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circ/guilt/lack of  

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that some people are happy with their choice to circumcise their sons. It just makes me really sad. I really feel that these little babies are traumatised. My SIL and I have baby boys 2weeks apart and i constantly feel like I shouldn't say anything about the circumcision (or my sons lack of circ) because "of course she must feel horribly guilty and sick about it, right?" but maybe she doesn't. maybe she thinks it was a totally reasonable thing to do and her baby is NO different than he would have been otherwise. I just feel really at peace that my son has never experienced that, or any, violation....he is at peace.

sarah
post #2 of 23
There was just a thread on another board about this and it made me sick seeing how many moms were proud that they chose to circ. I mean I understand not feeling particularly guilty, as in realising that you did what you thought was best and no good is going to come of worrying about it now, but being proud? How can you be proud of mutilating your child? I just don't get it. And then they go on and on about how it is a parental decision and they don't appreciate being made to feel bad about it. Well first if they feel that they did the right thing and are really proud then my saying that it is mutilation shouldn't make them feel badly right? But what really gets me is if I said I was proud of having my baby girl circ'd (which I would never do of course) and that it was a personal parental decision those same people would jump all over me as a child abuser. So why is the mutilation of your baby boy somethign to be proud of but the mutilation of a baby girl is a heinous crime?

I'm sorry if this had nothing to do with your question, it has just been eating me up in side. I long for the day when MGM is illegal just like FGM.
post #3 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
There was just a thread on another board about this and it made me sick seeing how many moms were proud that they chose to circ. I mean I understand not feeling particularly guilty, as in realising that you did what you thought was best and no good is going to come of worrying about it now, but being proud? How can you be proud of mutilating your child? I just don't get it. And then they go on and on about how it is a parental decision and they don't appreciate being made to feel bad about it. Well first if they feel that they did the right thing and are really proud then my saying that it is mutilation shouldn't make them feel badly right? But what really gets me is if I said I was proud of having my baby girl circ'd (which I would never do of course) and that it was a personal parental decision those same people would jump all over me as a child abuser. So why is the mutilation of your baby boy somethign to be proud of but the mutilation of a baby girl is a heinous crime?

I'm sorry if this had nothing to do with your question, it has just been eating me up in side. I long for the day when MGM is illegal just like FGM.
I think we are on the same other board. I can't believe someone would be proud of such an atrocity!!!
post #4 of 23
Ditto the others. I'm on the other board is well and it's honestly just sickening to me that someone would be PROUD to have cut part of their son's genitals off. I don't understand. Poor sweet babies.
post #5 of 23

FGM and male circ not the same

Female genital mutilation is not the same thing as male circumcision. Female genital circumcision or Female genital mutilation is generally the removal of the clitoris and often times much of the outer and some inner labia. In addition to the, FGM is often done under horrific and unsanitary conditions. This is clearly distinguishable from how the male circs are done (at least in our culture). FGM is done to eliminate the possibility of sexual pleasure for women and is used as a form of domination over women. These aspects also are not present in the case of male circ. FGM ought to be criminal because it truly is heinous, dangerous assault upon another . Male circ does not even close to being comparable in the violence and violation put upon another. I am not saying that male circumcision is not a violation of a child, but it is irresponsible to analogize the two.
post #6 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by love4her View Post
Female genital mutilation is not the same thing as male circumcision. Female genital circumcision or Female genital mutilation is generally the removal of the clitoris and often times much of the outer and some inner labia. In addition to the, FGM is often done under horrific and unsanitary conditions. This is clearly distinguishable from how the male circs are done (at least in our culture). FGM is done to eliminate the possibility of sexual pleasure for women and is used as a form of domination over women. These aspects also are not present in the case of male circ. FGM ought to be criminal because it truly is heinous, dangerous assault upon another . Male circ does not even close to being comparable in the violence and violation put upon another. I am not saying that male circumcision is not a violation of a child, but it is irresponsible to analogize the two.
(Sigh) Not most cases of FGM actually. Someone else could explain that more thoroughly than me. Let's not get so defensive because male circ and female circ are both bad things and are intolerable as far as I see it. Being proud of circumcising your son would be just as sick as if it were pride over your daughter's circ. Even moreso if it was the infibulation type. But guess what, there are moms in places in Africa who likely do get a sense of pride over this (and some don't even practice it on their males, which they likely see as silly in the same way Americans find it acceptable one way and twisted the other). No one devalues the devestation of FGM and its severe forms. But there are those rare occasions when the docs mess up a male circ and it turns out to be just as much suffering and mutiliation as some female circ.
post #7 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by love4her View Post
Female genital mutilation is not the same thing as male circumcision. Female genital circumcision or Female genital mutilation is generally the removal of the clitoris and often times much of the outer and some inner labia. In addition to the, FGM is often done under horrific and unsanitary conditions. This is clearly distinguishable from how the male circs are done (at least in our culture). FGM is done to eliminate the possibility of sexual pleasure for women and is used as a form of domination over women. These aspects also are not present in the case of male circ. FGM ought to be criminal because it truly is heinous, dangerous assault upon another . Male circ does not even close to being comparable in the violence and violation put upon another. I am not saying that male circumcision is not a violation of a child, but it is irresponsible to analogize the two.
Many female circs only remove the clitoral hood and are done in sterile doctor's offices, which makes them a fair comparison to RIC done in this country. There exist more sever forms of MGM, where sharp objects get incerted up the urethra and the penis is split sort of like butterflying shrimp, that are comperable to the FGM you describe.

