siblings sharing a room--need advice

[mamaley]

Here's our situation: My dh and I have 2.5 yo boy and are expecting our second child in Sept 2003. We're moving into a small 3 bedroom place (but larger than what we have now!! ). We know that the baby will sleep in our room for probably at least the first year, but we're wondering if we could get some advice from more experienced parents as we plan on how to use these rooms.

The first bedroom is very large, the second is a good size, but the third is absolutely tiny.

So, here are our options:
#1--dh and i (and computer) in bedroom 1, ds in br 2 and dc is br 3
#2--dh and i in br 2, kids in br 1 with their toys, etc, and computer in br 3
#3--dh and i in br 1, kids in br 2, toys, computer is br 3.
#4--feel free to add any other suggestions

Oh yeah, we don't know the sex of the new baby yet, but are (hopefully!) find out in a week.

From your experiences, which would work best? I know it probably depends a lot on personalities but I can't really plan that in advance (and I could always change it). I guess i'm most concerned with ds adjusting to sharing his space, and making the most of our space.
Any ideas? Please??

[mamaley]

Maybe I should just change this topic to the advantages/disadvantages of sibs sharing rooms, particularly a toddler/preschooler and a baby/small toddler (don't know when the new baby will even use the bedroom to sleep in, but also thinking about it in the sense that we'll store the baby's stuff in their room, etc).

[CerridwenLorelei]

Not sure what to say I have

three boys sharing one room right now
It will be another 12-24 months before we can move
they are 16,6 and 4.
If you have same sex I guess I would say the bigger room for the two of them for their toys/stuff/eventual beds etc

sorry I was not more help..

[Kirsten]

I think that given the option (and you do have it with three bedrooms) I would vote to have each child in his/her own room. 2 1/2 is a little young to really understand and reason with - sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. First thing I thought was that it could be easier on the sibling transition if ds had his own space, his own bed/toys somewhere that was just his. And maybe sleeping/awake sibs wouldn't bother each other as much in different rooms.
I don't think giving the computer its own room is a prudent use of space but I don't know if you or dh work from home either. If so, then maybe. The kids are really young now but I once heard (and it sure makes sense to me) that a computer should always be kept in a common downstairs space - like the family room. We have ours between the family room and the kitchen - kind of in the eating nook. This does a few things - you can watch over what they see online. A three year old on pbskids.org is probably perfectly safe but a nine year old surfing around could get to someplace he/she doesn't belong. Also, I heard it reduces problems for adults too - porn sites, singles ads, chat rooms, etc. are less likely to be issues if the computer is out in a common space than if it is behind a closed door in a bedroom somewhere. I know that is probably not an issue for most of us (hopefully....) but there is story after story of people making stupid choices when their marriage is in a tough spot.
Anyway, I vote you and dh in one room, ds in second room and dc in third. Babies really don't need all that much room - will probably mostly play downstairs with you during the day. When dc is bigger (three?) you can reevaluate.
Kirsten

[geekmom]

All my kids share rooms and probably always will. I don't think it makes a huge difference really. I know my friends who were trying to figure this out with similar aged kids have switched the room situation around many times. Try one way then if that doesn't work try another. Personally, I don't see any reason for the kids having their own rooms until they get quite a bit older. My boys love to have the company.

[chellemarie]

DS (the baby) sleeps with us and will for a long time. (don't tell Daddy, though.)

The older two, a boy and a girl, have shared a room since the girl was a baby and the boy was 3.5.

We're finishing our basement (slowly) and ds1 should have his own room to move into in a few months. I reallllllly doubt he'll move right away. Neither ds1 or dd like sleeping in their room when the other is away. If ds1 is at a sleepover, dd sleeps on my floor. If dd comes in to my room because of stormy weather, ds1 is likely to follow...not cuz he's afraid of weather, though. He doesn't want to be alone.

I like the idea of kids sharing rooms.

You guys take the big room, make the medium room a kids' room and put toys and stuff in the third one.

Bedrooms stay tidy, toy room door gets closed for company.

[mamawanabe]

I too like the idea of kids sharing rooms. It is one of the reasons I am so close to my brother. By age 9, my own room became important and so we converted the "playroom" (really the junk toy room) into a bedroom. I was 5 and he was 3 when we started sharing and there was never a problem. Before that I shared with my sister from when I was born and she was three until she was seven and graduated to her own space.

So I vote for # 3.

[Piglet68]

We would probably choose option 2

I like the idea of siblings sharing a room. I think our society is a little weird with this idea that every kid needs a room of their own. I shared a room with my brother for 12 years and it was great.

DH and I just bought a 2 bdrm condo. There is a 3rd room that could be used as a bedroom, but we'd rather make it a library/study/kids art projects area. We're hoping to have another child, and the two of them can share the 2nd bedroom. Maybe when they are teens they'll want separate rooms, but we figure we've got at least 10 years before that's an issue, lol!

[mamaley]

thanks!

I forgot to add that these places (they're student apartments) don't have central air, and the smallest bedroom doesn't have a window unit (but the rest do).

These suggestions have been really helpful. Kirsten, I never thought of putting the computer in the kitchen. I still think I'm liking the idea of the kids sharing a room though, especially since the smallest room doesn't have a window unit and we live in the south! And, I think it would good for the kids for the reasons others listed above.
I really like the idea of making the small room into a work/art room for the kids.

Any other suggestions would be great too!

[Mallory]

We have 3 rooms. We have a bed room (two full beds, all of us sleep there- me, dh, 2 yo ds, and 3 yo ds), one room with everyones toys and clothes (because with the two full beds no dressers fit in our bed room) and a sewing/ tool/ study room (but the computer is in the living room).

I also think kids should share rooms, and when my boys move out they will probably have the same room for a long time.

[becoming]

I like the idea of kids sharing a room, even same sex children while they're still young. I remember being so scared at nighttime up until I was nine or ten and wishing so badly that I had a sister (or even a brother) to share a room with. (My sister was six years older and would sooner have died than share a room with me.) Plus, it would be much more safe in case of fire, robbery, etc., because you could just go to one room, grab both kids, and get the heck out of there! (But I'm paranoid about things like that.)

My suggestion would be for you & DH to have Room #1, the boys to have Room #2, and Room #3 to be a computer/toy room. That way you can play on the computer while your boys play with toys during free play time. Plus, I don't like toys in the bedroom (or very many of them anyway), because I think it distracts from going to sleep, for older children.

[Cloverlove]

Ds (5) and dd (almost 2) just started sharing a room- they are even sharing a double bed. It is working great for us!

One idea could be use the big room as a playroom AND study, the kids sleep in the little room and you have the medium room. I do find it nice to have the computer close by the toys.

Oh...I just saw that there aren't any windows in the little room- probably not good as a bedroom then. Given that, I would consider which room is the brightest and most cheerful and use that as the playroom/bedroom.

Have Fun!

edit for confusing room mix-up!

[sadean]

Here is my take on the room sharing thing (and my bias ) :

I always shared a room with my sibs, until I was about 13. We even shared a double bed for most of that time. Then I was solo for two years, and was ok with not having company. Then I went away to boarding school and had a roomate for most of the next three years. Then I went to college and had a roomate for most of the next four years. Then I got married and had kids, so obviously I still have roomates I HATE sleeping alone (though I am capable of it).

My kids share a room and if I had my way, they would share a double bed (saves space over two twins). DH was an only boy-child (he has a sister), and never had to share a room. He is much more ambivilent about room sharing, but I have insisted. We have a three bedroom home, with rooms similar in size to yours it sounds like. Dh and I (and ds#2 in the early mornings) share the big bedroom. The kids beds, clothes and most toys are in the middle sized room and we have a roomate that has the third small bedroom. The computer is in the dining room. Having all the kid stuff in one room has allowed for clutter control (somewhat : ). The older one gets annoyed that the little one gets into his toys, but I believe that kids have to learn how to figure out and resolve issues themselves (with my assistance) and sharing a room is great practce in diplomacy, sharing and conflict resolution.