December dating thread - Page 6

[sahmof2girls]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

It's funny too, because I'm still legally married and have no real desire to be married again or not.....but lately, when I glance up at the magazine sections in stores...it seems like the Bridal magazines jump out at me. And I've never been fond of diamonds...but a flyer came to my house for a jewelery store and there was a big diamond engagement ring on the front and I thought, "I should just cut that ring out and put it on my finger!"

Just thought I'd share.

That is too cute.... I myself aam not a big fan of diamonds but seem to have them on my mind alot.... I say cut that ring out and wear it...Hey it's not a real diamond nothing invasive about that!!!!

[SunnyBabyIn2005]

I just got a call from my man (if I can call him that)

I was so worried after I had thought I made a big mistake with him last week that he was mad at me, but as it turns out when I had called him my cell phone reception was breaking up so he couldn't hear my # on his voice mail. So I wrote him a letter which he got today & he called!!! He's not mad at me, at all. He was just getting ready to leave to spend Christmas with his parents and it sounds like we'll be getting together once he gets back, he is also going to buy me a webcam so we can video chat, or whatever, lol. I'm beaming from ear to ear right now because I am really hoping things will work out with him, it looks like he considers us an "item" now.

[solareyna]

Congrats SunnyBabe and all those others that are having such great experiences. I have decided that its true, he's just not that into me but he probably is lonely which is why he still calls me every night. But I am resolved not to talk to him anymore until he answers my email about how he really feels and answers honestly. I don't think he'll say there is something there if there's not. Besides that, my ex is being a major a** trying to get me back and I am about ready to get a restraining order on him. But that is neither here nor there. I have met another guy and he is always telling me how pretty i am. I love the attention while trying not to let it go to my head. We haven't actually had a date yet, we just met for like five minutes but he tells me every time he calls or emails me how nice and how cute I am. I'm not going to be in a relationship where I have to pry that information out of someone. (and this guy is cute too) I have to admit that I am having fun for the first time in a long time. I am setting my boundaries and trusting my intuition and dating when my son is with his dad and moving at a pace I am comfortable with. For the first time, I feel like i ma in control of whether things progress or not. I like that feeling.

[sahmof2girls]

~solareyna~
I am so happy that you have found your pace. and it does feel good to have nice things flow out of a mans mouth about you w/o prying involved

[Jster]

Mschats, I'm always amazed at your awesome, positive perspectives on life! I like the idea of working through ex issues so you're ready for your next relationship, sounds like a positive thing! And the diamond thing,

sahmof2girls, that's cool about your relationship, enjoy it!

solareyna, sounds like it's good to know what you're looking for. On the same token, I was just thinking about it, and my amazing partner never really gave me those sorts of physical compliments on our first dates. And maybe in some ways that's why I wondered if we would go towards a relationship or just a friendship, because it didn't fit the mold of compliments or whatever that we sort of expect. I just decided to enjoy whatever direction we did go in, and appreciated our friendship while our relationship was in that territory. In some ways, it was really so freeing, to not have the pressure or thought, is this going to go somewhere? but to just enjoy it. We talked on the phone a lot, he emailed me all the time, and when we did move our relationship forward, the love and respect and caring he had for me were almost overflowing. So I would say don't necessarily try to pressure your relationships to go one way or another...just let them be what they are. Do you enjoy talking to this man on the phone? How much do you have in common or how well do you connect?

sunnybaby, sounds like you're in a good place! I'm sure it must be a relief to hear from him!

It's been pretty stressful around here. I got in a car accident in early December, and my car, though not totalled by the insurance company, was getting more in repairs than I'd be able to sell it for, so I took the money and we bought a minivan (gonna have to fit three carseats!) Car shopping was soooo long and stressful, and I haven't had much good time to spend with the girls, and my house was an absolute pigsty! Then yesterday DD1 stayed home from school as a birthday present for me, and I was miserable and stressed and guilty all day long, they're leaving tomorrow to go to their dad's for Christmas, and I just feel as if I haven't had any good time with them then I ruin the time I do have with them all stressed out! I didn't make them Christmas dresses this year, I ordered most of their Christmas presents from Hearthsong and Magiccabin and they haven't gotton here yet even though I paid for express shipping, and we didn't do some of the craft projects we were hoping to work on! So yesterday, my birthday, was miserable, and to top it all off, the van we bought got a flat tire when I was out, and tired, and overwhelmed, and trying to juggle everything. I managed to get it changed with the help of a kind stranger, but I've just been a huge grump. [eta: I knew when we bought it the tires would need to be replaced soon, that's the only thing the toyota dealer found as a problem, so we were planning on it just not YESTERDAY!] And all the stressing I'm doing has been kind of hard on our relationship as well...last night my amazing beau, who's been pitching in 110% through all this, said (in a very nice way) that he hopes all the stress dies down soon because he misses his Jennifer And it's true, and my poor kids are leaving in the midst of mama being a miserable wretch. I'm hoping today goes better, and kind of wishing I could just keep dd1 home today and make it a truly enjoyable day. We'll see, she'd miss a party at school, but I think quality time with mama might be more important than quality time with her school friends...

