November dating thread

[BelovedK]

Have at it mamas...This is the place to be if you want to discuss dating, and issues surrounding it that don't have to involve parenting...Just chit chat as well as genuine concerns.


As for me, I rejoined match.com, and single parent meet...I'm ready to date, but wary of it at the same time. I don't feel desperate, but just want to see what's out there.

I 'met' this guy named Stuart. He seemed perfect in every way, he was even on Tribe and is familiar with firedancing and some of the other things i like...We emailed a few times, hit it off, then he just stopped emailing me Maybe he read my blog :

[stirringleaf]

(I am responding to posts in the October therad, if anyone knew is wondering what i am talking about below)

wow mountain. which guy was it anyway? the coffee shop one? thats amazing i am happy for you. dont worry about your ex messing things up. he is not going on dates with you, right?

i am happy for you, it makes me a tiny bit wistful, but i am truly still happy where i am at... i love this thread it will be so cool to read it a year from now or somthing, its like a journal

YAY NOVEMBER !

[MommytoB]

Found a perfect guy but I can't talk lol

Well, my brother has this one 'way attractive friend' he's really good looking and everything even with a lil light short beard

My brother got married Saturday and his dinner rehersal was Friday. So I had met this guy of my brother's friend last halloween at the airport thought he was good looking but figured he was too young so then this guy is at my brother's dinner rehersal' he's not married , is short like 5'5 and i'm 5'2. He says he prefers shorter women. I always had thing for Richard Simmons and that who he was being for "halloween'.

Plus what was so funny he kept ordering the 'same thing I was ordering ' plus he does not 'drink alchol drinks at all so neither do I.

Plus, he's funny, friendly & outgoing and he already met half my family and he likes them . So he's quite family oriented .

Sigh, he has 'my curiousity' but i'm one who 'can't even say "Hi".

I'm wondering is he 'my brother age' or younger or possibly slightly older.

I would think it would be as of 'ridicule' of my 'family' if I had took an interest in to him.

I saw him look very adoring at my son .

[MsChatsAlot]

Go for it!

Life is too short to waste opportunities to meet or pursue someone we are interested in. If it's meant to be, everything will fall into place. If it's not, you'll both move on. But why not try?

[Bad Mama Jama]

Here! Here! Sometimes, we can't wait on someone to notice us. Hell, they may be shy, too. Speak up. The only failure is in not trying. Give it a whirl! I'm living vicariously through you. : : Good luck, mama!

[StephandOwen]

I've just gotta ask..... where the heck are you single mamas meeting guys?!? I know I'm a lot more "choosy" now, but geez.... looking at the guys around here is a bit depressing. It sucks to live in a small town :

[Jster]

I'd give it a try! Ask your brother more about him, he might be happy to play matchmaker and give you some important info (age, habits, etc.) About family...I think it really depends. In some ways, I think my family sees me as a bit off for having a relationship now, but that's there issue, not mine, I'm at the absolute perfect place in my life right now and wouldn't change a thing! Plus it's no use worrying about something that may or may not happen...you never know.

Good luck!

[pranamama]

I hope you do something and I want to hear all about it

[Jster]

I actually met the amazing man I'm with on yahoo personals...go figure, I just barely was looking there, but hey, having options is good, right? I looked at a lot of personals actually, but not much struck my interest, mostly it gave me chances to practice being social again and also see what variety is in life (in a good way). Here are the sites I had profiles on, some for no more than a week: eharmony, match.com, yahoo personals, okcupid, and craigslist. I only ever paid for the yahoo personals...best $25 I've ever spent in my life!! Hehehe...

Life is good, November is beautiful, and I'm feeling such peace. Not just the relationship, it's a larger good place I've found, with school being meaningful, and other parts of my life balanced and interesting, the girls are doing well and oh so sweet...

Mountain, your Halloween night sounds exciting, how do you feel about him?

