Your Boy: What is his teacher doing right/wrong?

[CurlyTop]

I'm changing careers to be an elementary (K-5) school teacher. Parents of boys often tell me that boys are different from girls. I've heard that boys are not taught in ways that work for them - in other words, that teachers' methods naurally work well for girls but not boys. I met a mother of twin 10-yo boys who homeschools them because of all the negative attention they were getting for just being active, curious (aka, disruptive) boys.

My working theory is that boys and girls have some genetic differences, and that society magnifies those differences to extremes by encouraging girls to be quiet and obedient, and boys to be rough-and-tumble. However, this theory is getting holes punched in it by the schools insisting that boys be quiet and obedient.

So, if you have boys in elementary school, what do you want me to know before I start teaching my own classroom? What do you wish your sons' teachers would have done more of, and what should they have done less of?

Thank you in advance!

[A&A]

Start by reading The Minds of Boys. It pretty much says everything I'd like my boy's teachers to know.

[CurlyTop]

Originally Posted by A&A

Start by reading The Minds of Boys. It pretty much says everything I'd like my boy's teachers to know.

Great! My library has it and I'll get it today.

If you had to summarize in three bold points, what would you say?

Thanks for your time ....

[arwenevenstar]

Originally Posted by A&A

Start by reading The Minds of Boys. It pretty much says everything I'd like my boy's teachers to know.

I was going to say exactly the same thing!!! Excellent book!! Also read or watch Raising Cain, which isn't directly about teaching but does give some insight as to the difference with boys.

I think:
1. Light airy classrooms with space to move around,
2.time for recess and the allowance of "rough and tumble" during this time,
3. kinaesthetic style learning as more of a priority, so lots of hands on practical activities and less behind a desk chalk and talk.

[maatmama]

My ds is in a kindergarten class with 17 other boys (only 6 girls). At first I was worried, but she is truly a masterful teacher of little ones! She is constantly varying activities but yet it all looks and feels seamless, well planned and fun. She doesn't allow the boys to dominate the class discussions and they all feel included and love her class. She has a definite rhythm to her class day with ebbs and flows of energy and down time (I was nervous about the afternoon quiet time, but all of the boys seem to look forward to it, some even fall asleep). I think that with boys (and each child is an individual regardless of gender) generally you have to be able to plan or recognize when their energy needs to be redirected (I do that and I teach
7th graders) or extended....

[LauraLoo]

Here are a couple more resources:

http://www.newgendergap.com/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10965522/site/newsweek/

[wildmonkeys]

Though it is important to focus on the gender differences, I think the most important thing to remember is that boys & girls also differ from each other. My 1rst grade son doesn't really fit the "boy mold" in many ways and my friends dd is very much "boy like" She has a harder time sitting still, concentrating and is much more physical than my son has ever been. My son loves to sit quietly and often goes into his own little quiet world.

I guess the one thing I have noticed is how sensitive my son is, but how much less he seems to demand attention for his feelings than some of his female playmates. If someone hurts his feelings or does something unkind to him, he really absords it rather than tattling or crying; however, this may point to an individual difference as he is very much like my ds in that way and my second son never passes on an opportunity to tell us what is bothering him I guess, boy or girl I would point to checking-in with the really quiet kids --- sometimes the ones complaining the loudest aren't the most upset, ykwim?

BJ
Barney & Ben

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys

I would point to checking-in with the really quiet kids --- sometimes the ones complaining the loudest aren't the most upset, ykwim?

I resonated with your reply. My ds and dd are the same way - switched almost in many aspects for typical boys and girls.

I think that it might even be more difficult for girls who display more male tendencies and vice versa because it isn't your typical situation in school. I think the bottom line is that teachers really need to understand that regardless of boy or girl, all children have their unique personalities and learning styles. Becoming rigid in teaching methods that only reach and reward one type of learning style doesn't do many kids any good - and can even cause long term harm to self-esteem.

[megincl]

Wow! You are amazing for asking this. As a former teacher, now working on a doctorate in education WHILE searching for a school for my 3.5 yo boy, somehow this question brought tears to my eyes (ok, I'm sick, he's sick, but really). Just by asking, I know you will be an amazing teacher.

