Is childbirth the worst pain you have ever felt? and some other questions. - Page 3

[boheime]

I would say that my children's births were 'intense.' This was a very important distinction for me during labor. As for the ring of fire? I have not a clue. I have never felt that. Is that caused by pushing before you are ready and there is still some cervical lip? I've never had a managed birth and have never pushed unless my body told me to.

[Zamber]

It was definately not painful for me. It was like running a marathon - felt absolutely great in the begining, then really tired towards the end. Once the baby arrives, there is no better natural high. I can't wait to experience it all over again

[mommacanary]

I just don't want you to be unprepared like I was. I felt betrayed that no one told me how painful it might be, or how long it might go on for. If I had just known that might happen in a natural, UC, unafraid birth I don't think I would have been so angry after she was born. Unlike the PP, I did not have any interventions; and yet, I still had many hours of very painful labor.

That said, I hope you have a breeze of a birth and next time, I hope my birth hurts less too!
: thank you for your honest answer momma!

[mitintraining]

Birth is a feeling in itself. There are so many things going on emotional, physically and mentally. You will amaze yourself with your unbelievable power to creat life and then let that life out into this world. Each contraction is a ruch of energy that helps your baby be born. Laugh at the peak, even if it is like a monkey My advice, hire a doula. Being one myself, and using one for three previous births, I know how great they are in lightening the mood and helping you make the most of your labor and birth. Besides it is great to have a woman to sing a womans song with during labor. Much love and good wishes to you, my friend!

[Redifer]

To be honest, no. It was painful, yes, but I'd have to say, a thumbtack in my foot that entered the bone and had to be pulled out with pliers takes the "most painful" cake, for me.

[mommacanary]

I just wanted to thank all you momma's for you honest answers. They have been very helpful at calming my fears.

[feebeeglee]

Originally Posted by Redifer

To be honest, no. It was painful, yes, but I'd have to say, a thumbtack in my foot that entered the bone and had to be pulled out with pliers takes the "most painful" cake, for me.

OMG this made me wince and feel nauseated just reading it! OMG OMG OMG.

[mamabain]

having my exposed nerve touched during a root canal was definitely more painful. (it reverberated toes to tips of hair for 15 minutes). the shot for numbing before perineal stitches hurt more than the whole labor of 14 hours preceding it (birth one). for my second birth the pain was much easier to bear even though posterior (water homebirth, yay!) except for the moment of head bursting through and tearing. i don't believe i would have torn if i had an UC, the midwife was directing me to push hard cuz she was worried about heart tones. i knew things were fine but chose to listen to her and pushed with all my might, my skin wasn't able to stretch that fast.

i think labor pains are very different from person to person but they are manageable. especially if you realize you are getting a beautiful baby at the end of it!

[Vaquitita]

i didn't have an unassisted birth (for the majority of labor it was just dh and i at home, then at the very end -just as transition was ending- my midwife came and she was there for the actual birth), but i thought i'd chime in. in the last month before my ds was born i started to get really nervous, i mean any day now it'll be happening and there's no going back!

but it really wasn't horrific or anything. yeah some of it hurts. but its not really like anything else, so it's hard to compare. its just this super intense feeling. a friend of mine (a mother and grandmother many times over) told me she'd rather give birth than have a root canal if that comparison helps you. in some ways it can feel like cramps, kinda achey. but of course it isn't constant, it comes and goes. which makes a big difference. i moved around alot, birth ball, walking, etc. anytime i tried laying down, cause i was tired, it made me feel panicy and i'd get right back up and be fine.

as for transition, for me i was wondering how much longer labor would go on. i was still ok, but was getting tired and not sure how much longer i could handle it. then i threw up. then i knew that i was in transition and i stopped worrying. as for pushing, i don't really remember a 'ring of fire' i remember some stinging. mostly i remember how hard i had to work to get ds out! he weighed 9lb. 7oz. and it took me quite awhile to push him out. i only had one tiny tear, no stitches.

i know people say you forget, and thats the only reason women go on to have more kids. but even right afterwards, i was thinking about 'next time i want to do this...' so you see, it really isn't that bad. i went into it thinking of it like digging a ditch- it is really hard work, and parts of you will ache a bit and get sore. and that's how it was.

[2much2luv]

Originally Posted by feebeeglee

OMG this made me wince and feel nauseated just reading it! OMG OMG OMG.

Me too. Oh heavens, I think that would have killed me.

First off, I love this thread. How great to read all the different experiences. Birth really comes in such a varity!

My first birth, which was induced with pit, was horribly painful. Crying for my mother, irrationally crying to just go home and not have a baby, for hours and hours and hours kind of pain. That was the worst pain of my life.

My second birth was beautiful. The contractions weren't painful in the least until I got to transition. That was really hard and intense, but still not really painful, like a knife through flesh kind of pain. Then my body started pushing and I thought I was being ripped in half. That hurt, and in retrospect I'm pretty sure it's because I'd lost control . . . my body began pushing on its own and I couldn't stop it or affect it in any way. The baby came out wrapped up in her cord and I'm pretty sure that's why my body chose to push her out so fast. But, yes, pushing was very painful, but it was also over in about a minute and then I felt great.

