Basically forced out of church for breastfeeding - Page 5

[lissabob]

Originally Posted by wannabe

Oh, I see now! He didn't mean prostitution, he meant plagiarism!

Your photo http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a82...m/100_0734.jpg

The image you copied

(apprently it's this woman called Mary, and her toddler is called something starting with a J, but I don't think it was John or Joseph. Oh, and notice that you can see his bottom! Shock, horror!)

I'm very interested to hear what the higher-ups say.

I have to say that "hold" looks mighty uncomfortable. LOL!

[Irishmommy]

I can see the issue with the friend's picture being pornographic. I mean. you can SEE her SHOULDERS!!!!



JamesMama, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[dallaschildren]

First off....what a horribly insensitive thing to do. I am so sorry. Secondly, it is quite possibly illegal as well. Call an attorney. Seriously. And in the interium I would check up on Iowa's laws on tape recording. If they didn't ask your permission, then it's highly likely it was an illegal taping. And how crafty for them to have the foresight to tape the exchange. But not crafty enough to still do what they did to you. Any smart attorney would have strongly recommended against this meeting with you and perhaps that's why they weren't represented by anyone at the table but by themselves.

DC

[ColoradoMama]

That was outrageous and uncalled for. I am so, so sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, many "godly" people seem to forget that God is watching them. That must have hurt so badly. It was very sneaky and underhanded of them as well.

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

I can see the issue with the friend's picture being pornographic. I mean. you can SEE her SHOULDERS!!!!



JamesMama, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Of COURSE!!! Those sinful, sinful, SHOULDERS!!!
OY!

[Maggies*Mommy]

Originally Posted by JamesMama

I don't want to say anything negative about the denomination, the former pastor (the one that half raised me) is now preaching at a different church and he was livid when my friends mother informed him of what is going on. He said it is NOT Biblical and not Christian. I'm in the process of drafting a letter to send to the state district head and the main district head.

The church is Foursquare, a sub-group of Pentecostal.

WOW Nae-I go to Foursquare too and never once have worried about BFing. I hope this isnt a Foursquare-wide problem.

[Learnintolaugh]

Originally Posted by dallaschildren

And in the interium I would check up on Iowa's laws on tape recording. If they didn't ask your permission, then it's highly likely it was an illegal taping. DC

I believe that actually in a face-to-face situation where the recorder is in plain view, the consent of all parties is presumed.

Still, the whole thing was really, really shitty for them to do and it makes me feel so sad for you and the other woman as well. I hope that you can find a church that welcomes you w/ open arms. Because that one, at least the leadership, was seriously screwed up.

[rozzie'sma]

How upsetting. Please pursue this up the chain of command. I cannot believe that the higher ups would be pleased with this pastor's behavior, it reflects poorly on the entire community. As he said himself, as christians you are held to a higher standard.

[dallaschildren]

Originally Posted by Learnintolaugh

I believe that actually in a face-to-face situation where the recorder is in plain view, the consent of all parties is presumed.

Still, the whole thing was really, really shitty for them to do and it makes me feel so sad for you and the other woman as well. I hope that you can find a church that welcomes you w/ open arms. Because that one, at least the leadership, was seriously screwed up.

Possibly...but even in plain view the parties all have to agree verbally and on "recorded" record that they know they are being taped and that they give permission.

DC

[kdlink]

I am so sorry! Hugs from IL!!!

I always thought that the midwest was a little less freaked out about bf'ing than most of the US. I bf in church (usually in the second row) an have never had an issue! As a matter of fact it has been strongly supported by the entire church. As it should be!!! People have mentioned the 'cry room' if it helps me feel more comfortable, but they have always been clear in saying that Rachel and I weren't disturbing them.

Please let us know how it goes, we care and want a good outcome for you and your family. I agree that you need to find a church that follows Christ's teachings. The judgemental, improper behavior of the church leaders do not follow any guidelines that are discussed in the bible.

Your pictures are beautiful! This is a special time in your child's life and your pictures and those of Jesus and Mary show the special bond we share with our babies!

Shame on them!!!

[bullfrog]

I understand the want to call up the head office of the church and let them know what happened - but I strongly recommend that you speak with a lawyer and send a letter instead.

This is discrimination at least -and calling you a prostitute is ....slander? Right? Who else is he talking to? I wouldn't give them much room on this. I would stand up for your rights in the least emotional way possible. What they have done to your family is unspeakably painful. You were ambushed - but I would not leave myself vulnerable to them again.

I'm so sorry for what's happened to you. Don't play into their intimidation tacticts - these are just men, who apparently think their religion is more important than their God.

[Meiri]

and then he said that sex is normal would I do that in public

I certainly hope that that pastor, and those who support his idiocy, never eat in public. If you see them at a restaurant, ask them where the blankets for their heads are. Ask them why they are indulging in such Natural passions in PUBLIC.

