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TTC 6+ months December Support Thread - Page 13

post #241 of 1084
Ity, I will google diet coke that morning when I feel like having one. That will help! I keep thinking for some reason I am going to O early, but I should know better and I will be here same time next week still waiting to O. I can't stand it! I am feeling little pings and pangs in my ovaries though, mostly right. I think they are hard at work. I picture little Christmas elves in there building me a little egg for Christmas. :

I have been including all of you in my nightly baby prayers. It is weird to say something like "please help ItyBty or Mommyinchaos" in them, but oh well!

Allisonrose, I think what made me make this decision is that I just have a deep feeling that I may have ovary problems and that I need that little boost to help grow a mature egg. I didn't have very good diagnostic studies done on me, so I am really not sure. Maybe if I would have kept trying on my own, I may have been successful at some point. My personality is such that I am a very planned, organization-type person (I am sure like many here) and I am having a hard time with the delay, which is causing my husband and our relationship a lot of stress. I am too much of a planner so I tend to talk to him about all of it too much and he is the opposite, so I thought it would be better to try and boost this along, hopefully it will work. ANOTHER major reason for my decision is that I hadn't gotten pregnant naturally since I had my 7-year-old, and although we weren't specifically trying, with no protection I find that pretty depressing and so that means about 8 years altogether, so I think I may really need the Clomid.

Regarding c/s, it seems doctors are so much more willing to give them sometimes even without being necessary for a real health reason, and I find that pretty dangerous. Having a baby without surgery as it is can be dangerous and I for one would be very nervous to go through a major surgery if I didn't need to. I know I am LUCKY that I did not have to and that many people have no choice. I am surprised to hear that people can even schedule them before they are due, which is very strange to me, I guess to avoid labor, but my friend had hers about three weeks early and had a lot of problems with jaundice.

Pamperedmom I understand your feeling like you missed something in not feeling the labor. Most people don't understand me when I say this, but I truly feel it was important to me to feel labor. I will never forget it. It is an amazing process and I am fascinated by it. During it, I just wanted to get through it, but thinking back I am so thankful I was able to have it. I hope very much that you get pregnant again soon and that you will be able to experience it. ( no one gets me, I hope you don't think I am telling you to suffer the pain of labor, I hope you know what I mean here - the experience is an awesome human experience).

I hate talking about all that for those of you who have not yet gotten to experience it, I just hope that all of you do get pregnant soon and that my comment will help you in decision making? (although you may be screaming "why would lilyflower tell me such a thing!" at the time) People all have different opinions on the matter. Most people I talk to who have had a baby do not agree and would like to have an immediate epidural. So everyone is different.
post #242 of 1084
Quote:
Originally Posted by allisonrose View Post
Our Clomid ladies: what made you decide it was the best choice for you?
Honestly? I was just sick of 15 months of trying with no baby, and the Dr seemed to think that maybe Clomid would help. We've talked about it, and think that next month, or maybe Feb if Clomid alone doesn't work, we'll move on to IUI with Clomid. If that doesn't work, I don't know what we'll do.
post #243 of 1084
I had diet controlled GD and gave natural vaginal birth to a healthy 8 lb 6 oz boy 4 days "over due". I am 5'3'' and about 100 lbs when not preggo. I only gained 26 lbs during pregnancy due to the GD diet.

Just some info for you ladies.
post #244 of 1084
ok.. yes.. I did have gestational diabetes... I am 4"11' and I am 170lbs.. I gained more than 60 pounds when I was pg...
told ya I was fat.. lol

I did eventually get it controlled with diet.. I have a lot of excuses of why I didnt.. it was my fault, ultimately, that C was so big.. and why I gained so much weight

I'm pretty positive I could not have pushed that ham outta me!
post #245 of 1084
Hi everyone !

I am still running around like crazy trying to keep up with my life, slowly catching up and making some progress, but I stop in here and read every couple of hours. : fingers crossed for everyone one way or another.


