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Ugh! Here comes Santa Claus. - Page 3

post #41 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_b View Post
I'm going to tell my dd the truth about Santa. Her grandparents are pretty horrified by it. We spend Christmas at her grandparents' so if she wants to pretend that's fine with me, but she will definitely know that it is make believe.
Okay, I have a question. I plan on telling the truth about Santa, too, but how does one DO this when your child is only 3 years old. Sure, you can tell them the story about a man who comes down the chimney and leaves presents at Christmas but he's not real, but I am not sure that at that age, they really understand the difference between real and fantasy. And the fact that all of DD's little friends will be insisting that Santa is coming is going to make this task even harder. Any thoughts on this?

To the OP: Show your son the respect he deserves and tell him the truth. He is old enough and the longer you leave it the greater chance that he really will feel lied to later on. If you ask me, he already does know and he is leading you by the chain in order to keep the gravy train of presents coming but that's just my humble opinion.
post #42 of 141
Okay I couldn't resist I'm posting again! My only problem with the Santa teaches faith line of reasoning, is that we are playing Santa. Some mythical/magical man does not bring toys. So if that is our way of teaching faith, our children might grow up and no longer believe in God (or whover you believe in) because they outgrew it, like they out grew Santa. I believe that my God is real and does real things, not in the same sense of people who believe in the spirit of Santa. I also believe in the spirit of Santa, but it's different than my other applications of faith. I may not be making any sense, and I'm not trying to preach to anyone, or tell them their way is wrong but that's just my take!
post #43 of 141
I don't think there is a thing in the world wrong with doing Santa. But I won't ever lie to DS when he asks if he's real. I'll ask him what he thinks and go from there. When he asks me straight out, I'll tell him.

We did Santa and I eventually just knew it was my mom. No issues here from it. Santa is part of the fun of the season for us personally.
post #44 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxMominCT View Post
My only problem with the Santa teaches faith line of reasoning, is that we are playing Santa. Some mythical/magical man does not bring toys. So if that is our way of teaching faith, our children might grow up and no longer believe in God (or whover you believe in) because they outgrew it, like they out grew Santa.
Or it might not make a difference at all.

My parents never did Santa with me, and I believe that gods don't exist.
post #45 of 141
I love Santa, and we definitely welcome the jolly old soul at our house. My daughter is five, and she believes unquestioningly. As soon as she asks, though, we'll tell her the truth -- Santa is the spirit of giving and generosity in us all, not a literal person, Mommy and Daddy give her those presents.
post #46 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post
Okay, I have a question. I plan on telling the truth about Santa, too, but how does one DO this when your child is only 3 years old.
My kids are 8 and 11. I always told them Santa was just a story that some people pretend is real with their kids. My kids never had a problem with the concept.
post #47 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffer23 View Post
I don't think there is a thing in the world wrong with doing Santa. But I won't ever lie to DS when he asks if he's real. I'll ask him what he thinks and go from there. When he asks me straight out, I'll tell him.
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post #48 of 141
I have known a few people in the past who's parents never did the Santa thing and were told from the beginning he was just a made up man etc.. ~~All three told me, as adults, they wished their parents would have given them the joy of experiencing Santa, even if a myth. ~They also made an interesting point. Have you ever known a person who grew up to be angry at their parents for allowing Santa to be part of their lives until they grew out of the idea?

I remember thinking, WOW! I never knew anyone who did not do the Santa thing, minus people who celebrated other religious holidays. These were definitely interesting conversations.

~Just thought I'd share.

Have a great day.
post #49 of 141
I totally can relate to the no Santa? - no god! thing as well. I was horribly upset that my parents had lied to me about Santa and it took me years to realize that they were not serial liars. I left their church and their home as soon as I could beat a path away.

My own kids are blissfully living without santa or holiday madness. We spend our winter with games and quiet times around the fire and extra cookies we bake together. I like it so much more than the crazy junk I grew up with.
post #50 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiral View Post
Have you ever known a person who grew up to be angry at their parents for allowing Santa to be part of their lives until they grew out of the idea?
I've never known anybody in real life who was upset about playing Santa, but I've seen several posts on these forums from people who felt betrayed by their parents.
post #51 of 141
Quote:
I left their church and their home as soon as I could beat a path away.
Really? Entirely because they pretended there was a Santa Claus? That seems like kind of a strong reaction.
post #52 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiral View Post
I have known a few people in the past who's parents never did the Santa thing and were told from the beginning he was just a made up man etc.. ~~All three told me, as adults, they wished their parents would have given them the joy of experiencing Santa, even if a myth.
Here's a fourth! ::raises hand::

Like I said, my parents never did Santa because they didn't believe in lying to children. I think my parents had issues with separating one idea from another. I don't think that pretending and lying are the same things. My parents also never encouraged me to do well in school or to try out for extracurriculars because they didn't believe in "pushing" children. It's like, they go to extremes.

