good responses to "good baby"??

[chapulina]

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to share something I find very annoying, but to which I don't know how to respond. The frequent comment I hear when someone remarks about a baby, "he's a good baby- hardly ever cries", or ,"she was a terrible baby, cried day and night", really drives me nuts! I think I know what the person is trying to say; whether caring for this particular little one was easy or challenging, but it really grates me to hear a baby described in terms of "good' or "bad". All babies are wonderful miracles, whether they are "easy" or not.

Anyway, I'm interested in knowing how all of you might respond or have resonded to those kind of comments.

[becoming]

When people refer to my baby as a "good baby", I just smile and say, "All babies are good babies." Said sweetly, with a smile, I think it gets the point across without being rude about it.

That is one of my pet peeves also. How horrible is it for a child to hear their parents say that they were a "terrible baby"!

[thistle]

That "good baby" thing would bug me too. I would usually say "She is a wonderful baby, even when she's screaming."

thistle

[chfriend]

"We are having so much fun!" "She is so much fun." "She's more fun than a barrel of monkeys!" "Isn't it the most fun you can imagine"

These responses are great because they move the conversation off whether she's good...and blows peoples' minds when you have an infant. ~Huh-fun you say~

It's also a great response when they go on and on about how pretty your kid is....

[Piglet68]

I got a great comeback from a similar thread on this board ages ago. Now, when someone asks us "Is she a good baby?" we say

"Well, she hasn't knocked over any liquor stores yet!". And then we laugh. I think it gets our point across in a way that doesn't offend anyone.

:LOL

[veganmamma]

Depending on who I talk to, I say "All babies are good babies, they don't know how to misbehave." or "You would NOT believe how naughty this baby is! She is out all hours of the night, she sasses me all the time and lordy, her swearing, I tell you she ahs a sailor's mouth!" THat usually makes them shut up with a smile.

Lauren

[PaganScribe]

I tell my MIL "He's good regardless of how he's acting right now. Do you mean to imply that he might be bad sometimes?" and she gets flustered. I figure with enough repetition she might "get it."


I tell others "Of course he's good; all babies are good. He just happens to also be very easy-going."

[lilyka]

I usually resond "All babies are good. And this one is especially happy too."

If I am feelin like a smart as* i will say "she is just horrible. That smile there means somehting sinister is afoot"

On the other hand she is so easy and happy and at peace with the world I find myself refering to her as a good baby especially when compared to her sisters who each were quite challenging. But I usually say "Yes she is a good baby, much easier than my other two" I always feel bad about that.

[smittenmom]

When we were visiting my MIL for Easter, she made a similar comment. Until just recently, dd would cry when people tried to play with her or sometimes even look at her. This weekend was the happiest MIL has seen her, so she said, "Oh, she's so good now", implying, of course, that she wasn't good before. I know she didn't mean anything bad by it, but still.... UGH!

[Clarity]

all babies are good babies, or there are no bad babies, are usually my line.

[Liz]

My mother and I were talking about good babies and bad babies when I was pregnant. She said really quietly, "Well, I guess some people may have said your brother was colicky. He cried allot." I was shocked! I had never heard my mother say anything about my brother being a difficult baby. And my brother was 40 years old at this point! I have heard so many parents describe their kids as good or bad babies to anybody who will listen including their own children and yet she hadn't said a word for 40 YEARS!

Then she waited 2 more years to tell me it was always a struggle to breastfeed me. Wow. What next?

I love my Mom!

[captain optimism]

"Oh, yes, he's just WONDERFUL. We are loving every minute."

If they ask about sleeping:

"He's very good at sleeping!" (Because he is, no matter how many hours or when he does it!)

If they ask about crying,

"Oh, he's good about crying, he only cries if something is wrong."
(True, and you know it!)

When he gets up to eating solid food, he's going to be good at eating, too.

[Sylith]

I usually use the "all babies are good" line, delivered with a smile. I told my grandmother "No, he's a very naughty boy, he won't clean his room or eat his broccoli," or something like that, but I knew she'd get the message.

My MIL goes on and on about what a horrible baby my SIL was, and I know it really bugs SIL. Of course, MIL will also talk about what a great baby my DH was, and conclude with the comment, "I don't know what happened" (implying that sometime after the age of one he mysteriously turned into Damien from The Omen or something, I guess..?!) :

I have never known what to say to that.

[seraph]

I always say "yes, she's very good at being a baby".

[LunaMom]

I hate that "is she a good baby" question, too. I'm with the mamas who said they use humor - I'm more likely to say something like, "No, she's always out partying and drinking with her friends, breaking curfew..." But the question irks me for the same reason as the OP - because it implies that a "good" baby is one who needs little attention, therefore meaning that babies who need "too much" (what is that anyway?) are bad. ARRGGHHH! Once I got so darn sick of that question that I looked the person dead in the eye and said, "No. She is a VERY BAD baby." And just walked away. Who knows what she thought.

[fishy]

Re: good responses to "good baby"??

Originally posted by chapulina
Anyway, I'm interested in knowing how all of you might respond or have resonded to those kind of comments.

someone just asked me the other day if ds was a good baby and i said 'of course, and a good thing too, if he wasnt, id have sent him back'

they laughed, and i made a point.

i hate that comment/question.

[ebethmom]

That bugs me, too! My son was a "high maintanence" baby. Nursed around the clock, needed to be held and entertained most of the time, and SCREAMED when he was angry.

One of my friends' babies is six weeks younger, and has a personality that is just the opposite of my son's. Ann would tell me about their bedtime ritual, and how she could lie her baby in the crib and she would just fall asleep. Then she would tell me that her baby was such a "good baby."

I would tell her that my son was a good baby too, he just requires a little more work.

[2much2luv]

My MIL...She uses the good baby line, but I have never heard a bad baby line come out of her mouth. Every baby is a good baby!!! So, I dont mind it coming from her because I know she loves all babies. It must just be ingrained in her mind that babies are either good or bad...but, funny thing, she's never met one of those darn bad babies!

[Mom2Three]

I too cannot stand the "good baby" lines. Once in a store my older two were acting up and the baby was sleeping and the checker says "Oh atleast you got one good one!" I audibly gasped and said "Actually those two are the good ones, this one SUCKS", grabbed my bag and walked out.

Needless to say I have not returned to that store.

All babies are good babies, IMO.

[eilonwy]

My FIL actually said to me once "He's good even when he's being bad" about my son, as if a 3 month old child could be "bad" at all!

I usually say "I like him!" when people comment on how quiet/beautiful/happy/calm my little man is. These three words have gotten me out of many potentially awkward situations. For example: "Your baby is so much bigger/smaller than mine were." saying "I like him!" pretty much ends the conversation.