[solareyna]

Jster,

I think there was more to it than just the lack of compliments. Our phone conversations were always lacking and we had dead time about half the time we talked. He didn't call me last night so I don't know if its because he read my email or just decided to give up like I kind of did on him. I would never be mean to him if he called but I'm not pushing it. If it were really meant to be, it would happen. (I think that is going to be my motto from now on).

[BelovedK]

I realized something

I haven't been meeting any new potentials, I've been reflecting on the reasons why.

Well, the other day I cleared out my closet of clothes that I no longer wear and within 2 days I had a bag full of hand me downs that suited me much better.

Well, I have been spending alot of time with a male friend of mine that I used to have a romantic thing with...there is always a question about that option in the future. I got to thinking about the clothing, and the vaccum effect of clearing space attracting more of what you've cleared~hence the new, better clothes.

I am realizing that the relationship with my friend is filling some of my needs in a semi-romantic way, and if i cleared that...perhaps not spending so much time with him, focusing on other friendships, then maybe there would be room for a new relationship in my life that better meets my needs. I think the focus is on letting go of my dependance on him...He really has enabled me to be without a man in my life bc he is the one in my life. People always think we are either married, or dating ...I understand why, we are always together.

That is just something that came to me

[MsChatsAlot]

Very insightful Kelly. I really believe you are well on your way to create this wonderful relationship in your life.

I met a really great man this fall. We can talk for hours, we have much in common, etc. etc. But, I just knew there was no chemistry and there were a few flags for me that told me we just wouldn't work long term.

Anyway....he suggested we could just date or hang out or whatever...but I thought that if I put a lot of time and energy into it, that I wouldn't have room for someone new. So, we do talk occasionally and that's been nice. But I know I need to make sure there is room in my life when Mr. Pretty-Darn-Good-For-Me comes along!!!

p.s. Kelly, you've come so far in your growth perspective. I'm so excited to hear about the man that you choose to be with!!!

[stirringleaf]

Originally Posted by BelovedK

I haven't been meeting any new potentials, I've been reflecting on the reasons why.

Well, the other day I cleared out my closet of clothes that I no longer wear and within 2 days I had a bag full of hand me downs that suited me much better.

Well, I have been spending alot of time with a male friend of mine that I used to have a romantic thing with...there is always a question about that option in the future. I got to thinking about the clothing, and the vaccum effect of clearing space attracting more of what you've cleared~hence the new, better clothes.

I am realizing that the relationship with my friend is filling some of my needs in a semi-romantic way, and if i cleared that...perhaps not spending so much time with him, focusing on other friendships, then maybe there would be room for a new relationship in my life that better meets my needs. I think the focus is on letting go of my dependance on him...He really has enabled me to be without a man in my life bc he is the one in my life. People always think we are either married, or dating ...I understand why, we are always together.

That is just something that came to me

wow. i have this guy too. he kind of comes and goes from my world a little, which is fine, but maybe i need to re-evaluate. and, i need to clean out my closets!

[solareyna]

I had another date last night with the guy I have been talking to. He seems nice but I think it is more physical than anything and I got to thinking about how hard it is to find someone that is both attractive to me physically and mentally. I am a smart and sexy woman, why can't I find the same in a man? Those that have an interest in my body have no interest in my mind and it seems like it is vice versa too. I am holding out for that man that can stimulate my body and my mind.

Stirringleaf and BelovedK, I kind of wish I had a man in the position that you have your male friends. I have one male friend but we don't hang out enough and I am so unattracted to him he doesn't really strike me as a manly presence in my life - if that makes any sense at all.

[JustVanessa]

Very insightful Kelly! Hopefully with a little more "room in the closet" someone amazing will come along.

I finally finished buying bf's gift. I got him a shirt and some socks to wear under his waders and some fishing lures. He better give me and A+ for effort b/c I am clueless when it comes to fishing and I tried really hard.

Off to work now for my last day before leaving for my mom's.
Have a good weekend mamas.

[sahmof2girls]

Well Ladies................. I took 2 hpt today on dpo 7 and got to bfp....very faint but there.... This is gonna sound crazy...But..... I am so EXCITED, and when i called dp he was almost in tears. He is sooooo happy!!!!!!!!

No judgements here please...Thanks

[MsChatsAlot]

Hooray sahm2girls!!!!

I have said here many times that I believe a baby is a blessing.

You have said some really wonderful things about this man.

I wish all of you a happy and healthy journey together.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by sahmof2girls

Well Ladies................. I took 2 hpt today on dpo 7 and got to bfp....very faint but there.... This is gonna sound crazy...But..... I am so EXCITED, and when i called dp he was almost in tears. He is sooooo happy!!!!!!!!

No judgements here please...Thanks

:

[solareyna]

Congrats sahm2girls! From what you have said, it sounds like its a great match and I wish you all the luck in the world!

[mountain]

Wow, there's some great stuff going on here...hoping & sending good juju your way megan! Would we judge you? Never, sistah.

