Many factors go in to why someone has to WOH or is able to SAH - not merely lifestyle. I'll give you 1 example - benefits. One spouse may have the income that supports the family while the other spouse has the benefits - thus requiring the spouse works. This is our situation - and it is further compounded by the fact that I have pre-existing medical conditions and am uninsurable outside of "group coverage" - so buying med insurance on our own has not been an option. Furthermore - my medical conditions require monthly medication that is astronomically expensive without good medical benefits.]
[So - however you may feel about the sacrifices you make to stay at home - please know that there are those of us that would love to make the same sacrifices but - for many many reasons - can't. I am glad that you and others can -- but please don't consider the rest of us negatively - you never know what a family's situation may be . . . . .
I could have written this post, because it describes my situation exactly. Except, in my case, my dp has the medical condition. And we, as a same-sex couple, are ineligible for family benefits @ each others' jobs. I make more $ & could probably-- w/tremendous sacrifice & home downsizing-- support our family of 3 while dp sah. Since I cannot sah w/dp's salary, this would be the best alternative. BUT, we couldn't obtain our own insurance w/her pre-existing condition. And even if my co. offered domestic partner coverage, it would be taxed differently than a legally married couple's. So we couldn't afford it either way.
But, I think many posters here ARE lucky/fortunate to sah (totally recognizing the frugality & sacrifices often involved) when so many of us would love to but really, truly CAN'T.