Tell me about life with FEW toys....

[CurlyTop]

Hi! I would like to weed through my four-year-old twins' toys and donate the majority of them. DH is concerned that I'm being too minimalist and they won't have enough toys. The girls are already leery of me giving away their toys because I did it when they were small and I thought they were too young to notice. They still ask me when that little girl who took their toy kitchen is going to give it back I gave it away because all they ever did with it was dump out all the dishes, toy food, all over the floor and then leave it there.

Now I ask them to help make room for new toys from Santa, and they go through each toy finding new joy in each one and just can't part with it.

Tell me about life with few toys. Are your kids bored? Do they actually play with their toys?

Here are some things they have:

- Step2 slide (the big one with a little cave underneath) - it is so space consuming, and they do stand on it sometimes, and play on it when friends come over.

- Wooden "melissa & greg" dollhouse with piles of dolls. I got this so inexpensively on craigslist that I couldn't resist but they rarely play with it

- Books, books, books! Four shelves full of books from board books to chapter books passed down by cousins. They still like board books, and I know they'll eventually get into chapter books.

- Picnic basket/tea sets which they got when they were too young and broke some of the pieces

- Construction worker set

- three different plastic train sets

- Dress up clothes (tons)

- Stuffed animals (tons)

- Musical instruments

- Board games

- too many backpacks

What would you get rid of?

[Ravin]

What would I get rid of?

-The slide would find a new home outside

-The doll house would go into storage in the garage for a while. They may be more into it in a year or two.

-Any books that talk, that have torn bits out of them, that have been through the washing machine or the bathtub, that are based on licensed movie or TV characters, or that are so badly written you shudder to read it YET AGAIN, should go.

-Any broken stuff from the picnic baskets/tea sets. Assemble one set with 2 settings from the remnants and send the rest to goodwill or put it in the garage against future breakage.

-Stuffed animals: limit one per species, except if they have a particular kind they collect (My sisters had koalas and raccoons respectively, DD had frogs), in which case set a limit for total number or volume of stufties (we do number because they are stored on a chain with clips--DD can only have as many as can clip on). Any not particularly loved can go in a trash bag in storage for 6 months. If asked for, can be rotated out. If not, give away after 1 yr. in storage.

-If they like the trains and play with them, keep one set with 2 trains and the rest can go.

-Weed the dress-up clothes. Any of it too small? Never used? Make it all fit in a designated storage spot.

-Musical instruments: Any that grate on your nerves or don't get played with, can go.

-Board games: Ones they can play together, rotate them in and out of a closet, just a couple at a time. The rest keep out of reach where they can't be made a mess. Those they can play with adults, keep in a game closet to be asked for but not gotten out themselves. Pay attention to which ones they love and which ones they don't. If they've outgrown one, or just don't like it, it can go.

-Backpacks: 1 per child. Why would they need more?

[TwinMom]

These are great ideas! I am in need of some weeding out, too, but my dh thinks that the more toys there are, the better.

I would suggest that there be more than two trains, though. We have a train table and when friends are over, if everyone doesn't have a train to move around, things can get hairy!

[mommajb]

Because we homeschool I used to think I had to provide them with *all* types of toys. Even though they do not have a group school environment to play in they do have friends homes and all their toys are very exciting when we visit. My friends and I think of it as a toy co-op. So you could also part with things you know they get to play with someplace else.

Reducing the size of collections is another good one. Too much of a good thing can end up being such a mess that some children (like my 3 year old) cannot sort it out enough to play with it.

I also really try to keep toys to a minimum by working on the incoming toys. We wait and see if we still want it later (the next trip to the store which is not frequent or after a certain amount of time has passed). Before I make a purchase I think about what it is likely to happen with the toy in our home, where it will go, how they will most likely play with it, and how long it will be before I want to permanently rotate it out. Also, we do not make unplanned purchases (at least that is the goal). We have to know what our money is going for before we leave the house. It doesn't help you with the current toys but I do find less is coming in and the kiddos learn to think about these things themselves. Now to work on the grandparents.

