How do I convince DH?

[junipermuse]

I'm due to give birth to my first child in January, and I have been doing a lot of thinking and research and I don't want to vaccinate my baby. I would consider doing it in a modified way on a delayed schedule and not all of the vaccines out there, but I definitely don't want to go along with the typical schedule endorsed by the government.
The problem is my husband doesn't agree with me. He doesn't believe there is enough proof that vaccines are harmful and he says that we should just give the baby whatever vaccines the doctor tells us to. I've bought several books on the subject, but he won't read them. I don't know what to say to convince him that vaccines could likely do our child harm. Also we haven't found a pediatrician yet, and I'm worried about finding one that supports this decision. I feel like my husband and the doctor are just going to gang up on me and I won't have a leg to stand on. What should I do? I'd appreciate any advice anyone has.

[tiffer23]

Make him research and present it to you to "convince you."

My DH wants DS vaxed as he's suppose to be, but he won't research anything, so right now we go by what I want since I AM researching. And I'd say that both parties need to research both sides!

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

It sounds to me as if your dh doesn't want the burden of that decision...he wants to put it on the doctor. I think this is common among most parents who vaccinate (I don't need to be flamed from vaxers for this. you are here, which means you have looked into the issue to some degree or another, which is not the case with most people. they don't know and don't want to know). Most of us were raised to have full trust and confidence in our doctors. Why would you even think about questioning or doubting the advice of your pediatrician?

Imo, continue to do your research. Drop a few things on him here and there. If he's still that adamant, at least try to get him to agree to delay the Hep B shot at birth until a little later. Talk to him about how you want those first couple of days to make sure your child is healthy - that should anything be wrong, you want to be able to eliminate the vaccination as a possibility. Then, do whatever you feel is right. Go to the appts yourself, as most of us mothers do. If you don't discuss it with him, then he won't know if the schedule is right or wrong, will he? I know that sounds deceitful, but if my dh doesn't want to have to ability to make the right decision, then he has lost the right to make that decision for my child. And, some decisions he has left up to me because he doesn't want to take the time to educate himself. We then discuss what I've learned, he gives his feedback and we usually do what I recommend. That's just how the roles have worked out for us, though, as he goes to work for 70 hrs a week.

However, he was completely for vaccinating and vaccinating on schedule when I first started my journey into vaccination/disease education. Give it some time and have small, infrequent discussions about what you are learning. It also helped that my dh had the opportunity to discuss this with another set of parents who are educated and already didn't vaccinate. When he heard the same stuff I was telling him (and a whole lot more) from a sane person he respected who's child was alive and healthy, he started to come around. Now he's a huge supporter and advocate of not vaccinating. He's still never read one book (correction - he's read about 1/2 of How To Raise A Healthy Child In Spite Of Your Doctor...4yrs later).