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Can I throw a pity party ?  

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Can I throw myself a pity party here ?

First off, I'm bitchy - I *so* desperately wanted some kind of baby shower type thing this time around, as I've not had one yet. But I guess you need friends for that, right ? Real-life ones I mean. And since I apparently have none, no baby blessing / shower / acknowledgment at all. Or maybe some family that cares, and lives close enough. Or maybe that's just asking too much because it's my third child in 5 years - even though there hasn't been a shower or blessing yet.

Second, I'm tired of lugging a 40-lb kid around. He's 4. But with a broken leg, he needs more hefting about than typical. Needs help on and off the toilet, help to balance while washing his hands, stuff like that. Not as bad now as it was at first, but it's tiring.

Third, BOTH kids are sick with colds. DS has a fever - hit a high of 104.7 yesterday, and I actually caved and gave him some Tylenol so he could sleep because he was SO restless. He's coughing, and even a cough suppressant isn't helping that. DD is also coughing - but her is that nasty, junky, wet cough. My hands are so dry they're bleeding from all the extra washing I have to do with blowing noses and such.

Fourth - now *I* am sick too. Cough, congested, my sinus' are so full they hurt, my nose is running constantly, and my face and head hurt. Tylenol helps a little, but not much.
post #2 of 23
Oh I am so sorry... I am sick with a cold too... I can deal with being pregnant, but the cold is kicking my butt! So glad I am only 36 weeks, not ready to have a baby right now. Your household will smooth itself out soon! Then you will have a new baby to lug around (gladly!) not a 40 lb. big boy.
Hugs!
post #3 of 23
: They won't be sick forever....hang in there! Hope you start to feel better soon!
post #4 of 23
Can I join?
I woke up this morning thinking maybe baby was coming today. Nope! I have the flu. Funny how the flu and labor can be so similar. I spent the morning with cramps, contractions and "the runs". Then, it turned to vomit. At least once I vomited I felt a bit better. So, I've spent all day in bed (and in the bathroom). I haven't eaten anything but a few crackers. I did manage to have some broth from the soup my dh made. Feeling a little better tonight. My midwife is out of town for a day or two longer. I like the back-up, but hope this baby sticks at least through the weekend...
post #5 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TattooedMama View Post
Oh I am so sorry... I am sick with a cold too... I can deal with being pregnant, but the cold is kicking my butt! So glad I am only 36 weeks, not ready to have a baby right now. Your household will smooth itself out soon! Then you will have a new baby to lug around (gladly!) not a 40 lb. big boy.
Hugs!
DS's cast isn't due to come off until the day AFTER my "official" due date. I'll be lugging both him AND a newborn around while chasing my 2-yr old !

Quote:
Originally Posted by roomformore View Post
Can I join?
I woke up this morning thinking maybe baby was coming today. Nope! I have the flu. Funny how the flu and labor can be so similar. I spent the morning with cramps, contractions and "the runs". Then, it turned to vomit. At least once I vomited I felt a bit better. So, I've spent all day in bed (and in the bathroom). I haven't eaten anything but a few crackers. I did manage to have some broth from the soup my dh made. Feeling a little better tonight. My midwife is out of town for a day or two longer. I like the back-up, but hope this baby sticks at least through the weekend...
Ick - I hope you feel better soon. I've been puking too, but it's from having a hair-trigger gag reflex, a snotty 2-yr old nose, and a lot of nasal drainage myself lately. Not fun, but better than a stomach bug.
post #6 of 23