I have to add my two cents to the C/S discussion. Sorry if you don't want to read about just skip ahead to the next post !
I was a homebirther and completely avoided learning about any type of hospital birth, even though I read and researched just about everything else on the topic of pregnancy and birth. I didn't want to jinx myself, and going to the hospital was my second or third greatest fear after those of my babe's and my own health. I remember reading about C/S and putting my book down thinking... I am not having one of those, I am having a homebirth ! And just never learing about it.
Well, I sorely regretted that when I was being wheeled through the hospital. I had no frame of reference, I was desperate and scared after the decision to transport at 4am. I labored at home for 26 hours, including 5 hours of hard pushing with zero progress. Yes I got the labor experience, I puked, I screamed, lots of other stuff too which might just be TMI. And I do not regret a moment of it, I am glad I got to experience it. Of course that meant I was completely exhausted by the time I got to surgery (and therefore had a longer recovery). At that point I just wanted my baby to be ok, no matter how the birth happened.

My dd was 15 days past due date when she was finally born, her weight was 8 lbs 8oz, big but not too big. We found after that her head was in the 95th percentile for size, and she had her head turned to the side with her chin up. She just didn't fit through the bones like that, they need to be all tucked in to come through. My MW said she was sure that we could have stayed home and it would have happened eventually but she could no longer say we'd both be fine... there was merconium in the fluid and she felt dd's oxygen could be compromised. We didn't know at that point if she were tangled in her cord or what.

I remember at the hospital them making me sign some forms before taking me to surgery (after the dr there at the hospital attested that, yeah, I was pushing right but nothing was happening). I suppose somewhere on those forms might have been something saying infertility is a risk of a C/S.... but frankly I could hardly scrawl my name on the paper, let alone read something. I thought even at the time how utterly ridiculous it was to have someone who came in for emergency surgery signing forms before they would go in... this is what our litigious society has come to I guess.

My dd had trouble feeding and BFing was very hard for months... it took her over 3 weeks to gain her birthweight back. She was very sleepy from the meds, and the dr was ready to pur her on formula.

I have come to terms with dd's birth, and I have really learned a lot from it.
I feel like I have much more compassion for women who have c/s, whether emergency or elective. And for women who wind up bottle feeding for whatever reason. I have been judged by those who don't know me for what happened (for not "sticking it out and homebirthing" or "just pushing a little harder") and I will try to never judge another like that again. You just don't know what someone else has been through.


At this point in my ttc I just want that baby, and I no longer care if I don't get the beautiful homebirth I 've always wanted. I am keeping my eyes on the prize. (ok I say that now but ask me again when I am 6 months pg)


Ok I should also add in here what I tell PG women who ask about Dd's birth: Birthing at the hospital wasn't in my birthplan but it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it would be. I don't want to scare anyone who is ttc#1. The staff at the hospital was mostly supportive, and my head nurse was a midwife herself. We have a large homebirth community here and they are used to us and all our non-baby-washing-and-don't-take-any-blood-or-give-any-shots-kind-of-ways at the hospital.





Pampered mom (and yes, I never noticed I wrote your name wrong a million times Sorry ! ignorance is bliss), I hope that next time you get to labor naturally and I hope we all get the kind of births we are hoping for



You'd think in all the fertility studies they do that C/S would be a factor they examine... but I guess there is no money in that ! (and maybe a few lawsuits as well)
post #246 of 1084
Let me just says that I love hearing that people are praying for each other in this forum. Sometimes it can really feel like its just you and your DH/DS so its nice to hear there are other people thinking about you. I got a PM from a momma here on MDC who I'd never spoken with before that was just the sweetest thing ever. She said something that made me smile, "Be gentle with yourself and know that a total stranger is sending you good vibes and love for a speedy road to motherhood, one way or another" and even now makesme tear up a wee bit. I didn't reply, because I didn't know what to say, but I saved it, and when I'm having a bad day, I go back and reread it.
post #247 of 1084
Lily--just wanted to add that I Oed on CDs 15 and 14 respectively on my two Clomid rounds. Before clomid I either Oed on CD12 or 19... so not "early" for me. Perhaps it just got the body chemistry going in the right direction??!
post #248 of 1084
Hi guys... Just checking in. Forgive me that I haven't read the thread yet - I am still working up the nerve to. Everything is still too raw after the miscarriage.