Good luck.

[ananas]

I think the slide would go outside, if it were me. They might be a little young for a dollhouse, but eventually, I think they will enjoy it, so maybe put in storage?

The books I would keep. You can never have enough books around, IMO. They might not read them yet, but I bet they'd enjoy having them read to them. Is there a reason for the backpacks? If not, I'd have them each pick a favorite and then find homes for the rest.

[wednesday]

Can you pack some things away for a while? I rotate toys back and forth over to the grandparents' house. They live in our town and we see them at least once a week, so if something ends up over there that DS dearly wants back at home, he just brings it back. But mostly things stay there when I take them over, and after a while I pack them away (if they're outgrown) or donate/consign if they just turned out to not ever be played with much. You can do more or less the same thing just by packing less-played-with toys into a box in the garage or a closet.

[Rio Mama]

The toys were taking over our house, so I've packed them into containers. Every Friday, my son gets to choose allowance or toys from the containers. He usually reclaims 20 or 30 toys (based on a positive-reinforcement behavior chart). If the toys get left out in the common areas when he's not using them (& I become irritated at their presence), they go back in the bins. If he puts them away in his room, he keeps 'em indefinitely.

He's managed to take really good care of his trains and tracks. It's very interesting to see which toys he actually prefers. The stress factor of giving them away to another child is removed b/c he knows that they're just in storage & he can reclaim them with his star chart. It's reduced my stress a great deal and really helped me remember not to load him down with junk when we're at the store.

[loni1090]

I would definately store the dollhouse until they get a little older.
Do you have any room for the slide outside? If not I would sell it on craigslist because ppl are looking for indoor slides for the winter.

[Mizelenius]

I don't know if we have a lot of toys. By some people's standards we do, but I know that the toys we have out vary in age from birth to age 6, so we have some for each age. In any case, it rarely takes me longer than 15 minutes to clean up the toys in the playroom at the end of the day.

I agree with the pp that said you can never have enough books. Unless the book is completely falling apart, I don't get rid of it (and even then, I usually just tape it back up). We have books in almost every room of the house for the DC (minus the kitchen) and I think it has helped both of them love to read. They see it as part of play, part of life. Do you have places in your house where they can hang out and read and be read to, right by the books? Re: the chapter books, if the subject matter is appropriate, you might try reading these out loud now. My DD was also born in '02 and she loves chapter books, so they might not be too young.

What I would do before getting rid of anything is to see how the set-up in your house for toys is working. For example, with the dollhouse, I wouldn't leave the piles of dolls out. I'd fix it up nicely so that it is organized and put the rest of the dolls/furniture away to rotate. Are the dress up clothes organized or just in a pile? Can the DC hang these up themselves? Same goes for the stuffed animals . . .can they find what they want easily or do they have to tear the room apart? In other words, are the toys and such easy to put away and take out? Does the play space look inviting or overwhelming? Do things make sense? (Art supplies by a table, books by a soft area to sit, etc.)

Before you get rid of anything, just put things away. That way you won't be making a commitment one way or another.

I have pretty much stopped buying toys except for birthdays and Christmas, with just a few occasional "just because" purchases. So far, no one has expressed feeling deprived . . .it is actually easier because then there is no expectation (or disappointment) when we go to the store.

[oldgirl,newtricks]

See how we would all do this differently? All of those books would be the first thing I would get gone! I view books as consumables and except for the very few they like read over and over, once is enough. I guess that's why I prefer just checking out a few each week at the library.

The stuffed animals would be history. The climbing thing would go outside. Backpacks gone. What do they play with? Really? I know my kids love the dress up clothing, but ours fits in a laundry basket. Mine don't play with our trains at all.

I don't think any of us can tell you exactly what to get rid of, but the fact you have "tons" means it's probably too much.

