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November dating thread - Page 5

post #81 of 164
BelovedK, HA! That's sooo cool! Good luck! Sometimes it just takes the right vibe and the right interest...amazing what that does, when someone has a healthy but passionate interest in you!

Mountain, it is so hard to sort it all out, but if you keep listening to yourself it'll be fine! Now I'm curious about your dream,

sahm, the online thing can be fun, sounds like you've got a balanced attitude!!

Cassafras, I agree with being honest about your expectations. And just ftr, the shrek thing doesn't offend me as much as it seems to bother others (But if it would bother him, that might matter). After all, Shrek turned out to be a pretty great guy!!

As for me...the banquet was fun, but I ended up being rather overdressed. Still, it was just fun to be there with my beau. He's so wonderful and dear to me... It's funny you should mention moving in Mountain, because we're almost at that point in practicality if not in actuality, but I kno wthere is a very important line there. Anyways, I'm not rushing anything, I'm just enjoying the progress.
post #82 of 164
BelovedK, I agree...that is SOOOO cool!

Good luck and have some fun!
post #83 of 164
beloved k WOWIE ZOWIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was it just his number, or a note? if a note , tell us what it said !!!!!!!:
post #84 of 164
Wow, BelovedK...that is an interesting place to meet someone, hm? What DID the note say?

I have news...even though I am new to this thread there has been no news in my life for a long time! A little background is necessary. I found a profile of an interesting looking guy on myspace about 9 months ago. It was a total accident. I wasn't looking to date. I was seeking a hs friend with the same name living in my area. I found this guy to be so cute and apparently funny from his info, that I sent him a message. Out.of.character for me. I was so flipping awkward when I sent him this message...just to say hi and that his profile made me smile. After we exchanged a couple of messages I asked him for coffee and a walk (I think this was the first time I ever asked any man out). I had told him that I was just seeking a friend, which was true at the time even though I found his photos attractive. Seeking a friend is always true...the rest will evolve or no, right? Well, he told me he didn't have the same intentions, but was polite and thanked me for the invite. That was the end of that.

The other day I was curiously looking at the yahoo personals. I don't have a profile, but was just looking. The first page...there.he.was! I thought it too much of a coincidence. I went back to myspace and told him I'd seen his profile. I playfully said, "Hi! I'm the girl you didn't want to go for a walk with..." I was upfront this time and told him I was thinking of dating. We exchanged messages and I forwarded him a more recent/ every day looking pic (my userpic is a professional photo). He complimented me on my humor, my writing, and my pic... We've been exchanging the funnest, sweetest emails. He gave me his number and told me he'd like to meet if I felt comfortable with that. He also said he enjoyed our e-friendship and writing and said it was okay if I wanted to keep things there. He insists that if and when I do want to meet that I choose a place I feel comfortable. So sweet, hm? AND CUTE! CEEEUTE! I seriously have found next to no attraction to anyone in awhile so if nothing else this is totally refreshing!

So...I think I'm gonna call him...tomorrow. I'm NERVOUS! He gave me his number twice.

My biggest fear is that I am unsavvy in the land of dating and have no idea what is or is not protocol. ADVICE?

I feel like I'll do better if I'm drinking a glass of wine, so I think I'll ask him to meet me for drinks and appetizers. Who pays? How do you handle that. Should I offer to pay?

post #85 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyedsol View Post
My biggest fear is that I am unsavvy in the land of dating and have no idea what is or is not protocol. ADVICE?

I feel like I'll do better if I'm drinking a glass of wine, so I think I'll ask him to meet me for drinks and appetizers. Who pays? How do you handle that. Should I offer to pay?

Wow...those are some crazy coincidences. Kinda cool...I think.

My advice...just have fun. Think of the date as just going out with a new friend...that you are really looking forward to getting to know better.

As for the "who pays?" Don't determine that now. Try not to even think about it. Just bring enough to make sure you are covered if you have to pay. Then, see what happens when the bill comes.