[mystic~mama]

hey mamas,,,I havent had the energy to reply back in the Oct thread and just stopped in here to say hi I guess,,,I skimmed the threads,,I've been sick and pretty low energy right now hopefully I should be better in the next few days to catch up and post regarding the situation w/my sweetie here...our trip went really well and was very bonding for us (dd included)...blessings and peace all~~~

I'm back already,,,needing to stay downstairs right now while dd gets to sleep, she is doing very well w/sleeping on her own and weaning...I just posted something in CLW about my experience which led me over here. I printed up your reply Jster and read it many times while we were away,,,dp and I also discussed it w/eachother....to answer a question, our communication has been very open and a priority since his return. It has been a lot of change that is so true,,,its change I am happy to embrace,,,he is challenging parts of me that really need and want it,,,I'm being invited and encouraged to get out of my shell and face my fears which I did over the weekend and it felt so good. It was a wonderful experience for dd and I and she has been so much sweeter since....she totally loves dp and wants him around. We read the parenting book together as we drove our of town and discussed just as we do with a tantra book. I know that I am not weaning because of my relationship but also, my realtionship has given me the support I have needed to do some thing that has been needing to be done for the happiness of both dd and I. It has been a lot of change for dd,,,,good change...I've been parenting by myself and definitely need this love and support,,,it is totally meant to be for us all. DD wants nothing more than people in her life loving her,,,she needs loving men in her life and so do I and we have more than ever now and it feels right...not easy at all but so worth it and wanted. The parenting practices I was doing were not working for me, I was being pushed around and treated bad by dd, she didnt respect me,,,since having the love and support of my sweetie I've been able to make so much improvement...he is not perfect,,,we are seeing eachothers difficult sides and we also love eachother more than ever...it is not easy blending our lives, I'm making comprimises and so is he...thats all I can say now...my heart and soul tell me all is as it should be.

blessings~

[Blue Dragonfly]

I thought I would share my "dating" experiences - for a laugh.

I have been separated from H since June (he's been sleeping w. someone else since January.) So the separation was for my mental health, not because I wanted out of the marriage. Consequently I have been having a hard time getting my head around the "me dating" thing, even though I am lonely and would like some male energy in my life (not necessarily a relationship that was going somewhere.)

So the first time I went to the bar w. girlfriends, I was really weirded out - partly because I hadn't been in that sort of environment for a good 9 months, and partly because it was the first time in 10 years I could have taken someone home if I really wanted to (H was watching the children at my place and I threatened to bring someone home, plus a pair of ear plugs ). The only guy that talked to me was nearly HALF MY AGE. (That made 36 feel really old - slightly flattered, but really old.) It was worse than junior high. Not only did I not have anything to talk to him about, but we had nothing in common that I could even make crap up about. That made me decide I am not ready to date.:

But apparently my subconsious is working on this, because I keep dreaming about men. One of my most recent dreams was about a guy I used to make out with in high school. IRL I was kind of creeped out by him, even though he was a great kisser (but he was a bit slimy). In my dream I wouldn't let me touch me - except with his toes! And he could do amazing things with his TOES!!

Last night I dreamed I was provided with a male prostitute by some friends. And my mother had kicked in some money as well. In the second half of the dream, I had asked out this guy (who IRLI sort of have a crush on). Somehow he ended up being much shorter than I though he was and was only half as tall as me. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I continued the date.

And a few months ago, I had an orgasmic dream (kind of loved that part) about a local politician who I find extreemly disturbing (think GWB with an admitted drinking problem, a drinkers nose and a pot belly.) THAT was weird. I laughed about it for days.

[MsChatsAlot]

Well ladies....
I am back on the market again.

I had an amazing relationship that was healthy and loving and mutually respectful. We connected in every way possible and there was really never a point where one of us felt more than the other. It was quite amazing to just feel secure and confident and happy in a relationship and really enjoy every moment along the way. Unfortunately...timing did not work in our favor and we have parted ways.

It was very difficult for me to realize that things needed to end, but I know it needs to be this way. I have spent some time grieving and working to heal. I feel better now that some time has passed, but also know there is a part of me that still really misses him and what we had. I know that will heal more with time.

So...I am taking time to heal and move on before I even consider another relationship. But ultimately, I feel blessed to have had the time together with him, blessed to have experienced a 'healthy' relationship and know it exists. Now I know exactly what to strive for again!

Just thought I'd update everyone.

[Lucy VanPelt]

Aaaawww...MsChats. I'm so happy you got that experience, too!

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

But ultimately, I feel blessed to have had the time together with him, blessed to have experienced a 'healthy' relationship and know it exists. Now I know exactly what to strive for again!

Way to find the rainbow in the clouds, MsChatsAlot!

You are a very insightful and wise woman that never ceases to impress me.

[Holland73]

Mystic~mama: I have been where you are at now with your partner. My partner and I have been through very similar transitions in the beginning of our relationship also.

It is so wonderful that your bf is willing to read the books with you, communicate his concerns and thoughts and reflect on both. It is wonderful having a partner to work with, but it is a difficult transition when you have been a single mommy for awhile without any support and/or outside viewpoints.

