HELP!!!! What age for first bra??

[stayinghome]

My nine year old comes to me tonight, hemming and hawig and finally breaking down and crying, and she asks me if she could start wearing a bra! Now I've noticed bumps there for awhile now, but she never brought it up. She said no one is teasing her, she just wants a bra. I told her I'd take her shopping for one, then she went to bed. Her dad asked what was up, and I told him, and he said isn't she's too young?? Now I'm all confused. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Warmly, Heather E

[sadean]

I started wearing one when i was about 10 (fifth or sixth grade), so she isn't far off agewise. It may not be that she is being "teased", but her friends may be starting to wear them and she is feeling pressure. Have you considered a little sportbra kind of thing until her need is more pressing? It is less a true "bra" and more of a form fitting tank top and may be a good transitional garment. It will make her feel like you are listening to her need and it may make you and dh more comfortable with the idea

I have no girl-children, so I am merely speaking from my 10 year old innerself that remembers "THAT" discussion with my mother.

[shelbean91]

I was about 10 also- I think I was in the 4th grade. Almost 2 full years before most of my friends. I would stick with one of the sports bras types.

[spero]

I just bought my nine-year old a few cute little bras and a sports bra (she plays softball). She is developing a little faster than the other girls and was really starting to be a bit "obvious" through her shirts. So, for the sake of good taste, I suggested we go on a bra-buying trip. She actually enjoyed picking them out...the stores really have a great pre-teen selection these days.

Get ready...my ped tells me that girls as young as eight are getting their periods these days! EEEEEK!

[bloodrayne]

I started wearing a bra in third grade, I had bumps. I was really self conscious about them and even though the bra didn't make much of a difference, it made me feel better.

Definitely look for one of the sport types. They don't look quite like a sports bra, same general shape but prettier, more feminine. They're like a sports bra with regular bra straps. Cups are definitely not necessary until there's something more than bumps. =)

HTH.

[CerridwenLorelei]

heather my dd

started at 9 too -like her mama though she was able to get away with A's whereas I at 9 had to have a c !
my mom's family is umm well early bloomers so to speak
I freaked too even though I had been there myself!!

[stayinghome]

Thank you all so much for the responses. I'll look into sporty things. It's 4:00 am here and I'm up with a restless baby and a bad cold, and it seems so strange to me that I can have a baby and also a child old enough to warrent bra discussion, but there ya go! Warmly, Heather E

[Kirsten]

My kids are also not to this age yet but I clearly remember asking my mom for a bra. Did it while she was washing dishes so I didn't have to make eye contact. Think I was in fifth grade so ten years old (maybe nine - I'm a summer birthday). I was horrified when my mom laughed and told me that she was 36 and barely needed one herself.... All my friends wore a bra. No one teased me either but you do want to wear one - no girl wants to feel like her friends are all developing and leaving her behind. Although having the JCPenney bra lady tell us she had nothing small enough for me was not fun either.... I hope there are more choices now. I ditto the sports bra idea for young girls. I think it is less about the age of the girl and more about when she feels it is time.
Kirsten

[Clarity]

I am with Kristen, I think the girls mostly judge for themselves...I did not hit puberty until about 15.5 - I finally convinced my mom on the bra issue when I was about 14. By that time is was incredibly obvious I was far behind...but little-girl style undershirts (though more stylish now) just made it even more so, so I wore nothing - which also was noticed. I don't believe in either making a girl wear one when she doesn't want one, or refusing to get one for a girl that asks. The sports bra idea sounds very reasonable, I wish they had them when I was younger!

[journeymom]

Please, oh please, get her one if she asks for one!! Better yet, don't wait for her to ask! If she's already got breast buds, just go get her something cute and cheap from Target so it won't matter if she outgrows it in 3 months. Don't worry about whether she needs it or not.

I went far too long without. I wanted one when I was in 4th grade, when some of the other girls wore them just for the heck of it. I remember Mom thought that was just too silly, wearing a "training" bra (the sports bra looking thing) when you didn't actually need it. Now I have to wonder what they were "training" for :LOL But I wasn't going to ask for one after Mom refused the first time, I figured Mom knew best and would take me to get a bra when it was time. Finally in 7th grade a teacher called my mom to let me know it was past time. Oh, so embarrassing.

So there's my take.

[stayinghome]

Well, I decided that if she wanted one, then that's fine. We went to Kohl's last night, and she got three, all different styles. we then bought a new outfit and went out for ice cream- kinda like a girls night out, without dad or sisters. She did indeed seem very grown up when she left for school.... : : Warmly, Heather E

[1jooj]

You did the right thing. I should have had one at nine, but the prevailing attitude of self-loathing in our home led me to avoid it and my mother to avoid it too. Ugh. I didn't get the period talk until after my period, either. Work hard to help her be OK with her parts. It will only help her to be happy with her whole.

[LunaMom]

I think you did the right thing, too. I've noticed in the clothing stores that they have simple little bras for younger girls these days - how I wish they had had those when I was younger! I was a late bloomer and my mom also teased me when I asked for one: "What are you gonna put in it?" Awful! My probelm was juniro high school gym class - we had to change into gym clothes and I was the only braless girl. A friend of mine actually had her mom buy me one! Back then they all came in boxes with huge lettering that said "My First Bra" - isn't that awful???

[pamamidwife]

My daughter, who will be 9 in July, started developing, too. I told her we'd buy her a couple of those little "bralettes" (I'm not joking, that's what they're called) soon.

I think I was in fifth grade when I got a bra, but wanted one much, much earlier. I waited for my mom to suggest, and lived through the tight shirts of the late 70's with embarassment...

[stayinghome]

Thanks for all of the imput! She has had them now for about a week or so, and seems happy. I think it's just a layer betwen her shirt and whats... going on and it makes her feel a bit more discreet. Now what about these pms like hormones... :

[Midnight Mom]

My daughter got her first bra between 3rd and 4th grade. She very much needed it, or I would have waited. And she hasn't stopped growing since. She's 14yo and 36C and I mean a very full C, could prolly wear a D. She passed me up a year ago.

How can I make her stop growing in that particular area?? I know I can't but I sure wish they would stop right where they are.

We just went swim suit shopping 2 days ago. What a nightmare. Nothing we found in the stores will cover her boobs. It drives me insane.

[carmen veranda]

Heather~ Your smiley's at the end of yur post made me tear up a bit. That's the truth isn't it. All happy and sad and confused and off they go......

[momslittleangel]

i was about 12/14 and was a very late bloomer but it sound shes devoloping normal( good luck hormones lol) . i think u should buy her those new bras specily made 4 girls her age or a sports bra. hope this helps

[TiredX2]

I am pretty sure I was in the 5th grade.

DD is in the 3rd grade and no where near needing one (esp since she wears undershirts in the winter) so I am assuming she will get one in 5th grade (right now she is in a 3rd/4th split then she will go to a 5th/6th split).

[JBaxter]

I think I was 4th or 5th grade I remember them well I got bra/panty sets for christmas and was SO excited they all matched ( pastels with little bows on them). They were sport bra types ( before there were such things) that was 30yrs ago and I remember felling so grown up when I had them on. If it makes her feel better about herself I would get them.