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Ugh! Here comes Santa Claus. - Page 2

post #21 of 141
Big, fat liar here.

We do Santa but I'm careful not to go overboard. He only fills the stockings, all other gifts are from family and friends. There is no "naughty or nice". Everyone, including Santa, gives gifts because they want to, behavior has nothing to do with it. So no one is "watching you" because it doesn't matter. And when my children ask if Santa is real I ask, "What do you think?" and base my answer on theirs.

Ds recently said he wasn't sure and really just wanted to know if Santa is real or not. So I told him the truth, that he's not. Ds doesn't seem at all upset about it and, in fact, is very excited about carrying on the myth for his sister.

So Santa, like a lot of other things, can be overdone and some children will not take well to the myth. If it's fun for your family and no one is insisting on it above all else, I think it's fine. I think there's a happy medium between going all out with the myth and not doing it at all, and if you want to find that medium you can.

ETA - For the OP, it sounds like your situation is less about the Santa myth and more about how your family's holiday traditions are not actually yours and you don't even like them. I agree that the Santa myth is being way overplayed and you have the right to tone it down. But the Santa thing is a symptom, not the actual problem.
post #22 of 141
hate it hate it hate it!

next weekend partner is taking the kids to the mall to sit on some perv's lap and profess all their affluenza desires to him.

i hate that i bred into a family that would pretty much pick up a sword to defend the blessed santa.

i find it completely weird and gross.
post #23 of 141
Mama Q~ You cannot be serious about calling the "santas" pervs. That just really rubbed me the wrong way. Are you saying that adults who have child-centered jobs are all pervs? Please explain that very grotesque comment.
post #24 of 141
Within 10 minutes of finding this thread, ds started talking about Santa. I worried about this since he started Kindergarten. I used the "game" idea in another post and told him it was our secret that we know Santa is just a character and that some parents like to play the Santa game. He's excited about our secret and not even telling dh.

I shouldn't worry too much. Another kid at school has fought skeletons and the same kid got bit by a cobra. When we said his friend has a good imagination, ds swore "Yes! He did!" What an imagination his friend has!
post #25 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q View Post
next weekend partner is taking the kids to the mall to sit on some perv's lap and profess all their affluenza desires to him.
Pervs? What on earth makes you say that? I've never had any weird vibes off any of the store Santas around here...and I definitely pay attention when I get "perv" vibes off someone around my kid!
post #26 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blooming View Post
Not sure what to do about Santa over here. I have gradually been saying things like it's what the spirit of Santa brings that is important, not the gifts etc. And reading more stories about Santa and other winter holidays.
I tell my son people make the choice to beleive in Santa. He can choose to or not.
I like your approach a lot!!

I think "allowing" children to believe in Santa is a great way to introduce the concept of having faith in something.

children believe in a magical man that will bring them a gift under the tree.

in most religions the act of faith or having faith is a major part of believing there is indeed a god. Most people have never seen or heard or even felt the presence of god...so how do they know for themselves that god is there?

they have faith.

it's a beautiful virtue/concept to foster in our children.

then when they decide to make a choice in what they wish to believe in they have had the practice at least in believing and having faith in something.

i think it's a beautiful, magical experience for children. I think as adults we could be a much more peaceful and happy society if we all practiced having faith in the magic and wonder and love around us.

Christmas and Santa are real. At least to me anyway!

Merry Christmas. Love Ang.
post #27 of 141
Ang, while I respect the spirit in which your post was written, it sounds like your trying to rationalize lying.

Children can have faith and believe in things of substance, such as their parents, friends, family and community.
post #28 of 141
We don't do santa with our dc, I've never said anything about santa, but dd1 has seen pics and grandma read her the night before X-Mas. We were were at the mall the other day and "santa" came up to dd1 and tried to talk to her. It was so funny, she just gave him a look like "dude, why are you all dressed up" and kept on walking.
post #29 of 141
I think the (short, novella-length, really) book "The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus" by L. Frank Baum (who wrote The Wizard of Oz) is the loveliest compromise on the Santa myth that's out there today. In it, Santa starts off as a human child who is abandoned in a mythical forest to by raised by nymphs (lots of environmental and nature themes) and the story expands from there.

