TTC 6+ months December Support Thread - Page 5

[ItyBty]

Oceanmommy - I know I gave you a : in the other thread, but here's another one just because. I just found out last night that a friend of mine knocked up his GF and they are getting married in Feb. I'm happy for them, but angry that they get a "whoopsie" and here I am popping pills and charting and timing BD-ing and its been 16 months and still no baby, and he gets a little horny and they get a kid. It just doesn't seem fair, KWIM?

Edit: Saw this quote in someones siggy line, and it made me smile, "You rush a miracle...you get rotten miracles." (Miracle Max - The Princess Bride)

mommy_in-_chaos - I have the opposite thing with my family. I'm the oldest cousin/grandchild and the first to get married, my youngest cousin is about 6, so no babies since he came along. Ever since we got married (4 years ago) I've been getting the wink-nudge "Your turn!" thing from everybody. No one but one cousin that I'm close with really knows we are trying, and even she doesn't know for how long - I only told her recently because she wants me to be a bridemaid for her this summer, and I just wanted to warn her I'm hoping to be hugely pregnant, albiet thrilled to be a bridesmaid.

I'm noting a wee bit of weepiness today, I'm blaming the Clomid. I was watching "Love Actually" (which I adore and have seen twice this week and many times before... I highly recommend it...) and I got teary-eyed a bunch of times, and when the cats wer playing musical food dishes tonight instead of gently nudging the piggy one to his own bowl, I just walked away because it was angering me. But I don't feel like, Crazy moody. Just kinda like, well, ya know how you feel if your a wee bit overtired, and just a teensy bit cranky. You can rein it in about 98% of the time, but the little things just irk you more than usual? Thats how I feel. Just vaguely and lightly PMS-y or over-tired. But its nothing crazy or anything... not yet.

: and for all you TWW-ers.

[allisonrose]

I should clarify my last post. I didn't use an OPK. Just mentioned that I get my surge on OPK about 48 hours before O (not sure why that happens like that). So using an OPK at this point would be useless.

But the FM stick definitely showed a bunch of LH.

susykat - Unfortunately my sex drive is higher than my hubby's. Even when we weren't TTC, I got rejected now and again. I was more annoyed that it was rejection at a (potentially) critical time.

ocean - I really don't think that's possible - my temp fell to pre-O level when AF showed up. Shoot. I have a Dollar Tree test and some internet cheapies just chilling out under my bathroom sink... But I feel so strongly that it'll be a BFN that even an internet cheapie seems like a waste.
Oh, and I've heard that women get a fertility boost from smelling infants. So maybe the baby therapy will help in the long run.
But I do understand the feeling of it's not fair. I wish I knew why we all are going through this while there are some women who pop out children and do not take good care of them.

[mommy_in_chaos]

Ok, so I'm thinking that it's time for me to leave town for a week. I want to make it through the next week without POAS, and I want to wait for POASaturday, but I just know I'm not going to make it. I'm a lot like susykat is, and I want to know, even though I know it'll be BFN I just want to do it!

Teneal and Sarah~
I hope I'm going through what you guys were. I can't even begin to tell you how much I want this. I feel like the next two months are going to kill me with the TTA for the Sept wedding.

Ok... We're going to GIO tonight. I'm going to surprise DH with a sexy nity and a lap dance!!! I'm feeling very... um... what word should I use... I don't know... can someone tell me what on earth would make me want to do this???? I even set up a chair in our bedroom for reasons I'll not mention, but use your imagination! I don't know what's come over me! I can't believe I even typed it! I could see if I were Oing or something, but man... I feel like I'm wasting something that could work better later. Guess I'm reasoning that I need to keep stuff alive and not just make him think that I only want him when his sperm are needed. KWIM

[oceanmommy]

I don't have time to post, just a quick response...

Originally Posted by ItyBty

I just found out last night that a friend of mine knocked up his GF and they are getting married in Feb. I'm happy for them, but angry that they get a "whoopsie" and here I am popping pills and charting and timing BD-ing and its been 16 months and still no baby, and he gets a little horny and they get a kid. It just doesn't seem fair, KWIM?

EXACTLY !

