Conference Time

[Mizelenius]

If you've had a teacher conference lately, how did it go?

I wasn't too happy with mine. DD is in pre-K and the whole session was devoted to giving me tips on handling her frustration (things we already do, BTW). In order to hear something positive I asked to hear how she was doing academically, as I know she excels in that area. The teacher briefly discussed it but it seemed like she didn't want to spend time on that topic as she "isn't worried at all." Then another mom told me today that the teacher told her she wishes "all of the students were like her daughter." (Her daughter is very quiet and does well academically.) I know my DD has things she needs to work on-- what human being doesn't-- but I did not expect the whole conference to be devoted to that, esp. as the teacher seems to want me to "fix" the problem so she doesn't have to deal with it.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius

If you've had a teacher conference lately, how did it go?

I wasn't too happy with mine. DD is in pre-K and the whole session was devoted to giving me tips on handling her frustration (things we already do, BTW). In order to hear something positive I asked to hear how she was doing academically, as I know she excels in that area. The teacher briefly discussed it but it seemed like she didn't want to spend time on that topic as she "isn't worried at all." Then another mom told me today that the teacher told her she wishes "all of the students were like her daughter." (Her daughter is very quiet and does well academically.) I know my DD has things she needs to work on-- what human being doesn't-- but I did not expect the whole conference to be devoted to that, esp. as the teacher seems to want me to "fix" the problem so she doesn't have to deal with it.

What that mom said to you was HIGHLY inappropriate and socially backwards. Totally, totally rude. Wow.

I do think it's fairly typical of a teacher to discuss what's pressing as far as "issues" are concerned, but also to balance that out with positives.

Can you volunteer in the classroom or otherwise go to observe? Is it maybe a personality conflict? Is the environment maybe not such a great match for your daughter? It might help to have some first-hand observation.

[1xmom]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

What that mom said to you was HIGHLY inappropriate and socially backwards. Totally, totally rude. Wow.

ITA! I am always very careful when talking w/other parents of kids in my dd class and what I may or may not say. For instance, one of the parents asked me if my dd was going to apply for the magnet program next year. Actually at our conference the teacher brought it up and suggested we look into it. But I don't think it would be appropriate for me to tell another parent that. I just told them, it was something I was considering and left it at that. My dd is not there to compete w/the other kids and I surely do not want to compete w/the other parents.

Has the teacher said anything before the conference about the issues she may have been having w/your child? I would've have been a bit upset if this is the first time the teacher had said anything. And like flyingspaghettimama, if possible try to go in and observe and talk to your child about how she is doing and how her day is.

[udonandbroth]

We just had our parent/teacher conference this morning. Apparently ds is failing Kindergarten. I guess all that timing isn't working out too well for our boy. I mean how can you fail kindergarten? He is a good kid and if this were pre NCLB he would just be sailing through K. The teacher was very nice and told us in confidence that she is against NCLB and she agrees that the ciriculum (sp?) is too much, too fast, too soon. She walked us through his two page report card, by the way. This conference has inspired me to look into other schools. In a nutshell the conference sucked.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by udonandbroth

We just had our parent/teacher conference this morning. Apparently ds is failing Kindergarten. I guess all that timing isn't working out too well for our boy. I mean how can you fail kindergarten? He is a good kid and if this were pre NCLB he would just be sailing through K. The teacher was very nice and told us in confidence that she is against NCLB and she agrees that the ciriculum (sp?) is too much, too fast, too soon. She walked us through his two page report card, by the way. This conference has inspired me to look into other schools. In a nutshell the conference sucked.

?! How is he failing K? Not coloring inside the lines pretty enough? Yikes.

[LindaCl]

Wow. I will be in Tx this weekend to help kick-off a new program to evaluate the low parental involvement in low performing schools, including low turn-out for the teacher conferences. On one level, after reading this, is it any mystery why parents of less-than-perfectly performing students don't want to go?

Imagine the tables were turned in the conference, and instead of the teacher pointing out every flaw in the student, the parents were given the opportunity to point out every flaw in the teacher?! How many teachers would be up for that? I'd think you'd literally have to force the teachers to come to see them participating in high numbers.

[udonandbroth]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

?! How is he failing K? Not coloring inside the lines pretty enough? Yikes.

This is how he is failing Kindergarten: (this is his report card)

Identifies concepts about print: NYP (not yet proficient)
Demonstrates Phonemic Awareness : NYP
Rapidly names all upper case letters: NYP (they have 3 seconds to name the letter)
Rapidly names all lower case letters: NYP
Makes letter sound associations :NYP
Identifies charachters and setting in a story: NYP
Retells a story with details: NYP
Listens to others when speaking : P (!)
Pronounces single and multi-syllable words correctly : P ( )
Speaks in complete sentencse: NYP
Participates in discussion/converstions: NYP
Developmental Writing Continium Level : 3 (out of 5)
Identifies position and direction words: NYP
Reads and write numbers 0-20: P
Compares and orders numbers 0-20 : P
Counts to 100: NYP
Identifies and compares plane and solid figures: P
Uses ordinal numbers to the fifth: NYP
Counts sets of one to twenty objects: P

This is what they will be graded on in the next two trimesters:
Makes picture graphs and bar graphs
Estimates and measures length
Skip-counts by fives and tens to 100
Skip counts by twos to twenty
Adds sums to 10
Finds differences from 10
Identifies and names value of pennies, nickles and dimes
Tells time to the hour

soooo, not exactly coloring outside of the lines....