My third birth was quite hard. It was long and exhausting and became quite painful at the end. But it was very manageable . . . 30 seconds of pain followed by 30 seconds (or more) of relief. Once again transition was so very painful, but once again it was over before I knew it and I was content with a baby in my arms.

I think the most valuable info we can get from this thread is that every birth and every woman's experience of birth is so so different from the next.

[NYCVeg]

I also had a midwife attended birth, but we didn't get to the birth center until the very end, so the mw was only there for a teeny bit.

For my, the first two months of breastfeeding were actually more painful than labor (I had a host of horrific problems, none of which I'll get into here). But, yes, labor was incredibly painful for me. Part of this was probably due to the fact that active labor was VERY fast for me, so my contractions came right on top of each other, even during pushing. I had read all about how great pushing is, because you get long rests between contractions blah blah blah. I was lucky to get 30 seconds between pushing contractions. I screamed. I howled. But, you know what? I still gave birth to a baby with zero interventions. Pain is just pain. It passes and it can be worked through. Would I love to be one of those women for whom labor is really hard but not painful work? Of course. But having had a very painful labor, I would still do it again in a second (the next one's going to be at home, though ).

I didn't ever feel a "ring of fire" (which was something I was actually pretty scared of), btw.

[mezzaluna]

pain - yes, it was the most painful experience i had had. however, it was closely followed by worse pain as i kept bleeding and had a lot of interventions - pitocin brought back contractions after i'd finished delivering baby and placenta and experienced that sweet relief... local anesthetic hurt going in and didn't seem to dull the pain of all the stitches i got. i think a major difference in my experience of the pain is that i knew labor pain was pain with a purpose... the pain of the interventions was just unexpected, unwanted and the OBs attitude was very critical and humiliating, so it was just awful.

labor pain, on the other hand - while it was very painful it definitely felt productive and useful... and i think it really just intrinsically was painful because i was woken from sleep by the pain when it started, and felt pain even when i was trying to relax at home in what i thought was early labor (turned out i had a pretty short labor so i started out fairly intense). the pain felt better when i felt in control - if i could move into positions that minimized my pain... if i could keep my breathing deep and restoring... if i could hold onto my DH and feel his support for me. most of all i remember just wanted to be asleep... wanting to take a break and sleep for a few days straight and then come back and face labor... i never wanted drugs, but i did want a reprieve from the pain... i also started having contractions on top of each other at least some of the time from very early on... so it was scary not to get the kind of break and relief i was expecting.

i didn't notice a big change in my subjective feelings during transition... i did feel disappointed that pushing didn't feel like the relief i expected either - the pain continued, but with an added sensation of needing to bear down for a bowel movement. i think if i knew that pain was likely to continue then it would have been easier to take... i'd just heard so many stories of how good it felt to push that i felt a little betrayed then!

i didn't feel the ring of fire - but then again my OB was very hands-on during delivery so i probably didn't even experience crowning without her hands also in me... and i tore, too, which i didn't feel, so maybe that had me bypassing the ring of fire effect. i'm sort of looking forward to feeling it this time so i can think about relaxing and letting my tissues stretch, which i didn't get a chance to do first time around.

i remember the first night looking at the pain scale on the wall of my recovery room and describing labor pain to my friend who'd asked as rating at the top of the scale. but after i'd slept that first night i tell you the memory of that sensation was fading already. i certainly feel now i would prefer the 6 hours of labor pain i had to the 20 minutes of intervention-caused pain afterwards, or to the weeks of recovery from my tearing, or the weeks of trouble breastfeeding.

sorry to have written kind of a depressing message! but i wanted to give you my reality - yes labor can be extremely painful, but you are strong, and you can endure pain in the service of the normal work of labor - you will know what an amazing thing you are doing, and you can work with the pain - use its messages to guide you to do what you need to do during labor.

[MommaMoo]

OP, try to focus on relaxing. Worrying will make pain worse. Labor is not the most painful thing I've experienced. About two weeks before I went into labor, I had a molar go bad. Gawd, now THAT hurt! I had to suffer for three days before I could get it pulled out (happened over a weekend). I didn't want a root canal. Anyway, I was throwing things around the room b/c I was so much pain over my tooth, but when I was in labor I was as calm as could be and was surprised at how manageable the pain was. BUT you've got to just go with it, trust your body, and ride those waves of contractions. Labor is very, very hard work. I'd call it an act of extreme endurance rather than one of extreme pain. Oh, and if you have access to a shower, that helps a lot! I waayyy preferred that to the tub, anyway. Have a beautiful, strong labor!

[SublimeBirthGirl]

IMO you're focusing way too much on the pain. I've had two waterbirths, one in a hospital and one UC. Yep, they both hurt. Birth is the most intense thing I've ever experienced. But I can tell you I'd rather give birth than have a migraine, or throw my back out. It's a natural feeling, not like stubbing your toe or banging your head on something. It's nothing you can't handle. If you're obsessively worried about the pain, it's only going to make things hurt more. Relax. Some women have painless births, some don't. Either way, you can handle it.

