Originally Posted by Yooper
We have had a no-gifts party for all of dd's birthdays. I do not really care if it is rude or not. Offended? Don't come. It is not about disapproving of toys or not getting the kinds we want. It is about living a simple life. Dd has WAY more toys than she needs and I see no reason to contribute to this society's consumeristic attitude and environmental problems just to make a check mark in my ettiquette book. Not to mention many of our friends are broke and I do not want them to have to worry about spending money to come to our little cookout. Dd has always had giftless parties and has never been to a party that had gifts so she is not aware that she is missing out on a glut of presents. When that day comes, we will discuss it and then decide how to proceed with her consent. At this point she is just happy to have the attention of all of her friends (chlidren and adults), eat cake, and play until the wee hours of the night.
I agree that too much is too much, and I agree there are some terrible production and pollution problems, but not embracing the thoughtfulness of others doesn't help that. There's no reason we can't kindly share out thoughts with friends, rather than putting odd commentary on invitations.
I've seen, esp at MDC over the years, gchildren kept from gparents, or huge arguments that cause gigantic family rifts over things like whether a child should recieve a plastic toy or eat a sugar cookie at gma's. I do think it's frustrating when gparents or friends don't see things exactly as we do, but kindness and understanding go a long way to helping each other see things differently.
Loving friends and parents should transcend whether someone gives a child a Barbie or a My Little Pony, or a gift when someone said "No gifts". If you expect others not to be offended at your invitations commentary, I don't see why they should not be offended in return if you get angry that they wanted to give a child they cared about a gift.
There is so much anger here...and anger isn't the way to heal the world. The most lofty ideals don't do much if it means thinking it's ok to be unkind to others who are trying to be kind.