It isn't about how it is done but whether male and female babies have equal rights.
post #8 of 23
People need to read here awhile so they don't stumble into the cultural trap of thinking FGM is worse than MGM.

Do you know, love4her, that circumcision became popular in Victorian times to prevent boys from masturbation? They knew the foreskin was the best part of the penis so they cut it off so boys wouldn't have the pleasure of it and wouldn't want to masturbate. They though orgasms were bad. They also used to circumcise women for the same reasons.

Did you also know that circumcised women are able to have orgasms and report satisfying sex lives? Did you know that some circumcised men are not able to have orgasms and find sex painful?

They don't seem so different now, do they?
post #9 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by love4her View Post
Female genital mutilation is not the same thing as male circumcision.
Welcome to the Case Against Circ! You have come to the right place to learn about both FGM and MGM. There are a lot of things that you probably don't know about both.

Quote:
Female genital circumcision or Female genital mutilation is generally the removal of the clitoris and often times much of the outer and some inner labia.
From the World Health Organisation:

Quote:
What is female genital mutilation?

Female genital mutilation (FGM), often referred to as 'female circumcision', comprises all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reasons. There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today. They include:

* Type I - excision of the prepuce, with or without excision of part or all of the clitoris;
* Type II - excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora;
* Type III - excision of part or all of the external genitalia and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (infibulation);
* Type IV - pricking, piercing or incising of the clitoris and/or labia; stretching of the clitoris and/or labia; cauterization by burning of the clitoris and surrounding tissue;
* scraping of tissue surrounding the vaginal orifice (angurya cuts) or cutting of the vagina (gishiri cuts);
* introduction of corrosive substances or herbs into the vagina to cause bleeding or for the purpose of tightening or narrowing it; and any other procedure that falls under the definition given above.

The most common type of female genital mutilation is excision of the clitoris and the labia minora, accounting for up to 80% of all cases; the most extreme form is infibulation, which constitutes about 15% of all procedures.
Quote:
In addition to the, FGM is often done under horrific and unsanitary conditions. This is clearly distinguishable from how the male circs are done (at least in our culture).
It is true that in most instances, FGM is performed under unsanitary conditions that compounds the harm because of infections, scarring, etc. However, you should be aware that hospitals are hardly sterile places, and many baby boys IN THIS COUNTRY get infections -- such as from MRSA, the "flesh eating" bacteria -- because of hospital circumcisions every year.

Quote:
FGM is done to eliminate the possibility of sexual pleasure for women and is used as a form of domination over women. These aspects also are not present in the case of male circ. FGM ought to be criminal because it truly is heinous, dangerous assault upon another.
Again, only partially true. The reasons that women give for circing their dds are almost exactly the same as the reasons parents give for circing their sons. Read this article by Hanny Lightfoot-Klein, one of the leading researchers on FGM in Africa, who studied attitudes towards FGM:

http://www.nocirc.org/symposia/third/hanny3.html

Here's the table alone, in an easy to read format, comparing attitudes:

http://www.fgmnetwork.org/intro/mgmfgm.html

Also, you should know that circumcised women report enjoying sex and orgasming -- even, shockingly to me, infibulated women. This may be because the external clitoris is only a small part of the clitoris as a whole, so that when it is removed, a large part but not ALL of the nerve endings are removed, and orgasm is still possible.

Male circumcision removes HALF of the nerve endings of the penis, and destroys the penis' natural functioning. Yes, it still works -- and men still orgasm -- but half the nerves gone and all of the gliding action of the natural foreskin means less sexual pleasure.