Originally Posted by ItyBty

Edit: Saw this quote in someones siggy line, and it made me smile, "You rush a miracle...you get rotten miracles." (Miracle Max - The Princess Bride)

Thank you for quoting that, it is a good to perspective.... and I love that book/movie.






Allisonrose I just was thinking that if your FM detects LH the same way the strip tests do they might react the same way (and also come up + if you are pg).... and it would explain your early cycle temp rise as actually a rise after a dip and some bleeding. I have cruised FF's gallery enough to know that yes, sometimes pg women have temps under the coverline, and sometimes they bleed. I hope I am not teasing your hopes with this, it's just that unusual things like that so early in the cycle are a warning bell for me that hey... maybe you are actually pregnant.

The time I was pg but didn't know it.... I started bleeding on what I thought was CD 10, heavyish like AF, definitely not spotting. I didn't know what to make of it (we were ttc but this was 7 yrs ago, I knew so much less then) and a friend said maybe you're pg. I didn't know what else to do so I tested and voila ! I was pg, but bleeding, and I lost that pregnancy a couple weeks later.

So you can see why I am always on the lookout for weird stuff the first week of a cycle.

[allisonrose]

Internet cheapie says: negative. So I'm not pregnant. Plus if I actually ovulated yesterday, I doubt the egg will be fit for conception. :

[oceanmommy]

Sorry to get your hopes up Allison ! I'll mail you an internet cheapie to replace the test if you want, pm me your address
Well you can understand from my story about why I take this kind of thing seriously.

[angel1895]

hehehe.. I wanna know how theresas night went..

good morning all.. I'll bbl... off to church!

[mommy_in_chaos]

My temp is still way up today! I can't believe that I had the strength to resist POAS today! I wanted to soooooooo bad! I would have needed FMU though and I made myself go directly in the potty instead of in a cup. So for the next 7 days, I have to force myself to do this... Or I could for just 3 more days, and I can POAS at 10 DPO. What do you guys think? 5 more days would be 12 DPO, and I'd probably get a more accurate reading, don't you think?

[SarahJen]

Theresa : that chart is looking great!:

I'm not a fan of early testing so I can't answer your question, my answer would be PATIENCE and wait until you're actually late which I'm sure isn't what you wanted to hear

[mommy_in_chaos]

Sarah~
You're right... Didn't want to hear that. But... that's what I'm trying to do... I don't want to test because BFN's are very upsetting. I really don't want to have the disappointment. It seems like just getting AF is better then the thought of testing and then getting AF because then I'm gettting slapped in the face twice in one week. KWIM? So, all that to say, I'm going to TRY to hold out as long as I can. I might even go so far as to ask my neighbor to take my tests to her house so I can't use them. Then I'll have to ask her for them and I'd feel stupid doing that. Of course, they'd have to be in a little brown paper bag so she couldn't see what they were, coz they don't know we're TTC. But oh well... She'd not ask questions....

Ok, I'm going to get ready for church. Yet another to add to the list of possible Church Families we may want to join... I wish we had found one before we moved here!

[SarahJen]

Question - is spotting around O time normal/common? I had some spotting last night that I can't think of any other cause for, I've never had this before.

[Tenk]