For mamas who want a middle ground, I highly recommend giving it a read to see if the "story" might work for your family.

Christine
post #30 of 141
Thats a very odd statement that santas are pervs..

While I think thats just crazy. I do find it annoying when I go to the mall and see a baby screaming in santa's lap while mom and dad jiggle toys to try to make the baby smile for the camera... I saw that last week and I wanted to say something to those parents... they had that poor 9ish month old baby screaming and shreaking for them for almost 15 minutes... I was on a play date at the toddler center in the mall and santa is right next to it.
post #31 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2toomany
I do find it annoying when I go to the mall and see a baby screaming in santa's lap while mom and dad jiggle toys to try to make the baby smile for the camera... I saw that last week and I wanted to say something to those parents... they had that poor 9ish month old baby screaming and shreaking for them for almost 15 minutes...
:

I feel so bad for those poor babies who are frightened and upset during the photo-taking.
post #32 of 141
we don't do santa here either & all my friends & neighbors are starting to be fearful that my kids will spoil the fun. has this happened to any of you or are you preparing to be the "bad parent" on the block/in school/on the street?
post #33 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I do not at all care for telling children that "Santa is a real, magical man that will bring gifts to our house on Christmas night." It bugs me. I am uncomfortable with the lie. I am well aware that many many people do not consider it to actually be a lie, but IMO, unless you believe that a being/man will appear in your home and leave gifts you had nothing to do with buying...it's a lie. Wierds me right the out. Your son's comment about how "Grandma wouldn't lie to me." is exactly why.

All that being said, I've got no issue personally with the myths and story of Santa when they are approached as just that: myths and stories. I told the kids about how Santa came to be over the years, what cultures have contributed to the myth, etc. I think that the character of Santa is generosity and kindness. I can totally get behind those ideas. Celebrating Santa can be as easy as reading different stories about him, still giggling as you sign presents as being "from Santa" even though everyone knows that they aren't, and practicing giving to those around us in mindful ways. Lying need not have any part of it.
I was going to write something, but that pretty much says it all for me!

I think dp might have wanted to "do" Santa, but it really is much more important to me to be completely honest, than it is important to him to do Santa. kwim?
post #34 of 141

Santa

My DD is 2 and starting to ask questions. I do not want to lie to her. I think having an imagination is fun and good.

I know my family thinks I am very mean when I told her that Santa is a make-believe man. I have been having so much turmoil lately from family & society for my parenting style. They think I am mean not to give her daily sweets/sugar, and that she will be a "bad" girl because of my style of gentle discipline.
post #35 of 141
We did Santa when I was little, I thought it was so cool when I figured it out! (my Mom was a little horrified, that I was so young, but Dad thought it was funny that I figured it out) Anyway, I know most kids don't feel that way. My dh's family didn't really do much of a Santa thing, so we probably won't either. Although I did get mall pictures. dd is only 6mo and it was so cute! She loved Santa, she didn't even really want to come back to me, she could see me, but thought his suit and beard were way cool and needed to be played with more! I don't think we'll do a lot of Santa stuff with our kids though.
post #36 of 141
We don't "do" Santa here, either. But I will admit that I had DS's picture taken with a mall santa when he was 6 weeks old for the kitsch value. He was not upset at all, or I wouldn't have done it. Neither of my kids would go near any Santa since. One very nice Santa threw little bags of M&Ms to them when they wouldn't get within 20 feet of him.

I never talked Santa up, but there might have been one present for each person from "santa", and that is just when someone wants to give a surprise anonymously. Then we all get to be Santa if we want to.

My son is 6, and has never believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. I never did, either, and it drove my mother BONKERS. She cajoled, made threats ("only kids who believe in Santa get presents"), everything to try to get me to believe. I think some kids just use their rational powers and decide that these things don't make sense. I would never make him doubt his own faculties by trying to get him to believe in things that don't exist.

