

Those are disgusting. I DO breastfeed comfortably anywhere. I am comfortable BECAUSE I am not suffocating under an extra layer of fabric.
I DO breastfeed modestly. I choose a quiet corner, and I just feed my baby without making a show of it. I do not draw attention to myself with a big pastel blanket printed with baby cows that might as well be a neon sign "Breastfeeding going on RIGHT HERE!" (Not that mothers who cover are trying to draw attention, but I tend to notice a big drape more than I do a mom just holding her baby). I do not know anyone who thinks wearing a big cape over the front of them is "stylish" and it's definitely not something I care to add to my own unique style.
I am not embarassed that my baby needs to eat. I eat in public, my baby does too. And I do not have "hooters" that need to be hidden. I have breasts, and a baby. Neither are a source of embarassment to me.
post #34 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I agree that it should be an individual choice; no one should be forced to wear a drape (or, IMO, a shirt). But many people have suggested that the existence of nursing drapes is offensive, or the fact that some women prefer to keep their breasts covered is offensive. But they're okay with clothes. That's what I'm asking about...
I don't think someone covering their breasts is offensive. What I don't like about a nursing drape is that it suggests that the whole act of breastfeeding a baby needs to be hidden from the world. A nursing top, to me, is more about modesty .
post #35 of 304
Think of the comfort of the nursing baby. I cant imagine thta having one head covered would be all the comfortable, actually its down right hot and stuffy
post #36 of 304
I wear a nursing top (or a nursing tank under a regular shirt) almost every single day. I have for the last year since my daughter was born (her birthday is tomorrow!: ) I have NEVER worn a "drape" of any kind.
If one shops around for a nursing top, she is likely to find positive messages concerning nursing anywhere, proudly, comfortably, and easily. I find these messages to be pro-breastfeeding in a proud way. Like, there is nothing to be ashamed of, make nursing easier and more convenient at home or away...
If one were so inclined to shop for a "drape" (specifically designed for that purpose) she would find all kinds of messages that it is inappropriate to nurse without wearing a giant tent over yourself and your child. Like, if you can't find a place to hide while nursing your child, take a portable place to hide with you!
Not to mention that a new nursing couple needs to be able to make eye contact with one another, and the mother needs to be able to see her child to watch for latch issues. A nursing top makes these visibility available while a drape cuts any potential eye contact as well as blocking the mother's view of her child's latch.
post #37 of 304
I don't like nursing cover ups(drapes) I also don't wear nursing attire uless you count 2 nursing tanks I wear in the winter for warmth under reg. shirts.
I wonder though how many nursing moms are truely uncomfortable with NIP and use a cover VS those who actually cover up because of society's twisted views on breastfeeding?
post #38 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
In fairness, you're not likely to see a monkey or a dog wearing clothes, either...
Too true. I just think we need to sometimes be reminded that WE are not as special as we'd like to believe.
post #39 of 304
i'm not really clear on how someone could be against nursing clothes..... they facilitate, i guess.... at least for some.

actually, yeah, i'm against them. they are overpriced and not attractive, imo.... i'm for affordable clothes that are comfy and look nice. (i didnt buy maternity clothes either... i'm definately against those.)
post #40 of 304
Took the words right out of my mouth!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83 View Post
That's an intersting opinion.
Nursing clothes make nursing easier... like instead of baring your midrif to the cold you get to open a slit so baby can nurse and you can stay warm... or not show your post-preg strech-marked belly to the entire world.

Nursing drapes, however, send the message that nursing is something that is inappropriate, is something to be ashamed of, that shouldn't be seen.

No baby should have to have their head covered so they can eat.
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