The situation can be challenging and require you to look inwardly at yourself and your parenting choices/skills/etc. Additionally, when you have a been a single mommy for awhile, compromise takes a bit more work than you might expect it to.

[MsChatsAlot]

Thanks.

[MommytoB]

Well, funny thing since I'm afraid to 'end up asking my 'brother' of what you could call a 'best friend' I'm like since a lady who lives up on top and watches her grandchildren while her 'daughter 'actually' works along the side of my 'brother' well I had asked her about if she knew of her daughter being-co-workers she goes I just found that out. I told her I found a guy who seems to be really cute but he's friends with my 'brother and I don't think or know if he could be available . She goes does he work with him I go he might still but he did at the airport. So she goes 'what is his name - i tell her and then that lady who lives right in the apartment above me says I think I Met him . I could 'ask my daughter about him . But she says it's good that I seem to have a interst in 'future dating since it's been like 5 yrs since I did any dating .

So then I'm like going golly gee what if he's not available or what if he just does -talk- but he sounds like as if he is not -free- or possibly in the dating scene but oh i wanna see if we could connect but oh but if he is taken with a 'relationship' oh well then that would be 'true the good one's are taken.

[Jster]

mysticmama, thanks for your post! Glad you had a nice weekend, and it sounds like things are going really well! I very much know what you mean about realizing you aren't in the best parenting relationship with your child and how nice it is to have help/support/encouragement to change it. It really does make a huge difference, and I'm glad that you have a partner in the true sense of the word My concern had just been that you sounded reluctant, and that it seemed like a lot of changes all at once for your daughter, but I understand how sometimes we get to that point (at least I do) as a parent where we've been kind of taking abuse/discomfort from our child for a long time, under the guise of gentleness but really out of fear or timidness, and it's not good for the child either. I'm glad you've found a path you all are comfortable with, and that things are still going well!

MsChats, ! I'm glad you had such a relationship, too, and had a chance to see the peacefulness in a respectful, adult relationship. Thanks for sharing with us, and good luck in finding a great relationship down the road!

Rebecca, I couldn't help but laugh at all your dating/dreaming adventures, how funny! Seems like since all the men in your "dreams" (literal, not figurative!) have such huge flaws, that maybe you've got some fears to work through about the hidden nature of people. But hey, at least it's fun!

[JustVanessa]

Well I think I am ready to call my "friend" my boyfriend. On halloween (stbx had ds overnight) I went out to his place and watched fireworks from his backyard and afterwards he made me hot chocolate. It was amazing. We did end up being intimate and it was great. Alot different than stbx (not a bad thing).

I am so happy.

[stirringleaf]

i just had a semi-strange evening. it was ok...

i have a friend who told me that two of his friends are attracted to me? i think my friend is exaggerating he is sort of cheesy about the whole dating thing. plus HE was , as he put it, inlove with me last summer ( he is super awesome but we have been friends 8 years and i love him but can only picture us as friends) so i dont know how much stock to put in his comments, but ..

tonight he invited friends over and those two friends were there. one of them is a single dad. he seems really nice but he is so very quiet---a scorpio... i am very attracted to scorpios ALWAYS ...anyway he is so quiet i cant really gather much about his personality. he is attractive and everything but since i am not all eager about dating, i am really way more picky than i was last summer and want to know his personality way more before i can be attracted. i want advice: do i ask him on an actual date? i dont want to make it seem like i am more attracted than i am, but i would like to talk to him one-on one, since that seems a better way to know him... but i dont want him to get the wrong idea.

then the other person is a woman, and she is marrried! i was in SHOCK when my friend , who hangs out with her alot, said she was attracted to me and wanted me to hang out with them sometime. i am still complelty in the dark about that whole concept, but tonight, unless my perspective was just colored by my friend's comments to me, i think she was flrting with me? so weird. she is awesome and very beautful, but like i said, married. so that was slightly awkward since her DW was there too, and i felt like i was being flirted with?

anyway normally this would make me all high with the flattery, but right now i am just sort of confused.

plus, still in love with guy from the summer. he called me this week and we talked alot on the phone so i left a message tonight to see if he wanted to hang out ..., he didnt call back. i am not tryi9ng to "be " with him either, but i just like him.. i just wish the awkwardness of that could go away so i could just be around him...i of course have feelings but i also wouldnt push them on him--is that weird of me to want to be friends even though i have these feelings? i know they will never be returned, but i am OK with that. i mean it hurts, but it hurts more not being able to just be friends . KWIM?

ok thats my lonnngggggggg ramble for anyone who cares/dares to read: