Originally Posted by sparklefairy
I like to say that breastfeeding facilitates bonding.
I agree. it CAN help bonding, but doesn't always. With my first child, we were miserable. for 10 days he did nothing but scream and nurse constantly. he was losing weight. I had a lot of issues nursing him (besides no milk due to my PCOS) that included past sexual abuse and not being able to emotionally stand nursing him. I just couldn't do it. I got to where I could not even look at him when he whimpered and wanted to nurse again....if I did, I would start to vomit. It was horrible. I actually felt like I hated him. do you know what that feels like as a mother to hate your own child? it was the worst feeling in the world.
but I kept trying. I knew it was best for him. finally one day at my moms work as I was sobbing and she was holding him, she told me "jessica, it is ok NOT to breastfeed-you are not a horrible mother" and I went to the store and got formula and bottles....he was content from then on.
so yes, when we finally put him on the bottle, and he was able to eat-we did finally bond. (It is good that I did put him on-because as we later found out, I have PCOS and I am one of those cursed with a non-existent milk supply. It is only now after so many pregnancies and having more glandular tissue and having my levels in order that I was able to produce milk)
I bottle fed my first 4 kids. with the 5th, I was on a breast/bottle debate board and we learned about the lactaid and learned that I could try nursing again.....by then I did have some milk-not enough, but we were able to BF and supplement with formula through the lactaid and bottles. I did whatever I could to get it to work. we only lasted 6 weeks, but I was so proud of myself for overcoming that first situation and being able to do it again.
With the 6th child, we tried BF again. It took me 6 months of supplementing, but I finally was able to meet her needs. and now she is 2 1/2 years old and still nursing. It amazes me.
Do I feel any more bonded to the ones that I did BF?? no. Of course, I am closer to the baby now just because she is still "the baby" but I dont' love her any more than the others.
|The thing about breastfeeding is that it requires physical contact. Even if eye contact isn't being made, mother and baby are communicating physically. It's possible to prop a bottle and feed in isolation, but not a breast.
just because you are breastfeeding doesn't mean you are doing any more than putting the breast in their mouth to feed them. there are mothers that latch on and do other things- type at the keyboard, read a book etc....there is no real interaction going on there. just as a non-bottle propping mom is still having interaction with her child while she gives the bottle. I know when I FF....I was still talking to them, kissing their toes/hands...looking in there eyes.
FF does not automatically equal no interaction
BF does not automatically equal interaction
I think that interaction is based on the parent alone. not the feeding method.
I hope that made sense--it gets hard to talk about what I went through with my first child and trying to bf him-and that makes everything else I type at the same time come out wrong somehow.