Honestly, on all my first dates, I have never had a man NOT pay. I have been very fortunate, as I know that is not the case with many of my girlfriends. But, I always offer to cover the tip.

If the date has been going well, I will make a comment about the next time being on me.

Just go with the flow and see what happens.

Have fun, have fun, have fun!!!!
post #86 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyedsol View Post
Well, he told me he didn't have the same intentions, but was polite and thanked me for the invite. That was the end of that.
Wow...I love that honesty!!! Why can't more men be like that????

One of the greatest factors in my relationship is that both my dp and myself are VERY honest with one another. Believe it or not, it turns us both on.
post #87 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
Okay, I've finally got something to contribute.

The other day, I was taking DD to the play therapist, we went at a different hour than we would usually go. While waiting, I began a conversation with a dad who was also waiting. There was definately a *vibe* I kept hoping he would ask me for my number, he never did. He was nice looking, and sounded like he had his act together. The fact that he was also seeking play therapy for his DS was a good thing. Well, our DC both came out at the same time, it would've been awkward for him to ask in front of all of those people. I was a little dissapointed, but 'oh well' it must not have been meant to be

When I got to my car, there was his number.
Wow I am so happy for you....... I got tothae endd part and woo hooed for ya!!!!!
post #88 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyedsol View Post
So...I think I'm gonna call him...tomorrow. I'm NERVOUS! He gave me his number twice.

My biggest fear is that I am unsavvy in the land of dating and have no idea what is or is not protocol. ADVICE?

I feel like I'll do better if I'm drinking a glass of wine, so I think I'll ask him to meet me for drinks and appetizers. Who pays? How do you handle that. Should I offer to pay?

Wow that is great..... I don't beleive in coincedences, Just fate...for everyday l;ife not just dating. If anything else you could have just made a really cool new friend....YEA!
post #89 of 164
Oh, wow! I'm smiling from reading this stuff. How great!

belovedK, enjoy! That is such a great thing...so cute and sexy. I love it! Have fun with him.

browneyedsol, such kismet! I believe that whomever invites, pays. My girlfriends and I do this, too, so it's not about gender. I think if it's important for him to pay, he'll figure it out, but you should pay if you ask. Such fun! I'm so happy for you! ANd, him!
post #90 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy VanPelt View Post
I believe that whomever invites, pays. My girlfriends and I do this, too, so it's not about gender.
Wow...I wanna be your friend and have you invite me out.

This would never work for me. I often invite my friends out because I love to spend time with them, but if I was expected to pay for everyone because I invited them, I would never be able to invite them to go anywhere with me. As a single, student mama...it would be very hard for me to pay for myself and the other person(s).

BUT, at the same time, if (and when) I had the money I would pay for them all.

With my friends, we often just split the bill by how many people there are. So, if the bill was $30 and there were 3 of us...we would each pay $10.
post #91 of 164
Okay ladies, still trying to get up the nerve to call him. Since he insisted I pick the place, I sent him an email with 2 dates and suggestions. Since it's turkey week, I wanted to give a during the week brunch option...and a wine/ale/dessert evening option. I hope he goes for the latter. I sent my cell number, but told him I'd call...

I'm trying to lighten up about this. Like I said, just the new territory makes this worth it, even if he doesn't think I'm all that when we meet.

My mom said today, "If he's 33 and has never been married and has no kids and works out of his home office there must me something wrong with him."
post #92 of 164
Oh yeah, and thanks for thoughts on paying. He asked, I picked. I'll just chill out for now and see what happens. BTW, I haven't talked about my kids and he hasn't asked. My myspace page indicates I'm a proud parent so hopefully he read carefully. His yahoo profile says he's undecided about kids. I am a little worried that he'll be freaked out by a single mom. I've noticed some men are soooo intimidated by this...but if so, whatever! Matriotism it is.
post #93 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyedsol View Post

My mom said today, "If he's 33 and has never been married and has no kids and works out of his home office there must me something wrong with him."
Wow...then she would really think there was something wrong with my dp. He is 40 (I am 33), never been married and has no kids.
post #94 of 164
Wow good thing ds is napping b/c it just took me an hour to catch up on this thread!