[solareyna]

When I left my stbx, I took it as a great opportunity to weed out toys. Ds (3.5) has a small three drawer toy chest. The top drawer holds a couple little cars and one electonic car. The middle drawer has a couple puzzles and electronic learning games. The bottom drawer has train tracks for his Thomas set. Then he has a laundry basket full of books. He has three stuffed animals on his bed. He doesn't miss his old toys at all, never asks where they are and never has a hard time finding something to play with. I love the fact that everything has its place and he can always find what he is looking for. I say minimizing is great for us...

[lucyem]

My aunt used to have her children donate a toy (or more) each Christmas to charities. She was always helping various charities and this was one way she got her children involved.

I generally weed out broken toys and ripped books. My son knows if its broken it goes. I also rotate. Putting some unused ones away for a rainy day. Every now and then a toy will drive me nuts and those have a tendency to "dissapear".

[Mamatohaleybug]

Originally Posted by Ravin

What would I get rid of?

-The slide would find a new home outside

-The doll house would go into storage in the garage for a while. They may be more into it in a year or two.

-Any books that talk, that have torn bits out of them, that have been through the washing machine or the bathtub, that are based on licensed movie or TV characters, or that are so badly written you shudder to read it YET AGAIN, should go.

-Any broken stuff from the picnic baskets/tea sets. Assemble one set with 2 settings from the remnants and send the rest to goodwill or put it in the garage against future breakage.

-Stuffed animals: limit one per species, except if they have a particular kind they collect (My sisters had koalas and raccoons respectively, DD had frogs), in which case set a limit for total number or volume of stufties (we do number because they are stored on a chain with clips--DD can only have as many as can clip on). Any not particularly loved can go in a trash bag in storage for 6 months. If asked for, can be rotated out. If not, give away after 1 yr. in storage.

-If they like the trains and play with them, keep one set with 2 trains and the rest can go.

-Weed the dress-up clothes. Any of it too small? Never used? Make it all fit in a designated storage spot.

-Musical instruments: Any that grate on your nerves or don't get played with, can go.

-Board games: Ones they can play together, rotate them in and out of a closet, just a couple at a time. The rest keep out of reach where they can't be made a mess. Those they can play with adults, keep in a game closet to be asked for but not gotten out themselves. Pay attention to which ones they love and which ones they don't. If they've outgrown one, or just don't like it, it can go.

-Backpacks: 1 per child. Why would they need more?

Ditto!! Ravin and I think alike. I have pared down the toys in our house and we are all just as happy.

At least 2x a year I go through them and weed out what she doesn't play with. I let my DD help but I have final say. She is often happy to give her things to another child but if it upsets her I usually leave it for her. A few months later she's ready to send it on.

If you have books that are not age appropriate, either save them for another baby or save them for when they are older. I have a box of books in storage for babies and a box for older children. I don't need them out right now but I do want to keep them.

I also wanted to add that organization is key. My DD is allowed to keep some toys in her room on our main level, some in my office on the third level and most of them in the playroom/family room on the lower level. Everything is organized and put away.

If you really aren't sure about something, pack it away in storage. We did that with our Little People sets and now she thinks it's a treat to get them out when I'm working sometimes.

If the toys and books you choose to get rid of are in good condition, please consider sending them to a family in need here at MDC (see link in my siggy). That's what we do and it feels so good!

Good luck!

[mommajb]

We would do it all differently.

I would get rid of anything that causes fighting and bad attitudes (but my kids know this so there is a lifetime of warnings and experience here) I would also weed out anything that is broken, missing parts, exceptionally irritating, battery operated, noisy, flashing,.... I admit I tend to keep the toys I like and want to see them play with.

The helpful hint for me is organization. If everybody knows where to find it when they want it and where it goes when they are done it might be the right amount of toys for us. We do all have different standards concerning space use and organization.