We used to use a tape recorder for our board meetings back when I did that. Before we started, the Chairwoman would point out the tape recorder and tell any guests at the meeting that we taped for the purpose of doing the Minutes (true, especially when I had to nurse DD and wasn't octopus enough to be able to take notes at the same time). I don't know that the announcement of the taping and consent has to be on tape, but it is supposed to be done beforehand.

[adtake]

I've tried to read all the posts, but am too annoyed for you! So here is my .02...

Does the rest of the congregation know about this? Your Sunday School class? You may find that this was done under the table and no one knows the real story! If it was me..I would come back to my class (group) and tell them I won't be back and exactly why. And depending on my gaul that day ( ) I would march my happy little nursing butt right into the service and up to the front and let the whole congregation know whats up.

I would most definatly go higher up, and let them church elders, committees or leaders know. My moms church had a horrid Pastor and half the church left because of his actions on other people. Be a voice, let the rest of the church know what is going on.

Good luck and go after them!!

[Qerratsmom]

Wow...just wow, I can't even imagine how mad I would be...

[Irishmommy]

Originally Posted by Pynki

Of COURSE!!! Those sinful, sinful, SHOULDERS!!!
OY!

Okay, please tell me you got the sarcasm in my post, please!

[Jennifer3141]

Complain to a higher up, please!!!!!!!!

[GooeyRN]

Im really sorry you had to deal with that. Our church has a picture of Jesus outdoors with a whole bunch of people in it. There are two women bfing in it. The picture is in the open confessional. Im really sorry you had to deal with that. There are many churches that don't have a problem with bfing. That sucks that you had to leave a church you were so involved with. I am really suprised a pastor gave you that kind of reaction. You were only feeding your kid, its not like you had your husband hanging off of your breast!

[JamesMama]

Here is the letter I just emailed off to the National Office and the District Supervisor the ### are names and places, lol

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Renae ### , I am a current member of ### Church, located in ###, Iowa. On November 27, 2006 I received a call from my Pastor, ###, requesting I and my husband, Joshua ###, meet him at the church at 7:00 that night. He did not say what the meeting was going to be about or who else would be there.

At 7:00pm my husband and I arrived at the church to find Pastor ###, his wife, Pastor ###, and two members of the Church Counsel, ### and ###, sitting around a table. About 10 minutes later two other members of the congregation, Whitney and Chris ### arrived and we all sat down.

At that time Pastor opened in prayer and informed us that the following conversation was going to be tape recorded.

He then stated that he had heard rumors around town about my and Whitney's personal Myspace pages. He then pulled out four pieces of paper, showed us pictures of ours that he had printed off of our Myspace pages and said that the pictures were pornography. The pictures in question showed Whitney and I breastfeeding our children.

He then stated that those pictures were reflecting badly upon the church and upon the business that Whitney’s parents, ### and ### ###, own. And that people were leaving the church or refusing to come to the church because of them. At which time Whitney got upset and chose to leave the conversation.

I, along with my husband stayed. During the 30 minute conversation, the Pastor compared my photographs to having sex publicly, said that I was causing people to stumble in their Christian walk. That my breasts are for the sole enjoyment of my husband, and that I was indecent, immoral, and in the words of one man he spoke to a prostitute. I was publicly humiliated, rebutted and talked down to when I tried to defend myself. Told that I was wrong and that I was a poor Christian testimony and that I was hurting my husbands chances of becoming a licensed ### minister, as he is in the process of applying for. I was told that he shared my photos with several members of his family, including the former Associate Pastor of my church, ### ###. And they all expressed similar shock at the photos.

I feel that Pastor ### ### actions were wrong. I feel that I was personally attacked, that my character was attacked and I feel that I have been spiritually assaulted. Never in my life did I think that the Pastor of my church would attack me in such a fashion. Never in my life did I believe that the Pastor of a church could say such horrible things about something as natural and wonderful as me nursing my child. I feel that he went about this in a non-Scriptural way as it says in Matthew 18:15-16 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” The Pastor did not approach us in privacy, instead he confronted me in front of the counsel, and recorded the entire conversation. He attacked me and tore me down as a Christian woman. And he also allowed the rumors and bad things about me to be spread without allowing me to confront those who were defaming my name.

I no longer feel welcome in that church, and feel that he has shaken my belief in the church and in the people that represent God. I feel that he used his power and authority over me to bully me, threaten me, and tear me down.

For this reason, I respectfully request that my name, Renae ### be formally removed from the membership list of the ### church and I formally request that actions be taken to restore my reputation.

Respectfully,

Renae ###

[Irishmommy]

Great letter.

[mama in the forest]

I'm disgusted. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Ignorance. :