BelovedK- You go girl!!! Did you call him? C'mon dish the details.

browneyedsol- I don't think your new guy has something wrong with him. My bf is 39 with no kids and he is pretty normal

Cassafras- I agree with pp about being very upfront with him about not being interested in him. I know how you feel about getting the attention, but if you honestly care about him as a friend maybe some space between you two would be a good thing.

Jster- Glad you had fun at the party!

My life is super crazy right now...see my other thread in SingleParenting. Things are good with my new bf. Its the kind of relationship that just keeps getting better and better. The more I find out about him, the more I like. I think it is getting serious a little too quickly though. He has mentioned moving in with him, and I was freaked! Yes, he is amazing, but I only split up with stbx in July. I need to be on my own for a while longer before I can even consider doing something like that. I told him that we could revaluate the situation after my divorce goes through. That won't be until July. That gives us lots of time to REALLY get to know each other etc. He said that it was fine and he would wait until ds and I were ready. No pressure at all He is going to travel with me and ds at Christmas to see my mom and her partner. That should be lots of fun. My mom is a little weirded out b/c bf is only 6 years younger than her, but I know she will love him to bits.
post #95 of 164
Hi mamas thanks for the adice. I'm a bit suprised that so many came down a little harder on me that I expected about the Shrek thing. Shrek had a heart of gold and it seems like this guy does too...he just seems a bit awkward looking to me, my friend thinks he's nice looking. Anyway, the last time I saw him I kept saying "I'm so glad I have a great guy FRIEND like you" I think I said friend 3 times. I'm not sure how to start a more serious conversation about our situation without just dropping hints. Wouldn't it be pretentious of me to assume he likes me in a romantic way?
post #96 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyedsol View Post
My mom said today, "If he's 33 and has never been married and has no kids and works out of his home office there must me something wrong with him."
I think it's good he's not married at 33.
I honestly don't think most men even start to grow up or mature until mid-30's-40's.

Beloved....
You go girl!!!!!
I loved that story!
post #97 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassafrass View Post
Hi mamas thanks for the adice. I'm a bit suprised that so many came down a little harder on me that I expected about the Shrek thing. Shrek had a heart of gold and it seems like this guy does too...he just seems a bit awkward looking to me, my friend thinks he's nice looking. Anyway, the last time I saw him I kept saying "I'm so glad I have a great guy FRIEND like you" I think I said friend 3 times. I'm not sure how to start a more serious conversation about our situation without just dropping hints. Wouldn't it be pretentious of me to assume he likes me in a romantic way?
i think thats good, but he might interpret it wrong if he does have a crush on you. he might think you are complimenting him because he is very special to you because he can be such a nice friend. and i guess you could wait until he actually tells you he is interested in you before you say anything else.... ican see how it would seem awkward to bring it up unless he makes an obvious gesture.

about the shrek thing, i just want you to know i dont judge you or anything, i was just trying to give you honest feedback about that, but i dont think you are evil or anything.. just trying to help you in your situation if i can, sometimes it is good to hear that stuff from an outside view. i wasnt offering feedback about it in any other way and i imagine other people here weer trying to be helpful not hurtful to you, so i hope you dont feel attacked about it.
post #98 of 164
stirringleaf, love the new siggy.

Evolution. baby.

I won't update y'all right now...it's too depressing. I need to get through my monthly freakout before I see perspective...have a beaueous day lovely mamas.
post #99 of 164
mountain,
post #100 of 164
I love reading here... It gives me so much insight about my own situation. I am not sure where I am going with this relationship, but the more that I have been away from him, the more that I realize how much I do like him. We spent the weekend together and I didn't want to leave him. Ugghhh! I have been divorced since January, but this is the 1st guy I have dated. I am scared to death! It has been 2 months and I think I may be opening up, just a little. I am kinda freaking out! lol Thanks for listenting mama's and thanks for allowing me to be here to read about you and your lives.... somehow, I can relate.
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