So, I had a missed miscarriage after all - not ectopic. A few days after getting injections to treat an ectopic pg, further tests showed the baby had been in my uterus after all. I saw my dr for a 2 week checkup on Monday. Beta level is down to 75 - I go back in another week to test again. Once I am at zero, my dr says she just wants me to wait one full cycle to make sure I start with a clean slate, then I am good to try again. She says she is sure she'll see me again (for good reasons) very soon, but I am nervous because it took 15 months the first time. I am hoping that the changes I made the month we got pg are what worked so I won't have such a hard time.

I've missed you all... I've just had to take time to wrap my brain around suddenly having this pg taken away from me. It is really hard - especially this time of year. I was going to be 12 weeks at Christmas and announce it in our holiday cards. Now I can't bring myself to make them. My dad has been amazingly supportive (I have no mom). I hadn't told him we were ttc, so I think he is very, very happy to find out we were. He still doesn't know it took that long.

Big hugs to you all. I think I am ready to rejoin the ttc world, though we are on bc for the next month or two...
post #249 of 1084
I would like to add - please know that I never judge anyone with their choice on c/s, really want to make that clear that I just wanted to tell you how important I felt the labor and delivery was to me personally. I also would have gone through with c/s of course if necessary, and I was in a hospital from the beginning, and had a good experience there with both nurses (the doctor/midwife hardly showed up till the end). In the midst of it all, I recall asking for an epidural at about 9 cm (too late to turn back now....), so I do know every situation is different. I am sorry you didn't get your home birth as you wanted Ocean. I am sure both my babies would have had complications had I not been at the hospital, as both had the cords around them and cords needed to be quickly cut, etc. Anyway, hope everyone understands what I meant.



Punquin, I am so sorry again.
post #250 of 1084
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
I am feeling little pings and pangs in my ovaries though, mostly right. I think they are hard at work. I picture little Christmas elves in there building me a little egg for Christmas. :
You and I will be cycle buddies! I have been Oing between CD 16 and CD 22 or so, which means I should O between 12/23 and 12/29.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
I have been including all of you in my nightly baby prayers. It is weird to say something like "please help ItyBty or Mommyinchaos" in them, but oh well!
This made me tear up when I read it. I pray for MDC mamas all the time, especially when I know one of you is going through an extra difficult time with your DH or family or after a miscarriage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItyBty View Post
Let me just says that I love hearing that people are praying for each other in this forum. Sometimes it can really feel like its just you and your DH/DS so its nice to hear there are other people thinking about you. I got a PM from a momma here on MDC who I'd never spoken with before that was just the sweetest thing ever. She said something that made me smile, "Be gentle with yourself and know that a total stranger is sending you good vibes and love for a speedy road to motherhood, one way or another" and even now makesme tear up a wee bit. I didn't reply, because I didn't know what to say, but I saved it, and when I'm having a bad day, I go back and reread it.
post #251 of 1084
[QUOTE=greenegirl;6702385]You and I will be cycle buddies! I have been Oing between CD 16 and CD 22 or so, which means I should O between 12/23 and 12/29.


Oh, cycle buddies would be fun, but FF has scheduled me to O between the 14th-18th which is CD 17-21 for me. If I have to wait until 12/23-12/29, I will be pulling my hair out!!! I was hoping it would come a bit early like CD 14 or 15. But, I really doubt that will happen. Hopesmom, thanks for the heads-up!
post #252 of 1084
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
Regarding c/s, it seems doctors are so much more willing to give them sometimes even without being necessary for a real health reason, and I find that pretty dangerous. Having a baby without surgery as it is can be dangerous and I for one would be very nervous to go through a major surgery if I didn't need to. I know I am LUCKY that I did not have to and that many people have no choice. I am surprised to hear that people can even schedule them before they are due, which is very strange to me, I guess to avoid labor, but my friend had hers about three weeks early and had a lot of problems with jaundice.
Ain't that the truth!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
Pamperedmom I understand your feeling like you missed something in not feeling the labor. Most people don't understand me when I say this, but I truly feel it was important to me to feel labor. I will never forget it. It is an amazing process and I am fascinated by it.
: Thank you lily for wishing that for me. Strangely enough it means a lot to me!!

