4 yr old Fights for his Rights!

[MySunflowerBoys]

Thanksgiving gatherings is always a time for family dramas, this year was no different. My dad did piss me off the first night we got there. Sean was sitting in the highchair eating & drinking cows milk from a cup. Aidan asked my dad what Sean was drinking.

My dad made this huge deal "He's drinking yummy milk! It's so good for you, lots of calcium so he gets big & strong."

Aidan said (God I love this boy!) "Mama milkie is yummy milk! We like mama milkie!"

My dad replies "Mama milkie is for babies, this milk is better for big boys."

I jumped in, "Really? That's funny, I thought I gave birth to humans, not cows. I find it hard to believe that milk intended for baby cows is better for my kids than milk made by their mother."

Dad: "actually goat's milk would be better for them than cow's milk but it's hard to find."

Mom: "no it's not, you can get it at Wal Mart."

Me: "or they can drink breastmilk any time they need it. For free."

Dad, changing the subject slightly: "so did you go to those protests at the airport?"

Me: "no, our local airport is just private planes & I didn't have time to drive to Wichita. I'm glad they happened though, it was for a very good cause."

end of subject....

They told Aidan he was too old to nurse at least 6 times in the 3 days we were there. ugh!!!!

[velcromom]

Good for him, standing up for what he knows is right!

[rmzbm]

Good job, Aidan!

[AesSedai]

Originally Posted by MySunflowerBoys

They told Aidan he was too old to nurse at least 6 times in the 3 days we were there. ugh!!!!

Your dad was being way out of line. After the first time, I'd have given my parents a warning that they are never to say that or anything more about my son breastfeeding again or I'd leave. If they did it again, I would have left immediately. I think it would be a good idea to set a clear boundary and let them know that the topic is none of their business and not up for discussion, or you and your son will continue to receive those comments.

[Meiri]

Unless you enjoy this sort of exchange, which does set a good example to your son of standing up for oneself, I agree that you might want to set some stronger boundaries.

[MySunflowerBoys]

I agree that they need to let up on the weaning talk. I have told them recently that we are trying to practice child led weaning and that we feel Aidan will wean when he is ready.

It seems like they think they need to educate him about what it means to be a "big boy" since I am not doing it. They just don't understand AP style parenting, both boys co-sleep and we have been letting Aidan potty "train" at his own pace. He has been out of diapers for a year, exclusively in underwear for about 9 months, but when he wants to poop, he gets his own pull up, puts it on & using it. This only occurs at home. He just isn't emotionally ready to poop in the potty & I don't think anything is going to change his mind.

They think this is "passive parenting" and just don't respect it. They live 2 hrs away from us, so I'm glad that we have distance between us so that neither of us has to hear their comments on a regular basis.

And, for what it's worth, after my parents make comments about weaning, I do tell Aidan that he can have mama milkies if he wants to and the only person that can tell him he can't have it is me.

[Sabo]

You know I find it kind of hypocritical that your father would behave this way.

He is saying that your son is too old to be nursed, but aren't you too old to have your parents trying to make life decisions for you and your children? He can have his opinions and discuss them with you, but he has to realize that you are a grown-up now and will not always bend to his opinion. And that trying to manipulate your child is not good grandparenting.

[mama in the forest]

Mama ~

You have the power to change this pressure for your little guy.

Why not sit your parents down, or write it out & send it, and tell them in no uncertain terms that your nursing relationship is NOT up for discussion. At all. And explain to them that you won't tolerate any more talk of it in front of your son. If they want to have an adult dialogue on it (and you want to also), do it over email or over the phone. Your little guy doesn't need to hear it.

[RockStarMom]

Originally Posted by AesSedai

Your dad was being way out of line. After the first time, I'd have given my parents a warning that they are never to say that or anything more about my son breastfeeding again or I'd leave. If they did it again, I would have left immediately. I think it would be a good idea to set a clear boundary and let them know that the topic is none of their business and not up for discussion, or you and your son will continue to receive those comments.

ITA. If my parents had done that to me, I would have given them one warning, then if they pulled it again, told them they had lost the privilege to see their grandchild until after he is (self!) weaned. Traumatizing a child like that is horrible. Good luck mama, sorry you have to deal with that.