How Do I help others choose to breastfeed?

[ppour]

My sister-in-law is 18 weeks pregnant. She says she is going to "try" to breastfeed, for at least 8 - 10 weeks! I sit listening to this, knowing my son self weaned at more than 3 years of age. I also hear comments about her going back to work ASAP, Drinking wine ASAP, etc. How can I not only encourage her, but help TEACH her how to breastfeed - especially while working - especially since I live 500 miles away! Good news is I too am pregnant, and due very soon - so I will set an example by what I do. Should I buy her a breastpump for her shower gift? PP

[renaissanceed]

I've encountered this myself recently with friends/coworkers who are pregnant and not sure about breastfeeding. So far I've invited them to attend LLL meetings with me (not really an option for you but you might want to encourage her to attend a few in her area if possibly - be sure to tell her that they welcome pregnant women and that it will help her to have contacts to call for support in the first few weeks). Can you buy her a book on breastfeeding? Like the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Bestfeeding or Nursing Mother, Working MOther since she plans on returning to work? Do you know what sort of support she has? Did her mother/mother-in-law breastfeed and can they give advice? Is it possible to arrange with some other relatives to get her a post partum doula as a support person who can help with breastfeeding as a sort of shower/baby gift? Without the support of my midwife on a daily basis for the first week and for the next weeks, I'm not sure I would have been able to continue breastfeeding since we had all sorts of problems at first. Is her husband on board? He can be a big factor and he needs to understand that she'll need lots of water, food and rest, as well as moral support - you might consider talking to him if you're comfortable and letting him know this and also letting him know where she can turn for help (LLL, lactation consultants, doulas, here, you etc).

As far as the wine goes, it is possible to have the occasional glass of wine and still breastfeed - be sure to let her know that!

[eightyferrettoes]

Hey, I was just going to "try" to BF for six weeks myself, so it sounds like she's halfway there! Going on 21 months and tandeming now.

Seriously, do let her know she can have a glass of wine and still nurse. I know some people would roll their eyes and go "how fackin' selfish can you BE to quit breastfeeding just for wine?" but after 9 dry months, a lot of women sure do look forward to that glass of merlot. It's a sign that your body is mercifully YOURS again.

I wouldn't buy her a pump. Get her a good book about nursing and working. Choosing a breastpump is such an individual thing. I depise manual pumps, for instance, while others like them fine.

And it might sit unused anyway, if she decides to wait a few more months to go back to work.

[mothragirl]

get her a copy of so that's what they're for, it has changed the minds of the three women that i've given it to already.

[MySunflowerBoys]

My husband's cousin is pg with her first & I also am hoping to encourage her to BF. She is due in Jan & I gave her a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, inside the cover I wrote web addresses for MDC, KellyMom, Dr Sears & LLL. I also included my phone numbers & wrote CALL ME ANYTIME! I printed out the meeting times & locations for LLL in her city & said I'd be happy to go with her to any meeting, hopefully before the baby is due. She thanked me for everything and said that a woman at her church is a LC & she is going to go to a BF class that she teaches.

She sounds interested in trying to nurse, but also needs to go back to work when the baby is 8 wks old. She's a teacher, so she will have summers off. I told her that I thought her teaching job would be perfect for a working nursing mom. I realy hope she gives it an honest try.

Good luck with your effort!

[Momma Aimee]

good luck

[Serrendipity]

If she's registered for her baby shower somewhere, buy the diaper bag she wants and turn it into a real "breastfeeding success bag." Fill it with a couple of books, Lansinoh, breastmilk storage bags, milk diapers breast pads, etc. and lots of resource info for her area, like her local LLL meetings, leader's #, even a pre-paid session with a good LC or postpartum doula like someone said. Basically anything useful to breastfeeding that can be given.

But as much as it's a nice idea to get her a breast pump, as a pp said, it really it a personal thing to choose. Recommend a few good ones if she askes, or if she tells you one that she wants, but she can't afford it, then get it for her (if you can afford it! lol), but it's not the best spontaneous gift. If she's going back to work right away and will be pumping all the time then she's probably going to need a really good, top-of-the-line pump and that's a lot of money to spend on something when she hasn't said she wants it and may give up early and never even use it!

Good luck with helping your SIL! I always tell people that are only going to "try it for a few weeks" that once they get past the first few weeks when everything is still awkward and new, that that's when brestfeeding becomes most enjoyable, so just to keep an open mind and not feel preasured to stop, lol.

Serendipity

[Spock]

I would buy her So That's What They're For since it has some humor and I think would be well-received by someone who is unsure about bfing. I would also let her know that she can call you anytime if she runs into trouble or just needs support. You can talk about how it's often difficult at the beginning but that it does get a lot better. I would just try to remain positive and non-judgmental and let her know that you support her.