Taradactyl3 - That is so cool!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by angel1895 View Post
ok.. yes.. I did have gestational diabetes... I am 4"11' and I am 170lbs.. I gained more than 60 pounds when I was pg...
told ya I was fat.. lol
Too many details to keep track of around here! I would say it was due to your GD then and not your height! I don't mean to split hairs, but it's always frustrating when medical types get into the "too" arguments in sending people down the c/s route. You know, the "too fat", "too skinny", "too short", "too tall". When for the most part that just simply isn't founded.

Angel - I would never outright suggest that your c/s was wrong or "unnecessary". However, I still think in some ways it bears discussion - if no one had ever asked me those types of questions I don't think that I would have ever made it this far. It's made a big difference in my life and actually helped take me down the path to bonding with my son which truly took me over a year.

And I do think things like this need to be discussed for first timers so that there isn't this code of silence. We miss out on too much when our community isn't more open!

Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanmommy View Post
My MW said she was sure that we could have stayed home and it would have happened eventually but she could no longer say we'd both be fine... there was merconium in the fluid and she felt dd's oxygen could be compromised. We didn't know at that point if she were tangled in her cord or what.
See...but the thing is you had someone who was there to support you and believed that labor was a natural process that does proceed normally for the majority of women. That in so many ways makes all the difference. To be believed in and supported in so many ways is so lacking for a number of different people. I'm very glad that you had the MW that you did - truly a blessing!

Thank you for your kind words! :

ItyBty - Awww! That is such a sweet pm!! MDC does rock - and so does this thread. I like that we can discuss so many different things that all in one way or another relate to our journey ttc!

Punquin
post #253 of 1084
Just poppin' in to say I'm still spotting WTF

Punquin
post #254 of 1084
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenk View Post
Sarah do you use OPK's too?
At this point no, since I've been charting temps I've always been pretty sure when I've O'd and I have fairly clear signs leading up to it. Problem is this month I keep having those signs but then they don't lead to the temp rise I would expect so still no O.

It's just this cycle since the miscarriage, my worry is that the m/c messed things up more permanently than I thought. And that, coupled with my constant worry about all the things that go with TTC when you're 35+ is stressing me out which doesn't help either.

We've had a hard year around here, we lost DH's father in March, moved twice and the m/c to top it off, we were really looking forward to Christmas and the holidays and having the baby to look forward to and now I just feel so let down. The last week or so has been really hard and I honestly don't even now why, I was really doing ok there for a while. I'm very the last few days.

I'm sorry also for talking about the m/c so much here, I know some of you are thinking 'at least you know you can get pg' when I talk about it and honestly I feel so guilty about that sometimes. I do feel blessed to know that I could, I just worry that I won't be able to again.

Punquin I'm so glad to see you take care of yourself
post #255 of 1084
Punquin and SarahJen special to you guys. SarahJen I know you talked about going to your old ddc and feeling down afterwards. I totally understand how that could be tempting to do and very upsetting. I hope the holidays are much easier than you expect them to be.

for everyone

I pray for you guys a lot too. It is nice to know we are all over the world thinking good thoughts for each other.

I'm 99% sure it didn't happen this month so just waiting for a few days until AF. Feeling dissappointed but not surprised. Still trying to convince myself that it will all be ok.:

night,
Tara
post #256 of 1084
Stephanie and Sarah I have been thinking about you and Teneal This time of year is so difficult when you are missing someone.