Further, as a PP mentioned, it was EXACTLY for the reason of decreasing sexual pleasure and discouraging masturbation that male non-religious circumcision got started in this country. It was for hygiene reasons -- moral hygiene, meaning sexual purity/no masturbation -- not physical hygiene reasons that Victorian-era doctors started promoting circumcision.

These are just a few illustrative quotations:

Quote:
1860"In cases of masturbation we must, I believe, break the habit by inducing such a condition of the parts as will cause too much local suffering to allow of the practice to be continued. For this purpose, if the prepuce is long, we may circumcise the male patient with present and probably with future advantages; the operation, too, should not be performed under chloroform, so that the pain experienced may be associated with the habit we wish to eradicate."

On An Injurious Habit Occasionally Met with in Infancy and Early Childhood, Athol A. W. Johnson. The Lancet, vol. 1 (7 April 1860): pp. 344-345.

"There can be no doubt of [masturbation's] injurous effect, and of the proneness to practice it on the part of children with defective brains. Circumcision should always be practiced. It may be necessary to make the genitals so sore by blistering fluids that pain results from attempts to rub the parts."

Angel Money. Treatment of Disease In Children.Philidelphia: P. Blakiston, 1887. p.421.

1888 "A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed without administering anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutory effect upon the mind, especially, if it is connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases."

John Harvey Kellog, creator of the Corn Flake, Treatment for Self-Abuse and Its Effects, Plain Facts for Old and Young," Burlington, Iowa: P. Segner & Co. 1888, p. 295.

1895"In all cases of masturbation circumcision is undoubtedly the physician's closest friend and ally... To obtain the best results one must cut away enough skin and mucous membrane to rather put it on the stretch when erections come later. There must be no play in the skin after the wound has thoroughly healed, but it must fit tightly over the penis, for should there be any play the patient will be found to readily resume his practice, not begrudging the time and extra energy required to produce the orgasm. It is true, however, that the longer it takes to have an orgasm, the less frequently it will be attempted, consequently the greater the benefit gained... The younger the patient operated upon the more pronounced the benefit, though occasionally we find patients who were circumcised before puberty that require a resection of the skin, as it has grown loose and pliant after that epoch."

E.J.Spratling, Masturbation in the Adult, Medical Record, vol. 24. (1895): pp. 442-443.

1900"Finally, circumcision probably tends to increase the power of sexual control. The only physiological advantage which the prepuce can be supposed to confer is that of maintaining the penis in a condition susceptible to more acute sensation than would otherwise exist. It may increase the pleasure of intercourse and the impulse to it: but these are advantages which in the present state of society can well be spared. If in their loss increase in sexual control should result, one should be thankful."

Editor, Medical News. Our London Letter. Medical World,(1900).vol.77p.707-8

1900"It has been urged as an argument against the universal adoption of circumcision that the removal of the protective covering of the glans tends to dull the sensitivity of that exquisitly sensitive structure and thereby diminishes sexual appetite and the pleasurable effects of coitus. Granted that this be true, my answer is that, whatever may have been the case in days gone by, sensuality in our time needs neither whip nor spur, but would be all the better for a little more judicious use of curb and bearing-rein."

E. Harding Freeland, Circumcision as a Preventative of Syphilis and Other Disorders, The Lancet, vol. 2 (29 Dec. 1900): pp.1869-1871.

1901"Another advantage of circumcision... is the lessened liability to masturbation. A long foreskin is irritating per se, as it necessitates more manipulation of the parts in bathing... This leads the child to handle the parts, and as a rule, pleasurable sensations are elicited from the extreamly sensitive mucous membrane, with resultant manipulation and masturbation. The exposure of the glans penis following circumcision ... lessens the sensitiveness of the organ... It therefore lies with the physician, the family adviser in affairs of hygiene and medical, to urge its acceptance."

Ernest G. Mark, Circumcision, American Practitioner and News, vol. 31 (1901): p. 231.
From www.circumcisionquotes.com

Quote:
Male circ does not even close to being comparable in the violence and violation put upon another. I am not saying that male circumcision is not a violation of a child, but it is irresponsible to analogize the two.
I disagree. It is always a human rights violation to cut off part of a child's genitals, whether with a rusty razor blade in a remote African village or with a sterile scalpel in an American hospital. Yes, FGM can often be more harmful in its extreme forms -- but MGM is exactly as violent in that the baby boy is tied down and his penis is skinned against his will.