I need to vent....
We are getting a puppy for the kids for Christmas, and kinda for us too. We paid for him already and they asked us to pick out a name so they could aclamate (spelling) him to it. I like Parker sooo much and DH agreed. Then a few days later he said he didn't like it. He has tried to change it several times now (we don't even have the dog yet) and I haven't budged on it. Now rewind for a min. when we had Kamryn, he picked out her name, not me, and we already have names picked out for more children that he picked and not me, he doesn't even like the same kind of names as me. He said that I got to name the others (long story, we had them prior to getting married and lived apart, like Ohio and Colorado, he was still in college and I had a good job, but we loved each other and made it work). From the begining we wanted 5 kids, I had Lauren already, then he and I had Hailey and Kaleb. We got married AFTER Kaleb was born in 03. So we did it all backwards, but were in the right place now anyway.....he felt left out of the naming process for the others so he said he should pick the names, I don't agree, but I somewhat understand. OK, so I really wanted to name the dog. After my mom left (she came to check on me from the M/C and see how I was feeling) we went to bed and he was hounding me about the dog's name....finally i said, I will compromise ONLY if you compromise on other things. He said, like what?. I said, I don't think I want to wait a year to have another baby, and i should get to help name it, b/c I'm the one that does all the work for 9 months to get it here, so I should get to freaking help pick out the name. Well, that led to everything else, and he said he only wanted to wait a year, to protect me. I said that's not what I want. I said I was fine with just NOT using protection for 6 more months BUT after 6 months I will use my clomid again. Well he got mad, and said that he just couldn't handle the let down again of not getting a baby out of the deal. Since Kamryn died and then I m/c this time (and I'm sure it was 2 this time). I said, well I'm sorry that I keep disappointing you. He then got madder (is that a word) and said that he doesn't think he wants anymore children at all, and why can't we just be happy with what we have. My oldest Lauren is difficult, she cries all the time about everything, b/c she is treated differently at her dads house.....he never punishes her and she gets away with murder there, and at our house, she's not the only one, and there are rules to follow. So Lauren is hard to deal with sometimes. the other 2 are generally happy all the time. So I said, there are ppl that get divorced over this subject (I don't want to leave him, but his dad was married before my MIL and they divorced b/c she didn't want children....I'm glad they did b/c I wouldn't have DH) and he said so do you want to leave me then, and I said NO of course not, but there would always be this part of me that's sad....forever....after Kamryn dying I feel like I need another baby....I have this entire room of unused baby stuff and newborn clothes that are all folded and never worn that smell so wonderful....everything you would need for a new baby (even 5 packs of newborn diapers and 2 packs of size 1) we have and it's brand new, all in this room. Just sitting there. So he said does that mean I'm going to have to deal with your depressed ass for the rest of my life, and just then I (it's 11:30PM now) I jumped out of bed and whacked him with my pillow like 3 times, and started crying hysterically and went to the spare room to sleep. He didn't say a word to me, he even left for work this morning at 6am with out even saying good bye.

What do I do, what do I say.....help....I'm breaking down now.....I'm hurting from this, how could he say that, both things, the not wanting another child part, and saying he'd have to deal with my depressed ass. he never says things like that to me.......he's always so loving and supportive and helpful and caring. What happened to him and the man I married.............I cna't even get a hold of my mom to talk to her, and I just don't know what to do....

I hope all this made sense, he thinks I type like I'm talking to the person so things don't make sense.....

all of this stemed from the damn dogs name?!?!?!?!?

[Tenk]

Sarah spotting at O time is a great sign of fertility.....a doctor that researches still birth in LA told me this.....so yep it's ok and a good sign!

[mommy_in_chaos]

Sarah~
I agree with Tenk... You've probably ovulated!

Teneal~
OMG girl!!! What the heck? I'm sooo sorry you had to go through that. If I had to guess, I'd say that Kevin is probably hurting too. Maybe not the same way you are, but in a way that says "I'm hurting because you're hurting" and if he's like most guys, he feels helpless. Guys are "fixers" and he's probably feeling like the only thing he can do to "fix" the situation is to prevent it from happening again. Maybe he said that he didn't want any more children out of anger, and I'm sure that the "depressed ass" thing, well, I'm sure he regrets that. Or maybe he doesn't even realize he said it. But I'd suggest sitting down and talking to him. If you don't think that will work, send him an email. He needs to know that you are hurt, and he may have left this am without saying goodbye because he thought you didn't want to talk to him. Or maybe he's really angry. In that case, you need to let him know that it's a mutual feeling and that you want (need) to talk about it. Tell him that if you can't discuss it and get it worked out, it's going to bother you for a long time and will probably affect the rest of you everyday life. We have a tendency to let something big bother us and don't talk about it, so it comes out in small things, like the bed not being made, or toothpaste in the sink. I really think you need to talk to him. I'm here too if you want to call me. I'll PM you my phone number. Or if you want, I'll call you when we get home from church.
I hope you feel better.