My 4 children range in age from 1 to 10 so we have toys for many ages. The collection grows amazingly quickly when the grandparents visit. I am always surpised that it is not a one-time cleaning out but that I have to work to stay on top of it all the time. Now if they would just figure out that the youngest probably has plenty of appropriate toys and books....

[amamaslove]

I love getting rid of stuff. I am addicted to it actually!

Something I find useful is removing everything from where you store it. For example when I open the board game closet I may not find anything to get rid off because they all fit and it looks neat. BUT, if I empty the closet and handle each game before putting it back in; checking for missing pieces, broken parts etc., I much more likely to find a few to get rid off.

Also, my children and I have different ideas. So, I might ask them to make a pile of things to get rid off. It makes me look at items that *I* am attached to differently.

I do not get rid of their things without their permission. My son was once going to bed with a new toy that his gma had given him. I suggested he leave it on his night table and he told me that sometimes his toys disappear. I thought he didn't notice... So, I may store something away but I always ask permission before donating something.

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by oldgirl,newtricks

See how we would all do this differently? All of those books would be the first thing I would get gone! I view books as consumables and except for the very few they like read over and over, once is enough. I guess that's why I prefer just checking out a few each week at the library.

You are so right about us all being different! I am just the opposite. My girls re-read most of their books-- I think that is how older DD learned how to read-- and I love having the right book for the right occasion. However, I also agree that library books are priceless. I have stopped buying books (other than a 1x a year library sale) for the most part and we all love the trips to the library. At ours you can check out stuffed animal puppets in addition to games, music, movies, and of course, books . . .and I LOVE being able to return them-- all for free.

[heket]

Originally Posted by Mamatohaleybug

If the toys and books you choose to get rid of are in good condition, please consider sending them to a family in need here at MDC (see link in my siggy). That's what we do and it feels so good!

Just wanted to reiterate this for all reading the thread.

[BurgundyElephant]

Haven't read all the replies. I'd recommend only keeping a stuffed animal if they truly love it (my DD#2 has her "Po" doll, for instance.) Get rid of the rest. They're bad for allergies and dust.

[beanma]

i just want to reiterate what some of the other mamas have said about setting aside and storing toys that you have picked to donate. i think that has really helped my dds. the idea of giving toys away is scary sometimes, but the idea of putting them in storage and getting them back out if "needed" makes it not so scary. we told the girls that if they didn't want the toys in a set amount of time then we would donate them. they haven't asked for them so we really need to get them off to the thrift store. if your child can handle it having them actually pick out a toy that they don't like and want to donate can be great. we donated some toys after hurricane katrina and i think they liked that. it is very hard for them to part with things, though, and generally they do play with almost everything they've got.

in your case i would do pretty much what ravin outlined, with the exceptions of the dollhouse and stuffed animals. with the dollhouse i'd try rearranging it myself and maybe moving it to a new location. it might need to be on a small table so it's easier to play with or just in another spot. my 2003 baby likes dollhouses so i don't think your little ones are too young. i've been thinking i need to set ours up better. i'm afraid the furniture is just a bit tossed about in it.

with the stuffed animals i would just weed through and store the ones they don't play with. my girls love their stuffed animals and play with most of them. i really do need to do a big toy weed before christmas.

[koru]

i KNOW we have too many toys & i can't stop people from bringing crap into our house!!!! my mil brings something for both my girls everytime they come. i've repeately asked her not to but she can't resist. it's usually something small but i don't want anything else.

i've been consciously going through our stuff & keeping only the things that promote imagination & creativity. (it's a hard call sometimes). we have big legos, blocks, a doll house that my girls adore & play with constantly, a train table, baby dolls with various outfits (these get a lot of playtime, too), tons of books (that end up all over the floor but they will look at them independently for quite a while), the little people's noah's ark, and tons of little instruments. ok...this is not everything but i'm working my way down to only these as soon as my husband stops peeking over my shoulder asking what i'm doing. he's a bit of a pack rat & can't bear to see anything go.

and christmas is right around the corner! yikes!!!!