[teachma]

udonandbroth, I teach in a public school, and our school also uses a standards-based grading system. In the two schools where I have taught, teachers and administration have interpreted the standards as end of the year expectations. Students should be proficient in June in order for us to promote them. Of course, at the end of November they aren't yet proficient! What other "grades" are there? i am assuming there's a continuum? And, I am also assuming that your child's teacher laid out a plan to help him develop toward proficiency? As in, extra support in the areas of need?

[1xmom]

When my dd was in K last year, from the 1st term she only counted to 70, by then 2nd term she did though.

Retells a story w/detail WOW!
Participates in discussions (I didn't even do that in high school. I was such an introvert Ihated class discussions)
My dd cannot tell time, nor does she always recognize all coins. Wow, I think those are pretty high expectations in K. I'm going to have to go pull my dd report card from last year and see what her says.

[gaialice]

Originally Posted by udonandbroth

This is how he is failing Kindergarten: (this is his report card)

Identifies concepts about print: NYP (not yet proficient)
Demonstrates Phonemic Awareness : NYP
Rapidly names all upper case letters: NYP (they have 3 seconds to name the letter)
Rapidly names all lower case letters: NYP
Makes letter sound associations :NYP
Identifies charachters and setting in a story: NYP
Retells a story with details: NYP
Listens to others when speaking : P (!)
Pronounces single and multi-syllable words correctly : P ( )
Speaks in complete sentencse: NYP
Participates in discussion/converstions: NYP
Developmental Writing Continium Level : 3 (out of 5)
Identifies position and direction words: NYP
Reads and write numbers 0-20: P
Compares and orders numbers 0-20 : P
Counts to 100: NYP
Identifies and compares plane and solid figures: P
Uses ordinal numbers to the fifth: NYP
Counts sets of one to twenty objects: P

This is what they will be graded on in the next two trimesters:
Makes picture graphs and bar graphs
Estimates and measures length
Skip-counts by fives and tens to 100
Skip counts by twos to twenty
Adds sums to 10
Finds differences from 10
Identifies and names value of pennies, nickles and dimes
Tells time to the hour

soooo, not exactly coloring outside of the lines....

What age is your dc?
These expectations look really very high to me...

[gaialice]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius

the teacher seems to want me to "fix" the problem so she doesn't have to deal with it.

I totally understand. Like with my 4 yo, the teacher has lots of issues with her. I don't, because at home, I use playful parenting a lot with her. She seems to live in a parallel world of princesses and dragons and cats and godknows what else and I talk to her from inside of that world a lot. Like if she is a princess, I will say, "Your prince is waiting for you, better wash your teeth!"
I told the teacher what I do at home, and she says she can't do that in class. Well, I don't know what she can and cannot do... so she says, well if you did not do "playful parenting" at home, she'd do better in school :
I mean, I am doing something which works, she is doing something that doesn't and I need to start doing what she does? Hellooo?!

[Mizelenius]

udonandbroth, as a former KG teacher I agree with the pp . . .those are YEAR END standards where I taught. No one would be considered to be failing if they did not meet them in Nov. Heck, even in June if they weren't close to that they would not fail since it was against the policy (with good reason) to fail a KGer. I would love to know how/how often he was assessed, too.

flyingspaghettimama, I do volunteer (every 6 weeks)-- wish it could be more but I can't bring my other DD, and we have no childcare help. I have never noticed anything extreme about DD at home OR at school. She has her days and moments, but nothing I would consider out of the ordinary. And I agree, it was very inappropriate comment to make from the mom. Beats me why she said it.


1xmom, yes, she mentioned it once before but not as an ongoing issue. I also overheard her say it to several moms (about their DC) the same day (before the conference). I then saw those children (not my DD) have breakdowns while outside, so I assumed it was just a hard day for everyone.

gaialice (BTW, I have so much catching up with you to do! I owe you a long PM!) -- The teacher would be wise to listen to you vs. trying to get your DD to fit into her mold. I think she'd be surprised how much easier her day would be with ALL the children if she'd use some playful parenting.

Well, I've come to a certain peace with this all. I have thought-- do I want my DD to be passive (unless that were her nature)? To not express her feelings? No. I am glad she is confident and expressive and I do not want to try and change that--- it is who she is. I am continuing to help her channel her expressiveness into more constructive means, to problem solve. It is just something to work on. In the meantime, she has taken off with reading and writing-- getting to be very fluent with both-- so maybe that is where her growing has taken place.

[udonandbroth]

He is six. In our township, if you're not up to par by the end of the year the child spends half a day at the Kindergarten center (this weird system that they have here where all the K classes are together under one roof) and then they take a bus to their elementary school and spend the rest of the day in first grade.

[kewb]

My parent/teacher conferences went really well. Your kindergarten experience sounds horrid.