Have you watched a baby boy being circed? Watch this and then tell me the little baby boy is not suffering as much as any girl who is cut:

http://www.intact.ca/vidintro.htm
post #10 of 23
I think thats what we have to focus on. Whether male and female circ are exactly the same surgery wise, amount of skin wise, or anatomy wise, is irrelevant to me in the end. All I care about is that a part of a child's body is being taken from them unnecessarily WITHOUT their consent, and it MAY cause them detriment in their later life.
post #11 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post
Do you know, love4her, that circumcision became popular in Victorian times to prevent boys from masturbation? They knew the foreskin was the best part of the penis so they cut it off so boys wouldn't have the pleasure of it and wouldn't want to masturbate. They though orgasms were bad. They also used to circumcise women for the same reasons.
and don't forget that FGM was legal and covered by insurance here (U.S.) until just a few short years ago.
post #12 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ndunn View Post
I think thats what we have to focus on. Whether male and female circ are exactly the same surgery wise, amount of skin wise, or anatomy wise, is irrelevant to me in the end. All I care about is that a part of a child's body is being taken from them unnecessarily WITHOUT their consent, and it MAY cause them detriment in their later life.

agreed. In essence the two are the same, both rob the person of parts of their body and that is wrong. We could argue the specifics but it doesnt make a difference, whats wrong is wrong and barbaric. End of subject.


And to answer the OP yeah the lack of guilt makes me sick. I have actually had someone ask me "does this look normal" and point to their kids penis (to which I played ignorant, I dont talk bad about a childs body in their presence, sheesh, why do people think that acceptable?) but anyway I said "I dont know my kids are circed" and she looked at me like I had two heads and said "oh you mean they arent cricumsized, (said proudly) well my son is" of course this is the same person who said she had to wean her son when he was 4 weeks old because her 4 year old was pretending to breastfeed her dolls and she couldnt have that *sigh* some peoples stupidity is mind boggling.
post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommymarliah View Post
of course this is the same person who said she had to wean her son when he was 4 weeks old because her 4 year old was pretending to breastfeed her dolls and she couldnt have that *sigh* some peoples stupidity is mind boggling.
WAAAAY OT:

I gotta say, watching my DD try to BF her dolls is the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

Now that is something to be proud of...and I am
post #14 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommymarliah View Post
but anyway I said "I dont know my kids are circed" and she looked at me like I had two heads
Did you mean to say aren't? The post makes more sence if that's a typo.
post #15 of 23
I know how you feel OP. It boggles my mind and make s me sick all at once.
What i don't understand is how it is compared to FGM. if you look at the definintion of 'mutilation' you get:

mu‧ti‧late  /ˈmyutlˌeɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[myoot-l-eyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–verb (used with object), -lat‧ed, -lat‧ing. 1. to injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts: Vandals mutilated the painting.
2. to deprive (a person or animal) of a limb or other essential part.


sounds like the same to me. ( RIC and FGM) For all of you who think it is NOT okay ( FGM) if they did it the days following a birth in a hospital setting would that make it okay? Is that why RIC is okay for you? I really am confused by it all. If you want to look at it from a medical point of view, they are the same surgery and compared to each other as being each others counterpart. I find it odd thought that male circumcision is not refered to as mutilation but in females it is:

genital mutilation
n.
The cutting or excision of all or some of the genital organs, especially ritualistic clitoridectomy.


WHY can't they put circumcision on the def. as well!?


I can't beleive people are allowed to defend ROUTINE circumsion here or on any other forum, Mothering makes it clear how they stand on it.

Thats my two cents worth for what it is worth!
post #16 of 23
Thread Starter 
wow, I've learned a lot more than I thought I would with this post--thank you EVERYONE for posting!

sarah
post #17 of 23
There was some threads on a few boards about this. I am sorry, but it is just sick to be proud of mutilating your child! One mother (in horrible english) said she doesn't regret, you can't get cancer on something you don't have. Of course I doubt she has had a double mastecomy to prevent herself from getting breast cancer, but that is the reasoning she uses for circing? I had always wanted to buy something from her HC store, but no way am I doing it now!
post #18 of 23
Oh yeah. If you come here to 'educate' us about FGM you will get an earful.
post #19 of 23
What makes me sad though is that I feel very unwelcome now because I said my 2 cents and got called a bunch of names for it. I'm sorry but I don't see how me saying FACTS is bad but then people who support circ or people who are defending others calling me names is OK.
post #20 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ndunn View Post
What makes me sad though is that I feel very unwelcome now because I said my 2 cents and got called a bunch of names for it. I'm sorry but I don't see how me saying FACTS is bad but then people who support circ or people who are defending others calling me names is OK.
People get really ugly sometimes when you tell them a truth they don't want to hear.

You should definitely report it to that board's mods, assuming name-calling is against the rules.
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