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For those who are against drapes - Page 3

post #41 of 304
I don't see the point of nursing clothes. I tried one shirt on, and the slits don't line up properly on me. Fortunately, I have plenty of perfectly good shirts and skirts.

I also feel that people who drape are better lactivists than I am. It's obvious what they're doing under there, and nothing says discreet like a brightly coloured sheet. If someone can see exactly what I'm doing while Abby is having lunch, they're standing too close to me.

That said, I don't believe in being 'discreet' -- that implies that feeding my kid is wrong/shameful. If she's hungry, she gets to eat. If someone gets an eyeful, oh well. If someone complains, they'll get squirted with milk.
post #42 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharon71 View Post
I don't like nursing cover ups(drapes) I also don't wear nursing attire uless you count 2 nursing tanks I wear in the winter for warmth under reg. shirts.
I wonder though how many nursing moms are truely uncomfortable with NIP and use a cover VS those who actually cover up because of society's twisted views on breastfeeding?
Doesn't nip with a drape still count as nip?

In my own case, I use the drape because I don't want to show my boobies. In any context.

Do you find nursing clothes offensive, or do you just not like them personally?



Quote:
Originally Posted by afishwithabike View Post
Too true. I just think we need to sometimes be reminded that WE are not as special as we'd like to believe.
True, and of course some pet owners do put their dogs in clothes... but I'm not condoning that...

I guess wearing clothes/drapes is a way to make ourselves special, to make our bodies private...
post #43 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiritmomma View Post
I wear a nursing top (or a nursing tank under a regular shirt) almost every single day. I have for the last year since my daughter was born (her birthday is tomorrow!: ) I have NEVER worn a "drape" of any kind.
If one shops around for a nursing top, she is likely to find positive messages concerning nursing anywhere, proudly, comfortably, and easily. I find these messages to be pro-breastfeeding in a proud way. Like, there is nothing to be ashamed of, make nursing easier and more convenient at home or away...
If one were so inclined to shop for a "drape" (specifically designed for that purpose) she would find all kinds of messages that it is inappropriate to nurse without wearing a giant tent over yourself and your child. Like, if you can't find a place to hide while nursing your child, take a portable place to hide with you!
Not to mention that a new nursing couple needs to be able to make eye contact with one another, and the mother needs to be able to see her child to watch for latch issues. A nursing top makes these visibility available while a drape cuts any potential eye contact as well as blocking the mother's view of her child's latch.
I've never heard of this. I bought my drape at the same place that sells maternity and nursing clothes, and slings and baby stuff.
post #44 of 304
I'm more discreet (and comfortable) in a tank with a shirt over it than with most nursing-wear. ITA that nursing-wear is about convenience (especially nursing dresses!) and drapes are about shame and hiding. If someone truly is only comfortable being covered while NIP, then they should, by all means, cover up, but the companies that sell these products prey on womens insecurities purposefully... and I find that highly offensive.

love andp eace.
post #45 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by moosemommy View Post
i'm not really clear on how someone could be against nursing clothes..... they facilitate, i guess.... at least for some.

actually, yeah, i'm against them. they are overpriced and not attractive, imo.... i'm for affordable clothes that are comfy and look nice. (i didnt buy maternity clothes either... i'm definately against those.)
I don't see why people would be against nursing clothes either, but since some people are against drapes (not just personally disliking them, but finding them offensive), I wondered if the same concept would apply to nursing clothes...


But it seems like the consensus is--covering your breast is okay. Covering your baby is not.


So, my next question--what about women for whom nursing clothes don't provide enough breast coverage for her comfort? If one of those women wants to cover her breast, she has to partially cover her baby too. What should she do?
post #46 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya View Post
I'm more discreet (and comfortable) in a tank with a shirt over it than with most nursing-wear. ITA that nursing-wear is about convenience (especially nursing dresses!) and drapes are about shame and hiding. If someone truly is only comfortable being covered while NIP, then they should, by all means, cover up, but the companies that sell these products prey on womens insecurities purposefully... and I find that highly offensive.

love andp eace.
This is the other thing I'm confused about--the idea that wanting to be covered is about shame and insecurities. I'm not ashamed or insecure of my boobs. I just don't want to show them to anybody outside my nuclear family. Why would that be considered insecure?
post #47 of 304
I'm against nursing clothes and covers for me. If they help women nurse, then great. My other problem with nursing clothes is that they are another expensive item some might think they need to bf.
post #48 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
Are you also against nursing clothes? Because they serve the same purpose...

It seems odd to me that someone would be anti-drape but pro-nursing clothes. I'm not being snarky. I would like to know what the difference is in people's minds. Unless you are against nursing clothes as well. And if so, what should people who live in cold climates do?
I'm not against either, I'm just in favor of the mother having a choice whether to use it or not.
post #49 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
This is the other thing I'm confused about--the idea that wanting to be covered is about shame and insecurities. I'm not ashamed or insecure of my boobs. I just don't want to show them to anybody outside my nuclear family. Why would that be considered insecure?
I didn't say that YOU were insecure (I don't know you from Eve), but that companies who sell these products prey on women's natural insecurities from growing up in a culture where breasts are overly-sexualised. It's perfectly possible to NIP without using a drape and not show your breasts to anyone. I do it all the time (and so could many other women were they given the support and not told they "need" something to cover up with), but companies who sell these products advertise them as if they were the only way to not go around and flash everyone while NIP which is simply not true. I'm a very modest person. I wear long skirts and never wear anything low-cut. I would also be offended if someone was advertising long skirts and un-low-cut shirts as being the only way one could go out in public and be modest I guess it's a good thing I wasn't around in the 1800s