Jster, Sorry your b-day was so CRAPULOUS...my mom says some days are like that...even in Australia Everything's gonna be all right love.

BK, out with the old and in with the new, huh! I hear you, and my thoughts are that sometimes you can get wrapped up in friendships and don't let yourself be alone enough to really put yourself out there...maybe that's a new journey for you. Don't blow off your friends entirely though! I know you know that

My TRUE guy friends are stable and unobtrusive...Rather than getting in the way, they help my bf and I be closer...I have one really great guy friend that is helping talk another of my friends through her jealousy...

WTF is up with this guys? Yeah, I'm in love with my man, but I feel like I've spent lots of time trying to make everyone feel valued & it's stressing me out. It seems no matter what I do, somebody's gonna have something to say.

Looking back past at the last year, I can see that my love didn't come around until I was healthy enough to accept it. I was getting drunk more than I should've, smoking, poisoning myself in general. I'm so stoked on the healthier person I've gradually become, and I know my friends are too..it's just going to take them some time to come around to it...My bf's mom is feeling really hurt about not being able to spend a lot of time with him, and I need strength in knowing how to deal with that one.

It's hard for me b/c I LOVE moms and really want to respect her...We're having dinner tomorrow so hope I don't stick my foot in my mouth about anything...

Love on these holy days of family to you mamas. Praying for peace.

[minkajane]

I got stood up

I was supposed to have a date last night. I've known this guy for five years. We went out to a movie and a club Friday night. He wanted me to go to a concert then back to the club Saturday night. I spent two hours getting ready (including dying my hair, which I would've done anyway, but still). Then I waited for an hour and a half before I gave up. I text messaged him twice and have been calling him. He's not answering his cell phone.

What the hell? Couldn't he at least call me if he ended up having to work or something? It's totally out of character for this guy to just not show. Things have come up with our plans before (he's a manager and has to work a lot) but he's always let me know so I'm not waiting on him.

I was really looking forward to going out, too. Now I have to wait until New Year's to do anything since nothing's open tonight.

[wemoon]

Aww, I'm so sorry. It totally sucks when you're just left hanging like that. I get really pissed off at people if they do that and make sure they know I'm upset and then don't attempt any plans with them for awhile. Unfortunately, I know a lot of people that do that. It's annoying.

[browneyedsol]

Trying to catch up! I got disenchanted with dating earlier this month, especially the online type. They were both serial daters. 1. The player who "deeply values intimacy" haha.......and 2. The shaggy punk rock hermit (who I really like in fact--but didn't see held the maturity necessary to carry on with).

Kelly, I am doing the very same thing with my closet presently! Good to read you got some new threads! Let's hope other newness follows!

minkajane that stinks...so sorry you were stood up! Who has time to emotionally prepare, physically prepare...and then...? Next time head out somewhere safe for some grown up solitude?

I've been thinking that perhaps I have not done enough in the realm of good-bye with my recent x bf. I want each of us to feel better than we do about the end. It's fini for me...I tried long and hard to see if our relationship would be workable. It's not. Creating further conscious closure is tricky. If I open the door for more conscious good-bye work and a greater sense of ending, he either turns our conversation into a blame game or tries to waltz back in. So, I typically just avoid him. Presently he wants to come to my older ds's bday party and is pushing for things like that. I have to draw a very, very clear boundary. He dropped off some holiday gifts the other day and spent half an hour here. It was good for the kids in a way, but x bf has a sort of heaviness to him...and his undertone of woundedness comes through...is not lost on the kids. I was happy when he left, though I felt disappointed that it can't be healthier. Letting go...on my own I guess.

Saturday the 30th is a possibility for me. A friend is having a brunch and inviting a single dad she thinks is a good fit for me. He has a 5 yo dd. His wife died of cancer and he's raised her alone since she was one. Only my friend and I know this is a potential match making event. Our children and a couple other families will be present, too. It will be very casual, but I'm gonna catch up on my beauty rest...ha! I've never seen him, but he has the greatest name...a rather handsome sounding euro name...oh the imagination!

[sahmof2girls]

~minkajane~ I am so sorry....That really stinks! Hopefully he had a REALLY REALLY REALLY RAELLY~ you know where ia am going with this~ reason. Let us know mamma!!!!!

~browneyedsol~ Wow I hopw that your little setup on the 30th comes out with somthing good for you...if not only a good time with a nice guy for the night.

I told x about my dp.....and he was mad the other day, and yesterday he wanted to talk about it in depth. He said for the girls ake. But.... it was really about his emotions feelins on it. I left out the baby part for now He was very mattture about it and actually was talking about a women in his future.... but who knows. For the last 10 months i don't know if he is gonna be and angel or a demon from day to day to me when i see/talk to him. So hopefully he will take what he is learning from me moving on. Which I think is funny he wasn't expecting it....but i guess he thought he could just hold me in his back pocket even though we have been seperated for 10 months. So I just hope for my own happiness and my DC that he really meant all he said yesterday................
Merry Christmas a day late to all you wonderful mamma's!