[moongoddess176]

I'll let you know in a week or two when I have this little one!!

[ndakkitten]

Well, both my labors were hospital births with CNMs, and I had Pit for both of them. My first labor was fine until the damned Pitocin, and the second labor was induced with Pit from the start. Definitely making a concerted effort to stay at home as long as possible this time around since I only live 5 mins from the hospital this time (instead of almost an hour).

I ended up in the ER with a kidney stone about a year after my first son was born and I have to say the pain from that was actually WAY worse than even the Pit labor for me. The pain was so intense I couldn't even stand and I was vomiting (something I have never done in labor). I have never had a more horrible experience than having to ride in a car 45 miles to the hospital in below zero weather, having to stop a few times to throw up. Thank god my husband was an EMT at the time and regularly drove ambulance, he got us there as fast as he could. Once in the ER, I was so cold they had a horrible time starting an IV because my veins were so bad. It took them a half hour to get an IV started to give me any pain meds. I have never wanted pain medication so desperately, even during the worst Pit contractions.

I do believe that the idea of the pain having a purpose during labor helps. The pain was intense, but I knew in the end it would result in a baby and that it wouldn't last. Hopefully this time around, I can avoid the Pit and hence, avoid any pain medications.

[Qerratsmom]

No, I would not call it pain, intense? very, uncomfortable? at times, hard work? YES, but it comes and goes. I have had menstrual cramps that were worse and never let up also a kidney infection, now that was pain!
Someone made an analogy that it was kind of like running a marathon (though I've never run one personally). Its hard work, intense you have a desire for it to end but you have all that adrenalin pushing you to the finish line, yk? Then afterward, WOW! Its like you won the greatest gold medal ever!

[Peony]

I've never had any injuries or surgery of any kind so for me childbirth was and still is the worst pain I've ever felt, but so worth it. My labors haven't been so bad, yeah it hurts, but then the pain goes away and you get to regroup. It was never anything I couldn't handle. Pushing with dd1 hurt, alot, that was when I was thinking I just wanted baby to come out right now. It was not relief in anyway, but the hardest part of my 19 hour labor, but the second she was out, all the pain was gone. I didn't expererience the ring of fire. Pushing with dd2 was so quick and easy, and was easier then labor it's self that seconds after her birth I was already thinking ahead to my next birth and looking forward to it.

Take labor one contraction at a time, don't analyze everything. I feel that many women get themselves in trouble and give up when they think "it took me 10 hours to get to this point, how much longer is it going to take". No one knows how labor is going to go, all you can do is hang on, and ride, don't fight it. Pg moms do focus on the pain, they are scared of it, and it is hard not to be scared when you don't know what to expect, but the thing is no one knows to expect at any moment in life but we don't go through life scared, well maybe some do but that's not a way to live.

[Attila the Honey]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

IMO you're focusing way too much on the pain. I've had two waterbirths, one in a hospital and one UC. Yep, they both hurt. Birth is the most intense thing I've ever experienced. But I can tell you I'd rather give birth than have a migraine, or throw my back out. It's a natural feeling, not like stubbing your toe or banging your head on something. It's nothing you can't handle. If you're obsessively worried about the pain, it's only going to make things hurt more. Relax. Some women have painless births, some don't. Either way, you can handle it.

Ooh, that's a good one. Yes, I would rather give birth than have a migraine, too. That's a perfect example of "something is wrong" type pain.

The thing is, it's a vicious cycle. When people would tell me not to be scared because it would make it worse it made me more scared because I knew I couldn't not be scared (it's only natural to be scared of new situations!) and I was convinced that because I couldn't just get all zen about the birth and wipe away my fear that I was doomed to be in utter and complete agony. It was alot of pressure!

Truth be told, I was petrified right up until labor started and then I thought, "Wow, this isn't so bad. I can do this." The only time I didn't feel that way was shortly before the birth, and that's when almost everyone feels that way - it's really normal in transition and for me was very short lived.

I agree, though, to focus on relaxation. But, it's OK to be scared, too. Just know that it really is true that you can handle it.

[AikeaGuinea]

It was probably the worst pain I had felt-- HOWEVER, the nice thing is that it doesn't last forever. You have to remember that so you don't let it take over you.

I had pain meds with my first two labors, and was "natural" with my second two. I remember entering transition labor without the pain medication...I really felt like I couldn't take it and I was going to lose my mind, and how could anyone expect me to actually survive this...and then just like that, I was at 10 cm and ready to push.

I think if I had just remembered that the pain was temporary, instead of getting lost in it, I would have had a better experience.

Once you start to push it is a piece of cake. You will know that each push is bringing your baby closer to your arms so at that point the pain will be nothing to you.

Just concentrate on getting through the transition and know that as soon as you are, everything will be cake from there