woohoo! he wizzed on the floor!

[mamabeard]

oh, joyful day today!

my little man is 3 years and 4 months and today was the first day he decided to go without a diaper after his bath.. i'm not sure how exactly to go about this potty learning stuff.. i never pressured him (i ask him once in a while if he wants to use it, but he never does), but we have been talking about it more lately. anyway, after his bath, he closed the bathroom door and said "don't come in mama, me using the potty" and he was in there for about 10 mins, and flushed a few times. i have no idea if he actually used it or not, but he's suddenly showing all this interest! and then he wizzed on the floor and we talked about how next time he feels like he has to wizz, he can go sit on the potty. i asked him to clean it up, and he did with no problem.. but i wonder if maybe i should clean it myself? i just figured if he has to keep cleaning it, he'll want to use the potty more.. hmm.. this is so exciting! i hope his potty enthusiasm continues! how long does it usually take once there's real interest?

[Liz]

We are right in the middle of this. DS will pee and has even pooed in the potty if he is bare bummed. This has been true for about 6 months but because it was the winter he wasn't bare bummed that often, just after a bath and sometimes on weekends if we were just hanging out at home, etc. I bought the underwear and he loves to look at them but won't wear them. "Underwears are for big boys. I a little boy." He asked his 5 year old boy cousin if he wore underwear last week (it was just like he was asking, "So what do you do for a living?") so I think he is rolling it around in his head. He's been saying he wants to be a big boy and ride a 2 wheeled bicycle but still insists he's a little boy and wears diapers. I have to say that all this big boy vs little boy stuff is coming from him (or maybe his babysitter?), I never make those comparisons.

So my advice (but remember I'm a novice!) is don't push it, let him take the lead. Let him run around bare bummed reminding him that if he needs to go to tell you. Then you can offer the potty. I'd also talk about underwear and see how he reacts. My son said he wanted them but isn't ready to wear them so I just suggest it every once in a while and I'm sure someday he'll take me up on it. He'll be the only guy in college wearing 'vintage' Bob the Builder underwear!

[mamabeard]

thanks, liz!

today we bought some pull-ups, cuz he really really wanted them. when i asked him if that meant he would be using the potty he said yes. now i feel kinda bad, like maybe that was pressure (i couldn't really afford them, so i had to make sure).. but i try to be really excited about it with him, like, ooh! peeing and pooing in the potty is fun! tonight after he pooed in his pull-up, about 10 minutes later he went in the bathroom, then i heard the flush, and ran in to see.. the stool was pulled up to the toilet, and i asked him if he went in the potty and he said yes! (but i'm not sure) i'm curious- do little first-timers usually shut the door/want privacy? i don't know where he would've learned to do so, as i don't think i've peed alone for over three years now!

[Liz]

Personally, I'm staying away from Pull ups. I've heard a lot of parents say the kids just pee and poo in them as if they are diapers (which they really are) but won't wear a normal diaper anymore. They're pretty expensive so I'd want to make sure they are really going to be helpful. That's my thinking anyway!

[mamabeard]

hmm... yeah. actually, i buy the store brand, so it is cheaper, but that's a good point. i guess my thinking is that at least this way he can pull them down himself to use the toilet (since he likes to have his privacy!) rather than have to ask me for help.. but i shall see how this package of 42 plays out, and if he's still using them as a diaper for the most part, i guess i'll go back to diapers..

[EFmom]

I didn't let my kids just go in the bathroom by themselves w/ the door closed. I went in with them so that I could help. I also don't have much interest in having them learn how much fun it is to pee in the corner either. Kids that young have to learn to wipe themselves--it's not instinctive.

I think routine use of pull-ups is counterproductive. We use them when the kids are too little to be totally trustworthy about the potty training for situations where it would be hard to get to the potty right away if the need arises.

[mamabeard]

sigh

i guess i got too carried away by my enthusiasm. he hasn't wanted to use the potty since my last post.. since i don't have any other dipers, i'll have to let these run their course, but i guess i'll try offering underwear as an alternative, reminding him that if he wears them they'll get full of pee/poo if he doesn't use the potty.. or is *that* unnecessary pressure?

efmom, of course i wouldn't let him get into the habit of using the potty alone.. i think i didn't go in there to help cuz knowing him (and the sly way he was acting), he would've probably run out of the bathroom shrieking with excitement if i'd followed him... i didn't want to curb his enthusiasm for those first attempts. but yes, i will be wiping in the future!

does anyone out there have advice on *how* to encourage pottying?

[Sofiamomma]

I wonder if maybe you are worrying too much about applying pressure. Think of it as encouragement. It's not like you are shaming, embarrassing or punishing him. You can remark on how exciting it is to be aware he needs to go and then have time to make it to the potty. It takes less time, so he has more time to play. It costs less, so maybe you will have a little extra money to buy treats. Obviously this last one has to be done with a certain amount of finesse, something like "Wow, we are not needing to buy so many diapers, because you are doing such a great job using the potty, we have extra to buy a treat today!"

My older dd responded well to The Potty Book (I think that was what it was called, I forget!). It is red and comes in a girl version and a boy version. There is also a video. I think the author's name was Alona Frankel. I hope I'm remembering right! She also responded well to picking out underwear.

One thing you might want to avoid is encouraging him to be a big boy or pointing out how using the potty is for big boys. My dd referred to herself as "baby big girl" at this age, so I think she was having a lot of mixed feelings about not being a baby anymore. I would think linking potty learning to being "big" might discourage a little person who was not so sure he/she wants to be "big."

What you said about him acting sly raises a red flag. I'm wondering if he is putting on a show for you. Maybe you should insist on being in there with him.

[mamabeard]

great advice, thanks!

heh, actually sly is his favourite kind of humour.. i don't think he was putting on a show (the sly was more in when i poked my head and asked what he was doing, not him getting my attention intentionally).. i'm not too worried about that; he's often a sly little guy..

definately agree with the 'big boy' stuff. i think i accidentally said that once and then i felt like a turd. i don't want him to internalize that, especially since baby is due in less than 4 months and i expect to have some regression.

i think i will schedule in an underwear day with my next cheque. he already has a couple pairs, but if i get him s'thing he really wants, that'll hopefully up his enthusiasm..

and i have been meaning to get a potty book (i think i know the one you're talking about)! i keep forgetting.. this week the trip to the library is gonna be fruitful!

thanks!

[joesmom]

my son is four

and will NOT poop on the potty. he wears pullups because he refuses to wear underwear, i don't want to make it a battle so i am just waiting it out. he is pretty good about peein on the potty. for some reason the poop thing has him spooked & i don't want him to have trouble his whole life, which he would if i pushed him. so, we are waiting. i hope some other mamas can give you some helpful advice!

love, jenny