[ChristyM26]

Teneal - I'm sorry about your fight. It really stinks when stuff like that happens. MIC is right - you need to talk to him and let him know that he hurt you. Maybe when he gets home you can both have a more calm conversation after you've both had time to stop and think about what went on.

Ity - I love Love Actually. Even more so maybe since they have so many wonderful actors in it and they all do such a great job with their story. I think the best story is Jamie and Aurelia's. It's such a fairy tale.

MIC - you definitely need to wait. Personally I'd wait until I had few other options cause if I see another bfn I might have a mental breakdown. That's just me though.

Actually, along that vein of thought... I'm going to have to test because my doctor (who is trying very hard to encourage my body to work all on it's own) wants me to take 10 days of Provera if I don't get af by a certain point. Obviously I need to know if it's prenancy related though. This could be bad. But I got crosshairs today - real honest to god solid red crosshairs on cd 18. It looks weird though... Nothing like any other chart so I don't know what to make of it.

[allisonrose]

My temp was 98.0 this morning. I haven't been putting it into FF because I don't want it to be real. I read on a website that a cyst rupturing can cause a temp shift and early ovulation is most likely just a cyst. So it's another month down the drain. And maybe this has been happening all along. But my GYN has failed to figure out any potential problem. :

I am so sick of this process. I am sick of looking at my pregnant, twit coworker and thinking why was it so easy for her??? I am sick of feeling like an incomplete person. I am sick of feeling alone. But I don't know what I can do to make it better/easier/go away. Especially the thought that maybe I don't deserve to have a child because maybe I'd be a lousy mother.

mommy_i_c I vote to wait till at least 12 DPO. Then you stand a better chance at a BFP.

ocean Don't worry about it. I took the test to be sure because I needed to know. I'm more upset that it looks like I might have actually "ovulated".

Tenk I know what you mean about all this started from a dog's name. I do that sometimes to my hubby because I'll hold stuff in sometimes. So everything probably just snowballed out of control. Definitely sit down with him and talk it over. He's probably having a lot of emotions in regards to the MC right now and maybe just isn't sure what to do about them.

[susykat]

Tenk I agree that DH is probably also hurting. Could he also have been tired and irratable? The only reason I say this is because my DH is also a firefighter. When he doesn't get much sleep at work we fight like we don't even like each other. It's horrible! I don't know if this fits for you or not but I just thought I'd ask? If it were me I would let him know how upset you felt when he said that and let him know that you understand his feelings too. I would ask him to tell you how he feels about having another baby and his feelings around the loss of Kamryn and the m/c. I have a hard time hearing what my DH is trying to say- it like pulling teeth getting him to talk about how he feels because he really just wants to make me happy - so he doesn't want to upset me with how he feels until its too much for him and he lets it all out. Anyway, most of this is just my experience with my DH.

to you!

[pampered_mom]

Only three days into December and this month's thread is already 5 pages long! You ladies are very chatty lately - no wonder I'm having problems keeping up unless I check it 20 times a day!

tenk

cd24 here and my temp just dropped quite a bit from yesterdays so I'm thinking maybe I o'd today or last night? We'll see if there is a corresponding rise the next three days. Then again my body could just be playing tricks on me or it could be due to the fact that it is INCREDIBLY cold here lately and colder so last night than any other night lately. We shall see, right? :

[Taradactyl3]

To everyone! I'm sending good thoughts to all of you.

T

[mommy_in_chaos]

Ok, here's my oath. I promise not to test unless I absolutley can NOT stand it another minute. In which case, I'll have to ask DH for the tests he's hiding right now, and I don't want to do that. So... that's the deal...

Teneal~
How are you doing? I'm debating on wether to call you or not... I don't want to make you have to talk about it if you don't want to...

ChristyM26~
:

allisonrose~
I'm pretty sure you're Oing today. I have the feeling...

pamered_mom~
We just like keeping our threadkeeper on her toes

Tara~
Glad to see you! Hope all is well.

I had an episode about 10 minutes ago with DH and I cried again. Now I'm fine. It is like there was a flood of emotion and then it was gone. Now he's buggin me fore a nooner... Last night's little dance did wonders for his libido! He's all about the love now. What did I get myself into???