Off the top of my head, and I'll be back to edit with more:
Read anything and everything by Nancy Carlsson Paige. She writes about violence and children and their writing, their play, etc. The insights are amazing (and she happens to be local to me AND Matt Damon's mom -- cool!).

Think about ways to have movement in your class. Use dancing and singing, look for the strengths of those boys, be they in gardening or constructing things, or doing puzzles, or knitting. Then nurture them and teach from them.

And be open to their passions, and those of the girls too. I think that schools really get off track when they listen to politicians' desires and not to kids' passions, and if the latter drove our teaching more, kids would be happier and learn more.

Thank you for thinking about this so carefully,
megin

[annettemarie]

Michael's teacher this year is just amazing, but I think the biggest help is something completely out of her control--there are only 18 kids in the class.

Other things she does

--she has them get up, sing, exercise, "swim" with their arms crossing the midline to get drinks, etc between lessons

--she breaks up lessons into chunks. So instead of an hour-long math lesson, she'll do 15 minutes here or there.

--she's not afraid of noise. She let's them socialize and work cooperatively.

--they have what she calls a "soft landing" to start their day. They come in, unpack their bags, chat, give her news, grab their morning paper, and work on it either individually or in small groups.

--she follows their rabbit trails. One morning when I was volunteering, they were working on a hundreds/tens/one mat with manipulatives. Morning announcements came and went, and ended with "have a fantastic Friday." They thought the alliteration was funny and ended up discussing alliteration and each wrote an alliterative phrase on their math paper. I just thought it was cool.

--centers include things like legos and painting.

I think this is a beautiful question to be asking, btw.

[mommy68]

My oldest is in 5th this year. The one and only thing I don't like about his teacher (she's a great teacher) is that she obviously favors the girls over the boys. The girls always get to go to the office and around the school for errands and they always get chosen for specials in the class first. He tells me about it all the time. It irks me but what can I do. She's a great teacher so far other than that.

I'd say that any teacher than can get by without favoring one sex over the other would be a good one in my book, because the kids DO notice such things.

[LauraLoo]

While I am still thinking about your post, I'd also like to add some other things - such as exploring brain based learning - right brain (visual spatial) and left brained (auditory sequential.) Definite differences on how material is absorbed.

Also - consider familiarizing yourself with look-alike symptoms of bigger issues such as autism and ADHD. A really good site for these is:

www.mislabeledchild.com

and another www.neurolearning.com

I really wish that my ds' teacher had been more informed on differences of learning styles and didn't feel the need to pathologize my ds' unique way of taking in the world. Would have saved us all -- including her -- a lot of headaches!

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by mommy68

My oldest is in 5th this year. The one and only thing I don't like about his teacher (she's a great teacher) is that she obviously favors the girls over the boys. The girls always get to go to the office and around the school for errands and they always get chosen for specials in the class first. He tells me about it all the time. It irks me but what can I do. She's a great teacher so far other than that.

I'd say that any teacher than can get by without favoring one sex over the other would be a good one in my book, because the kids DO notice such things.

Oh yeah!!!! My ds is in PS Kindergarten and they have quarterly award ceremonies for demonstrating the "pillars of character." Each teacher gets to choose 6 representatives from their classes and then the whole school goes to an assembly. After the first ceremony, (my ds wasn't chosen) I asked him about it. He refused to talk about it and all he said was "Teachers only like little girls, they don't like boys." I asked a friend of mine about the ceremony (her ds was chosen so she was at the assembly) and she said that almost all of the recipients were girls and it was like each teacher chose a token boy.

My point being -- if a kindergartener can see this favoritism, I have to wonder what older boys thought about it. How discouraging is that??!!!!

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys

I guess, boy or girl I would point to checking-in with the really quiet kids --- sometimes the ones complaining the loudest aren't the most upset, ykwim?

Yes, please do this. This is coming from the mom of a very sensitive, introverted 4 year old ds who observes rather than participates. I struggle knowing that he is in a class of 18 children and his teacher just tells me that ds has to start participating more and talk/play with the other children. I would just love to know that he has an understanding teacher who GENTLY encouraged ds to feel comfortable. And until he felt comfortable show some understanding as to how difficult it is for ds in the meantime.