You are far from being "bitchy" with so much happening right now. : Hang in there. Sending you lots of get-well vibes...
post #7 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizaBear View Post
Fourth - now *I* am sick too. Cough, congested, my sinus' are so full they hurt, my nose is running constantly, and my face and head hurt. Tylenol helps a little, but not much.
Lizabear-
I'm right there with you on this one! It started last night with a sore throat (as all my colds / sinus infections start, it's how I know I'm getting one), and now it's to the point that my head feels like it's going to implode/explode or both, my throat doesn't hurt anymore, thank GOD, but my nose is CONSTANTLY running, and now is getting raw from me blowing so much. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap this afternoon, and when I woke up, it didn't even seem like I slept! I'm just drained out and DH doesn't understand why I'm being so lazy! I snapped at him today and said "It's because I'm carrying around your unborn child PLUS I feel like absolute hell so get off my back about it or you try getting pregnant PLUS dealing with the cleaning and watching after our 2 1/2 year old". He didn't like that idea to much so he shut his mouth, as he should! I've been trying to drink lots of regular Liptons tea with honey, so hopefully that should help some! Get some rest mama, if you can, and know that you aren't alone! I'm right there, suffering with you!
post #8 of 23


I'm sorry you're going through this Liza! I seriously seriously honestly do to all mamas who are pregnant with little ones, and to have a little one in a cast!!!! ! !!!!!!

My baby shower was a flop. The only people who showed up were my husband's parents, his grandma and aunt. I did have one friend manage to make it into town, but... well I had planned a big PARTY. But yeah, you need real life friends for that, and apparently I'm having a shortage of them right now. It is so depressing. Both my parents are passed away, and I miss them SO MUCH now. I keep thinking how my mom would be going nuts making baby blankets and assorted "baby" things, and my dad would be glowing, so proud and happy. I miss them! My husband's parents... *sigh*... get on my nerves, and they are just not demonstrative, at least not with me.

It doesn't feel right to not have... SOMEONE... just really fussing over you and glowing with excitement FOR you, does it????? I really really wish I had that too!

My husbands aunt showed up with no gift, and announced to everyone that she didn't think they needed to give us a gift as they got us a wedding gift. Now it was a rather large wedding gift, but come on. A $10 baby toy isn't unreasonable is it??!?! (Money is not an issue for these people!) Plus, just... what a WIERD thing to say. I would not even have noticed if she hadn't said anything!

My brother, sister-in-law, and three nieces couldn't even be bothered to come.

Anyways. I cannot be there with you with the two little ones right now, but I am totally there with you regarding having real life, local friends. The Internet makes it so easy to socialize at a distance which is GREAT sometimes, and other times... flustrating. I have been getting all over yahoo groups trying to find local moms to network with as I'm really getting desperate here... have you tried that? Also your local "Finding your tribe" thing might yield some local connections. I wish you weren't so far away, I'd rush right over to help with your little ones and make much of both our big bellies!
post #9 of 23
LizaBear, you deserve a pity party, so party away. My kids are difficult enough to handle, I can't imagine if one of them were in a cast. And I'm just getting over a cold that kicked my butt. Is it just me or do they seem worse when your pregnant? Anyhow, so many mama's here deserve a little pity party so...
post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettypixels View Post
My baby shower was a flop. The only people who showed up were my husband's parents, his grandma and aunt. I did have one friend manage to make it into town, but... well I had planned a big PARTY. But yeah, you need real life friends for that, and apparently I'm having a shortage of them right now. It is so depressing.
I think, though I'm not so sure, that I'd rather have "no" party than one that was a total flop. As for the comment from your hubby's aunt - that was just RUDE.



Quote:
Originally Posted by cornflower_3
LizaBear, you deserve a pity party, so party away. My kids are difficult enough to handle, I can't imagine if one of them were in a cast. And I'm just getting over a cold that kicked my butt. Is it just me or do they seem worse when your pregnant? Anyhow, so many mama's here deserve a little pity party so..
The cold is worse for me because it feels that I can take NOTHING to help myself. Vit. C and Echinachea only go so far, ya know - and do nothing to help let me sleep
post #11 of 23
Liza... yeah, I was totally depressed afterwards, it took my husband forever to cheer me back up! And yes, his aunt is *verrrrrry* wierd. Actually his whole family is kind of wierd. : Like his mom telling me that if I don't expose the baby to cigarette smoke when she is young, she might develop an allergy to it! : Needless to say these folks are not very helpful with baby advice!