[Momma Aimee]

i love this idea:

If she's registered for her baby shower somewhere, buy the diaper bag she wants and turn it into a real "breastfeeding success bag." Fill it with a couple of books, Lansinoh, breastmilk storage bags, milk diapers breast pads, etc. and lots of resource info for her area, like her local LLL meetings, leader's #, even a pre-paid session with a good LC or postpartum doula like someone said. Basically anything useful to breastfeeding that can be given.

I should have thought of that.

However, i thin the BP would be a good (I know the mother to be iIRL) but i worry it would be a dust collector as I worry it is not the right push to get her to keep it up........ the PP idea is maybe better.

Add a refirdge card -- big, easy to read, with LLL leaders names and numbers.

We'll keep working on it.

and remember -- So That's What They're For is the book -- of all the books I loaned T -- that FINALLY got to her........ it is more approachable than some of the LLL ones, and I am a year into BF and was gung-ho about it before......

Aimee
(love ya)

[Turkish Kate]

As soon as she gets one of those sample cans of ABM that always seem to come in the mail, have her mix up a bit and taste it. See if she can get a whole 4 oz down without gagging. I've never met anyone yet who could stomach the smell/taste of ABM.

[Momma Aimee]

great idea!!!

then tell her she has to throw out that can of formual -- cuz it has been opened --

to prevent it being easily assable when the baby is home

A

[Serrendipity]

Originally Posted by Turkish Kate

As soon as she gets one of those sample cans of ABM that always seem to come in the mail, have her mix up a bit and taste it. See if she can get a whole 4 oz down without gagging. I've never met anyone yet who could stomach the smell/taste of ABM.

Oh I should have thought of this, too! If you say it in a kind of, "You should at least taste the food you're thinking of feeding your DC" way it might sway her opinion in the way you're hoping. I've read about moms-to-be that tried exactly that when they were planning to FF from the start and were turned very pro-breastfeeding by the thought of feeding something that nasty tasting to their precious newborn. I'm certainly glad for the babies that really need it that formula has come as far as it has to be the best nutrition outside of breastmilk, but it's certainly not winning any taste tests any time soon!

Serendipity

[Momma Aimee]

I'm certainly glad for the babies that really need it that formula has come as far as it has to be the best nutrition outside of breastmilk

true but the defination of need is what need swork
I think foruma; should be Rx only -- only when a true medical need is deminstarted. like mom on chemo or whatever.

How abouit nurseing bras?

Aimee

[phathui5]

I'd send her a postcard with the meeting info for her local LLL group with a note that says that they welcome pregnant moms to attend.

I also recommend So That's What They're For.

Maybe a short email about why you enjoy breastfeeding.

[clynnr]

Originally Posted by Aimee21972

great idea!!!

then tell her she has to throw out that can of formual -- cuz it has been opened --

to prevent it being easily assable when the baby is home

A

Sorry, this is so OT, but I am literally LOL at this... ASSABLE

Reminds me of View From the Top...

"It's asSESS the window, not ASSes the window. You pur the wrong emPHAsis on the wrong sylLABle."

LOL!!!

BTW, I agree--tell her to throw it out so it's not accessible.

[RootSnort]

Your advice and ongoing support will be most helpful in getting her to keep up the good work of BFing!

I met with a lactation consultant at my hospital BEFORE my son was born, as I have an autoimmune disease that I suspected might cause some trouble. I wish that this pre-birth meeting was standard practice - it was wonderful having a head start and setting expectations.

As it turned out, my first 5 weeks were so very hard on me, but I kept it up, greatly helped by the ongoing support and cheers from my LC and other BFing friends.

As far as wine and drinks go, I have a dark beer most nights before bed, in Germany it's believed to help support milk production. I think they're right - my 8 month old son weighs 23 pounds (he doesn't want any food yet), and I still make 40 ounces a day.

[Serrendipity]

Originally Posted by LauraBlock

As far as wine and drinks go, I have a dark beer most nights before bed, in Germany it's believed to help support milk production. I think they're right - my 8 month old son weighs 23 pounds (he doesn't want any food yet), and I still make 40 ounces a day.

But only beer. It's the brewers yeast that helps, so wine (or a Mike's Hard Lime like I like to drink) won't do a thing to help make milk! But that small amount of alcohol won't hurt anything either.

So keep on drinking your dark beer!

Serendipity

[caricandothis]

nak (of course, lol)

i love this place! my very young, very impressionable 18 yr old sil is pg with her and my brother's first child in may and she's said she'll "try" bfing also. she knows that i'm a big bfing advocate and i've been trying to think of ways to encourage her to get the "try" idea out of her mind. i want her to be dedicated by the time my niece/nephew comes. the diaper bag idea is excellent, i can't wait to start collecting things for it over the next few months--it'll be such a great gift for her!

thanks so much!!