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Basically forced out of church for breastfeeding - Page 2

post #21 of 209
From your posts, JamesMama, I can tell you are a woman devoted to your God so I can't imagine the betrayal you feel right now. I also urge you to report to higher authorities of your church. I can see how some stuffy people think women should cover up (even though it should always be a woman and her child's choice IMO), but calling you a prostitute and equating it to pornography is terrible. Personally, I feel like those people have impure thoughts since that's what came to their minds.
post #22 of 209
That is seriously wrong! I cant imagine the nerve of those people!!!! How dare they??? I hope you do report this to a higher level. Behavior like this is just unacceptable. They are sooooo wrong.
post #23 of 209
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much mama's.

My DH's grandma used to go to this church and left for various reasons, she invited us to her church. Strangely enough it's the same church that my friends parents attend so my friend is going there too.

I plan on contacting the Head office tomorrow and telling them how they attacked me.

DH wants to call the pastor and asked if our Ex-associate pastor (their grandson) was treated the same after his...indecression shall we say.
post #24 of 209
Wow. I would absolutely make this public - all members of the congregation should be aware of this council's beliefs/ignorance.
post #25 of 209
That is SO wrong. So wrong. I am so sorry for you. I second what Angela says about the local news. People like that need to be stopped.
post #26 of 209
I wish I could say I was suprised, but honestly, I'm not. Iowa is sometimes very backwards. I've gotten strange looks from people at my MIL's church. Apparently breastfeeding belongs in the "cry" area or in the nursery, but ONLY there.

I want to make a onesie that says "Good enough for Jesus is good enough for me. Breastmilk, God's plan."
post #27 of 209
I am just so horrified for you, I cannot describe it!!

If this is an "organized" denomination - then go over your pastor's head and report this inappropriate behavior. If you are Presbyterian, call the presbytery office, if Methodist call the conference, if Episcopal call the diocese - you get my drift. Write a STRONGLY worded letter expressing your feelings.

I am the organist/choir director at 2 small Methodist churches. The congregations there really have no experience with BFing moms (I would say 99% of our parishioners FFed their children or were FFed themselves) but they have embraced me and baby Elizabeth and have been so supportive of BFing. In fact, I take Elizabeth to church with me each week and they hold her while I play. Our pastor is totally sweet and supportive as well. I hope you can find a new church home where you are treated with the respect you deserve!!!
post #28 of 209
I am so sad and angry that this happened to you. They had no right to call you in and have this conversation with you. As a Christian, I can't even imagine having this happen. Nursing your son is completely normal...judging and calling names is not. I would definately look to higher leadership within my denomination if I were you. One question...you mentioned that there was a tape recorder...did they record the whole conversation? If so, I'd try and get a copy of the tape to share with anyone willing to listen! Best wishes to you, your DH and your sweet boy.

post #29 of 209
I'm so sorry. I would report them to a higher up in the church hierarchy. Sorry not being a church member myself I'm not sure what the correct name would be, but whoever that your pastor answers to. The is an appalling, disgusting and shocking thing to happen.
post #30 of 209
E-mail your pastor these and ask if they count as porn


BTW most sundays I'm nursing in the chior loft
post #31 of 209
Wow, I cannot believe that happened. Who do they think they are? They must be very bored and lonely people.

Good for you, and especially dh for standing up for what's RIGHT. It must have been especially hard for your dh with his ambitions to be a pastor. If I were him, I'd completely jump over the pastor's head and not call or ask him any questions about his grandson's "indescresions" or anything else. I'd write a letter to a higher up and possibly find someone to write an article for the local newspaper.

((hugs to you)) and your dh will make a great pastor someday.
post #32 of 209
Oh my! I can't believe that. I'm so appalled at what they said. Good for you for sticking up to them and going over there heads. Hopefuly some good will come from this.
post #33 of 209
post #34 of 209
What next, are they going to go to Italy and start burning priceless masterpieces by all the master painters because they contain images of Jesus being fed in a normal way?

I am very sorry that you were hurt this way. I've been criticized for normal behavior by a religious organization as well, (not bf) when I was a young and sensitive woman and I know how deep it cuts.
post #35 of 209
That is crazy. Definitely call the higher-ups! I'm so blown away I can't even think straight. What in the world!

I had the only baby at my church 2 years ago, and I nursed everywhere and everywhere. In fact, we were nursing when our pastor introduced its newest member and the whole congregation turned to look! Several women followed did the same in the next two years, and I just found out the strangest story...

One of the women whose children are older had a big beef with the current pastor/council because apparently she was told to leave the sanctuary to nurse when her kids were little (previous pastor). She was not mad because she was told to leave. SHE WAS MAD BECAUSE SHE WANTED US TO LEAVE TOO. She even left the church because he refused to ask us to leave. Odd.

I totally support you going above his head. Let us know what happens! Oh, and BRAVO to your DH!!!!!! I want to hug him.
post #36 of 209
I've only read the first two paragraphs of the OP.

If they have a problem with you having nursing pictures on your MySpace page and want you to show a more "Christian" attitude, sounds like it's time for you to print out a bunch of Maria Lactans pictures and wallpaper the church.

Clynnr, your story has finally clarified for me the attitude of some anti-NIPers. They just think everyone should suffer like they did.
post #37 of 209
First off ITA with one of the PP - Get a copy of that tape. I would definately go higher and not leave it as it is - Afterall, you probably won't be the last person to nurse in that church! I would personally contact a human rights lawyer. What they did and said to you was nothing short of slander. It disgusts me to no end that they would say those horrible things to you for doing what is best by your child.

BTW - I think you are an AWESOME example to those teens and I hope they all get more exposure to this (so-called) pornographic and prostitute behaviour. Maybe then they will view BF and NIP as normal and healthy ways of feeding their children (godforbid )

After the Emily Gillette story I'm sure that the press would gobble this story up.

Get that tape!!!

Brava to you momma!

post #38 of 209
Oh, mama - that is beyond ignorant and awful. Does this church have a website? Is there any way for a bunch of pissed off lactivists to contact this pastor?

Originally Posted by Pynki View Post
I want to make a onesie that says "Good enough for Jesus is good enough for me. Breastmilk, God's plan."
You can get a lovely t-shirt from Granola Threads that says, "Jesus was breastfed." I have one.
post #39 of 209
Does that pastor find all the beautiful paintings of Mary nursing Jesus pornographic? Whoever this person is, they're not a Christian- they're a prudish control freak. I'd get the hell out of there and go contact your local news.
post #40 of 209
A "bad influence on teens"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!:

I'm sorry, but anyone who NIPs is the BEST BEST BEST, MOST WHOLESOME influence on teens. You are DEsexualizing the breast.

I'm sorry this happened to you

I 100% agree that you are doing the right thing by informing higher-ups. I think making it public is fine if that's what you are comfrotable with- and necessisary if the higher ups don't take some action on your behalf. If the whole real church feels the way your pastors do then the public needs to know. I also like the idea of decorating your myspace page with the artwork above.

I'm just so sorry. I know this hurt you on an incredible scale.
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