pooping his pants!

[Ishtarbella]

Does anyone have any advice,My just turned 5 years old poops in his pants and i dont know how to deal with it.Im trying to figure out whats bothering him.He finally was put on the potty about 4 months ago to poop,My husband had it with him still wearing diapers past 4 in a half.I was more relaxed figuring hed poop on the potty when he was ready .well for the past couple months hes pooped his pants .He never really felt comfortable i dont think pooping on the potty.He holds it for as long as he can ,i can tell ,he does this little dance thing and ill remind him or ask him if he wants me to go with him and he says no,hel will deny he has to go when i know he does then he'll poop his pants and then say it was an accident ,if i pick him up to go to the potty he'll fight with me and insisit he doesnt have to go.ive given him the choice between book and privacy,ive used all different kinds of pottys,ive told him how its not good for your body to hold it in ,im just at a loss on what to do..........i really am......i feel it would be not a good idea to let him wear diapers again now.i feelbad i dont know what its from is it because weve moved so much,also after sep 11 he was doing it alot,also i just weaned him a few days ago at 5,it could be so many things.he said he misses being 3 years old so perhaps it has to do with growing up,but how do i help him.............another thing is he said he saw something scary on TV ,some cartoon or something where some one got flushed ,i explained as much as i can that that dosent really happen.........maybe through play we can adress this?oh yah,for months he would pee on the potty but whenever he had to poop hed ask for a diaper so he knows when he has to go and can wait so its not that either.Thanks ,Esther

[lilyka]

HAve you had him checked out by a doctor? Was he poping normally when he was in diapers? Perhaps there is something wrong where he is having troble going or it hurts? I have heard that that could be caused by constipation ( A kid can't go, can't go and then some just gets squeezed out.) Have you tried one of those potties you squat over? This may be a more natuaral, cofortable position for him. Have you asked him why he doesn't li ke to poop on the potty? Maybe it is just too boring to sit htere and wait.

[Missgrl]

hhhmmmmm....I've been trying to think about what I did. My ds went pee pee in the potty months before he would go poopy and I felt frustrated so I can imagine how you feel right now. I'm thinking 5 is a little old so maybe checking with the doctor is a good place to start. It probably is just a mental thing for him that you just need to get to the bottom of. Do you have one of those potty seats that fit in the toilet so their little bottoms don't fall in? Or....try a baby potty and put it in the living room..or the place where he usually ends up going in his pants. Then he won't have to go far and it won't seem like such a chore.
How do you react when he goes in his pants? Do you get angry, upset, yell, or don't do anything at all? I remember telling my ds how sad I was when he would do it. That totally worked for me b/c of his personality and i knew it would only be a matter of time. Then the first time he did it on the potty we made such a happy deal about it that that was all it took for him to do it everytime.
Ohhh, just thought of something else? You mentioned moving around and the tv show that could be a fine reason to not do it. For me, it was a new baby in the house. Whenever my older ds would get in trouble for doing something mean to baby ds he would poop in his pants. Is there a new baby in the house?

[Myboysmom]

My middle son would urinate in the potty by the time he was 3 or so but required a diaper to poop in until well past 4. We tried not to make a big deal out of it but it drove us, his parents, CRAZY!!! What we finally did is say, fine, you may have a diaper but you have to clean yourself up afterwards. Of course we had to guide him in the process. That went on for several months. Eventually, he got tired of it and used the potty. And we had a party!

[Ishtarbella]

Thanks great Mamas for your replys!theres no new babies uin the house ,maybe just all the changes plus he never really wanted to poop on it anyway,Husband really insisted though!The party sounds like a great idea however me just making a big deal out of his potty use embarresed him and set him backwards,maybe i jus tdo need to take him to the doc since he could poop fine until he had to use the potty.Ive used every kind except i never heard of the squatting kind.I try not to get mad ,i try to be calm,i think he knows im concerned and all,because i try to ge tto the bottom of it calmly,ive expressed i was angry a few times when he lied and pretend he diidnt do it.I thought of really just letting him use the diapers just to see if he comes around on his own,i hate to see him constipate himself and all however my husband will have a fit so what good would that be.Im figuring he just really has some fear associated however i dont know how to take care of the problem.Thanks you all!

[lilyka]

The squtting potty is mad by baby bjorn and is about $10. It is really low to the ground and is all one piece. You just sorta quat over it. This is good dor kids like my dd who just normally assumes that position when she is pooping.

[Ishtarbella]

thanks Lilyka!Will check it out!

[Ishtarbella]

Now what do i do?Well i was looking for that potty and husband had a fit because he felt that we should jus tkeep him on the reg potty...........I asked him if he jus twanted to wear a diaper because i didint know what else to do,he just wont go and im afraid hes gonna get sick.when i was a kid i had to go to all these drs cuz iwas constipated so anyhow Husband threw a fit about that and ive ended up putting one on him anyway ............any other ideas,im looking all over the net.......

[Milo]

Just two more thoughts...sometimes chiropractic treatment can help improve constipation, and sometimes food sensitivities -often cow's milk/dairy can cause constipation/make it worse.