It's wierd, because at this point I cringe when I hear people talking about Santa in the traditional way. It seems so alien to me, even though it is what I grew up with.

L.
post #37 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leatherette View Post
My son is 6, and has never believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. I never did, either, and it drove my mother BONKERS. She cajoled, made threats ("only kids who believe in Santa get presents"), everything to try to get me to believe.
I just do not understand this kind of thing at all. Even as someone who "does" Santa, I just don't get it. Why would anyone do that to a child?
post #38 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I just do not understand this kind of thing at all. Even as someone who "does" Santa, I just don't get it. Why would anyone do that to a child?
Like someone else said....I think for many people, believing in Santa is a stepping stone to believing in other supernatural beings.

You can visit Santa and talk to him, but when Santa visits you, you're not aware of his presence. Santa rewards you if you're good, and gives you coal if you're bad. Santa has magical powers. He sees everything you do.

Sounds like religion.
post #39 of 141
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkmilk View Post
I like your approach a lot!!

I think "allowing" children to believe in Santa is a great way to introduce the concept of having faith in something.

children believe in a magical man that will bring them a gift under the tree.

in most religions the act of faith or having faith is a major part of believing there is indeed a god. Most people have never seen or heard or even felt the presence of god...so how do they know for themselves that god is there?

they have faith.

it's a beautiful virtue/concept to foster in our children.

then when they decide to make a choice in what they wish to believe in they have had the practice at least in believing and having faith in something.

i think it's a beautiful, magical experience for children. I think as adults we could be a much more peaceful and happy society if we all practiced having faith in the magic and wonder and love around us.

Christmas and Santa are real. At least to me anyway!

Merry Christmas. Love Ang.
I really think that the sentiment is lovely. My mother really believes in the way that you are speaking of. So I do understand what you are saying. When my mom told me the same things, I felt really like she was trying to justify it as was also mentioned. My specific problem with that line of thinking is believing in Santa seems so manatory. I haven't really ever run across anyone that taught their children, "well, there may or may not be a Santa. You need to search your heart and decide for yourself how you feel about it. However, each year I get gifts for you and put the under the tree while you sleep." In my home Santa was always there until we knew the truth, and then that is the other part that bugs me. There is a "truth". No man comes down your chimney on Dec 24 and departs in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. It really doesn't matter how much faith you have, there isn't a man doing that.
I do believe faith is a wonderful thing, and that we should foster that in our children. I just don't see how Santa factors into that for me.

Quote:
I think as adults we could be a much more peaceful and happy society if we all practiced having faith in the magic and wonder and love around us.
I really agree with every word of this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2tadpoles
Sounds like religion.
To me that is so creepy.
post #40 of 141
For me, the existence if Santa is not automatically a lie. If a child were to ask me (and mt two year old hasn't ), I would tell them some people think there is a Santa and some people don't--you have to decide for yourself (my opinion is not more valid than anyone else's). I'm kind of dissappointed that most adults really believe that the "truth" is Santa's a myth! My mom taught me that everythibg exists, it's just a question of when and where!

Now, the truth about who left those presents under the tree is another question all together--if you left them, you know it!: We're not really planning to have presents from Santa--just stockings, but I expect Santa to come up in homeschool at which point we will discuss different traditions of Santa, origins, portrayals of Santa (guy at the mall), spirit of Santa, and possibility of Santa. Hmmm, rereading this, we will probably approach religions similarly. My religion states that what is true is what's true for you, so I'm not telling my kids there is or is not a Krishna!

We do plan to leave cookies for Santa (dh insisted we do that even when we didn't have dd, and we secretly fill up each other's stockings too). It's a game and a fun Christmas tradition for us.

I don't have a problem with families that go whole hog on Santa--it was a definite possibility that we considered. I think our decisions will keep it fun for us in a less commercial way than some Santa traditions!
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