love and peace.
post #50 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola View Post
I'm not against either, I'm just in favor of the mother having a choice whether to use it or not.
As am I. This is in response to several comments here that nursing drapes are offensive (not just that it should be a choice or that some people don't personally like them, but that they are offensive and should not exist).
post #51 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
So people would be okay with a nursing drape that only covered the breast, not the baby? The impression I got was that the anti-drape people were against the idea of women wanting to cover their breasts while nursing. Which is why I thought that nursing clothes served more or less the same purpose....
I have been around hundreds of nursing women, but have only seen one or two, possibly, that expose their breast in the process of nursing....
post #52 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya View Post
I didn't say that YOU were insecure (I don't know you from Eve), but that companies who sell these products prey on women's natural insecurities from growing up in a culture where breasts are overly-sexualised. It's perfectly possible to NIP without using a drape and not show your breasts to anyone. I do it all the time (and so could many other women were they given the support and not told they "need" something to cover up with), but companies who sell these products advertise them as if they were the only way to not go around and flash everyone while NIP which is simply not true. I'm a very modest person. I wear long skirts and never wear anything low-cut. I would also be offended if someone was advertising long skirts and un-low-cut shirts as being the only way one could go out in public and be modest I guess it's a good thing I wasn't around in the 1800s

love and peace.
Okay. I think that's just what businesses do, though--market their product as though you have to have it. I can see how it would be offensive to imply that you must have a drape... I just don't think the drape people are doing that...
post #53 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499 View Post
I have been around hundreds of nursing women, but have only seen one or two, possibly, that expose their breast in the process of nursing....
Maybe they're more skilled nursers than I am. Don't you have to expose it to latch on, especially an infant? Although there's not much exposure during the actual nursing...
post #54 of 304
I wore nursing clothes for a little while, then discovered it was easier to just lift my shirt. With my second baby I never wore nursing shirts.

I used a blanket to cover my baby if I was out in public and I just felt like it.. didn't want my boob exposed. If I didn't feel like it, I didn't use a blanket. When my kids were older, I used a blanket if it helped them be less distracted.

I never thought much about the message I was sending as that is not my purpose in bf. I don't bf to make a statement, I bf to... well to bf my babies.
post #55 of 304
Oh, and when I first saw the title of this thread in the new posts list, I was like "Why would someone be opposed to drapes?? They are just window coverings..."
post #56 of 304
Not using a drape does not equal showing your breast. I unhook my bra, position baby's head in front of my breast, pull up shirt, latch on, pull shirt down to his nose. Unless you are sitting right next to me, you don't see anything. It is discreet and modest.
post #57 of 304
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by angington View Post
Not using a drape does not equal showing your breast. I unhook my bra, position baby's head in front of my breast, pull up shirt, latch on, pull shirt down to his nose. Unless you are sitting right next to me, you don't see anything. It is discreet and modest.
I am certainly not disputing that this is true for you, but for some women, especially of the more well-endowed variety, nursing without a drape does necessitate some exposure of the breast. And if they're okay with that, cool. But if they're not, I don't think there's anything wrong with using a drape.
post #58 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by angington View Post
Not using a drape does not equal showing your breast. I unhook my bra, position baby's head in front of my breast, pull up shirt, latch on, pull shirt down to his nose. Unless you are sitting right next to me, you don't see anything. It is discreet and modest.
: This is why all women should invest in a mirror that they can set up in front of them (or have someone else they're comfortable with hold for them) while they nurse in a comfortable chair in the privacy of their own home before ever NIP. The woman who is nursing can see MUCH more than anyone else can which is why many women feel that they show more than they really do. I know I felt that way until my friend showed me to check out how I looked nursing in a mirror. Then women can perfect their modesty techniques (to their personal comfort level - whatever that may be)

love and peace.
post #59 of 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
I guess the difference I'm not getting is--the purpose of a drape is to cover your breasts and upper body. The purpose of a shirt is to cover your breasts and upper body. So it seems odd that people would oppose the drape on the grounds that a woman should not feel the need to cover her breasts/upper body, but use/support shirts that do the same thing.
I dislike nursing drapes, but am ok with nursing shirts (though I don't actually own any). The difference for me is not about modesty, it is about convenience. Nursing clothes make nursing easier, while a drape would make it harder. If I were to wear a nursing shirt, it would not be for the purpose of showing less skin, but to avoid the awkwardness of pulling up or unbuttoning regular clothes. Also, a nursing shirt can be more form-fitting and still easy to nurse in than a regular shirt. (I've had to abandon all my tight-fitting clothes in favour of loose t-shirts that can be pulled up easily - I wish I had some nursing shirts, but can't afford to buy new clothes.)
post #60 of 304
I think what is most comfortable for mom and baby is what is appropriate. If that means a playsilk draped over my shoulder during church services or a nursing top while i'm at the playground, then that's what I'll do. The key is do what makes you and your baby comfortable, and if as a bonus that makes the people around you more comfortable, then great, but that shouldn't be the goal!
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