They must've done something right as my husband is amazing, but I'm darned if I want to try to figure it out!

I have just gotten over a cold too... yuck! It must be going around, I can't believe how many mamas posted saying they had a cold recently! I still feel like my sinuses are full of toxic waste, eyeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! Luckily it didn't seem to take long for the worst of it to get out of my system.

Anyways, I hope you feel better fast fast fast and hope your little guy is out of his cast ASAP!!!!
post #12 of 23
I've been feeling rather sorry for myself as well since no one in my family has offered to buy anything for the baby. I understand how you feel.

I hope all yoru family is feeling better soon mama.
post #13 of 23
I was kind of down today, too. I wanted to trim my toes nails and couldn't reach, my feet were cold and I was just not wanting to be pregnant anymore! I'm 36 weeks today--maybe that's why.

I have a 36 week wall that I seem to hit.

I feel better now and will just take it easy tomorrow, but I have this sniffle, too.

I need to find a good book to read--something easy and ligt and a bit trashy, i think. And more icecream.
post #14 of 23
Hugs mama
post #15 of 23
Mama, I have been following what is going on in your life. I hope you find some space to rest and feel better, and to get to a better space that will let the baby start getting ready to come.

ND
post #16 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naughty Dingo View Post
Mama, I have been following what is going on in your life. I hope you find some space to rest and feel better, and to get to a better space that will let the baby start getting ready to come.

ND

Soon, I'm sure.

This cold cannot last forever in any of us - and Boo's casted leg is seeming more and more normal to us every day as he finds new ways to maneuver himself around.

I actually had a fairly lengthy chat with one of my very few IRL girlfriends this morning - which was so utterly refreshing to do. We're both very busy SAHM's - she's got 3 children just a tiny bit older than my kids, and lives a city over, so I don't see her often. She understands exactly what I meant about being disappointed to not have gotten a shower - that it's not about "gifts" or "stuff", but about the commiseration and camaraderie of fellow women, fellow moms.
post #17 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizaBear View Post
...disappointed to not have gotten a shower - that it's not about "gifts" or "stuff", but about the commiseration and camaraderie of fellow women, fellow moms.
Ahhhh...you are so right on this one. This is my first baby, so I bought quite a bit of "stuff', including everything I would have wanted had I had a shower. I am not having a shower either and feel a bit of disappointment.

My close friends who are 40 (as I am) either have older children or have no children at all in addition to having very busy careers or having moved out of the area over the years.

Instead, I will be having a small party after the baby arrives, possibly when she's a month old.
post #18 of 23
Thread Starter 
I got an IM at lunchtime today from one of the very few true IRL friends I have.

She'd read my blog post about missing having a baby shower, we'd talked yesterday about how my feelings weren't at all about the *stuff* part of a shower, but of just really missing out on the feeling of camaraderie with fellow women, fellow moms especially lately.

Well - she IM'd today asking what I was doing on Wednesday night. I've got an appointment with my chiro, then have an hour long massage booked.

She and my other friend are going to pick me up from my massage so we can all go to dinner together !! A real mom's night out.

:
post #19 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizaBear View Post
I got an IM at lunchtime today from one of the very few true IRL friends I have.

She'd read my blog post about missing having a baby shower, we'd talked yesterday about how my feelings weren't at all about the *stuff* part of a shower, but of just really missing out on the feeling of camaraderie with fellow women, fellow moms especially lately.

Well - she IM'd today asking what I was doing on Wednesday night. I've got an appointment with my chiro, then have an hour long massage booked.

She and my other friend are going to pick me up from my massage so we can all go to dinner together !! A real mom's night out.

:
That's great! You deserve it! Have a wonderful time...
post #20 of 23
LizaBear that sounds amazing, I know you deserve to go out with your momies-friends! Get some pics!!

An hour long massage!! NICE!
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