Pampered Mom (yes, I am going to still call you that now that I know it was your intended name),
ITA my midwife is awesome, and I still very much consider myself a homebirther. If she hadn't been there it would likely have been a much worse experience. My MW was by my side the whole time, and since it was the middle of the night I got to have 3 people with me in surgery... My MW, her assistant, and DH. They had a heck of a time getting my MW's assistant's three foot dreadlocks into the little surgical cap
post #257 of 1084
Hello everyone. I guess it's been pretty busy around here today. I've been watching all day, but I promised that I'd be positive and upbeat, so I couldn't break that promise. I thought it would be better if I just didn't post because of my day.

I spent most of today crying. I don't know what's up... Maybe it's just being here with no friends. I miss home, but I love it here. I don't want to move back home. I'm feeling low because I've put on a few extra lbs since we moved here. That makes me feel pretty bad too. I know that there's not much I can do about it until I get my thyroid issue straightened out, but in the mean time, am I supposed to sit back and watch my body expand in all directions? I am also worried that if I am pg (which I'm still pretty sure I'm not) it could be disasterous with my thyroid being out of wack right now. So all day, I would watch, cry, watch, cry, answer the phone, cry, watch some more, then cry.

I'm doing much better now, but I wanted to stop in and say thanks for letting me vent here. I really love you girls. I wouldn't be able to handle this TTC thing if I didn't have you all! So THANK YOU!!!!

Now, I did get a lot of work done today. Which is something I've been trying to do forever. We had company over for dinner... that's always a good incentive to get my house organized!!!

Oh, and I wanted to put this into writing so I could see if I'm right. Tomorrow my temp is going to go back up, and then Friday, it's going to go back down, and Saturday it'll go below coverline (unless I'm pg) This seems to be a pattern of my previous cycles. Lets hope I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen.

Glad everyone is doing well! See you all tomorrow!
post #258 of 1084
PS~
Punquin... I'm still praying for you. We're all here when you're ready to join our world!!!
post #259 of 1084
Stephanie hugs to you, I'm very glad to see you (so to speak), and I wish it were possible to give you a hug IRL. I know it hurts, and I wish I could take away your pain. Life sometimes deals us a hand that feels impossible to play with...(I know, I've been there and I'm there now)...but I feel like that's just to prepare for us for the *REAL* thing. Maybe your going to get pregnant again real soon with twins : or something like that. I do believe you will get it and soon, your body just was suprised by what was going on, but it knows now! Your in my thoughts often as well!

Sarah I'm sorry that your feeling so blue these last few days...I know, just know that God has a plan for you as well. It's ok to be sad. You know I heard that you didn't stay out of work that long (only like a day or two) and I wondered why you went back so soon? I've been out for a week today, and I'm not going back til at least Friday. I'm sorry for being nosey, I just feel like I needed this time to regroup so to speak. I told some people what is going on in an email so that they might spread the word, and i wouldn't have to tell everyone that this is going on with me when i get back. I am sending good vibes your way, so that your tomo will be brighter than today!

Ocean Thank you and everyone else that have been thanking of me/us....I know that all the positive thoughts and prayers are what is getting me thru everyday.

Theresa I'm so sorry that I pressured you to take the test, I hope your not upset with me. Please don't cry, just call me if you ever need to talk....We have each other if no one else in NC....right??? :

Susy Lot's of women spot even bleed when they are pregnant, and everything turns out perfect, don't count yourself out until it's full on red flow that bitty.

Anon & Green I hope your charts are still looking might fine in the AM.

Hugs to everyone I missed....I'm thinking of all of you, and will include you all in my prayers tonight.

PS, I think I am going to start the clomid as soon as I get AF again, just so that will be a normal cycle starting and give all my organs a break. So, days 2-6 this time b/c I'm still being selfish hoping for more than one bean. :
post #260 of 1084
Punquin. Glad to hear from you.

I have very little to say. I wanted to cry reading posts (who knows why?) especially when I read Tenk's post and was like hey, I'm in NC too, which is totally irrational, I know. I just feel yucky and I don't seem to have any real reason for it. People have been upsetting me all day without meaning it. I've been nuts. if anyone needs it.
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