Anyway, I did Santa with both of my kids, but it was always treated with an element of lightness. DS1 asked me when he was five if Santa is real. I asked him what he thought. That led to a discussion of mythology and superstition. DS2 figured it out when he was about 7. Nobody had any hard feelings, as far as I can tell.
post #53 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2tadpoles View Post
Or it might not make a difference at all.

My parents never did Santa with me, and I believe that gods don't exist.
I agree with you too! It really may not make a difference, but I still think it isn't a good teaching faith tool!
post #54 of 141
My parents did Santa. Well, my mom did. My dad was out of the picture during those years. My mom got really pushy about it when I caught on to the implausibility, and I felt she was insulting my intelligence, because she didn't have any real rebuttals to my arguments. It wasn't a huge betrayal or anything like that, but I thought the whole thing was awfully silly.

In my book, the notion that Santa is 'practice' for faith is just one more argument against : We are a nonreligious family, but it seems to me that if my children have a need for faith, they will find it on their own, without having to be trained in it when they're too young to think critically. Blind faith can be a terribly dangerous thing, also...

I think the holidays have magic and to spare without pretending Santa is real. I do like the idea of presenting Santa as a fun pretend game that people like to play, and plan on taking that approach.
post #55 of 141
My husband is worried about Santa, mostly because he knew some people in college whose faith in their parents was shattered when they learned the truth. I, on the other hand, love Santa and still kinda believe in him today. OK, I believe in the spirit of giving that seems to be present in December, not some guy in a red suit. I also believe in imagination and I realized that it takes a lot of imagination to believe a fat man can fit down a tiny chimney (and all the other implausibilities).

I also *enjoyed* shattering the myth of Santa when I was little. I remember doing handwriting analysis on the gift card (Santa did use different paper) and one year I realized the handwriting was too close to my mom's. The next year I set a trap for Santa. My dad would come check on us to make sure we were asleep. Since I had a problem with smiling if I was awake and faking being asleep, I pulled the covers up to my nose so my dad wouldn't notice me smiling. He and my mom then went downstairs to put out the presents from Santa and I snuck down the stairs avoiding the creaky one. I burst into the living room yelling, "caught ya, caught ya" - fortunately I didn't wake little brother and sister. I thought I was so smart.

Anyways, I enjoyed the whole thing soooo much I feel like I would be depriving DD if I didn't allow her the opportunity to catch me. I too feel uncomfortable with lying so I think I will just follow her lead if she asks if Santa is real. Of course, DH and I have to agree on a strategy first.
post #56 of 141
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lalaland42 View Post
. Of course, DH and I have to agree on a strategy first.
Yes, believe me that is key.
post #57 of 141
We've always been truthful. DS was 4 the first time the issue came up (we aren't Christian and were travelling during Christmas when he was 3, before that he was too young to ask about it). He asked who Santa is and I told him about how Christmas to us means giving gifts to people we love to celebrate them and let them know we care about them and love them. I explained that some people take this spirit of generosity and call it Santa and believe in the guy in the red suit coming down the chimney and leaving presents by the tree. His first question "is it true?". I asked what he thought. He said: "no, it's the Mommy and Daddy".

But then later he said that on Christmas eve he wanted to take all of his toys and put them in the living room by the fireplace so that when Santa came down the chimney he would see that DS has enough toys and give the ones in his bag to other kids who don't have any!!!!! Wow!

Anyway we've never tried to convince him that it's real- we just ask that if his friends believe that he let them believe. Now if his friends ask him if Santa is real he answers: "he's real if you believe he is, he isn't if you don't ".
post #58 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moochie Mamma View Post
But then later he said that on Christmas eve he wanted to take all of his toys and put them in the living room by the fireplace so that when Santa came down the chimney he would see that DS has enough toys and give the ones in his bag to other kids who don't have any!!!!! Wow!
What a generous boy.
post #59 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by lalaland42 View Post
I remember doing handwriting analysis on the gift card (Santa did use different paper) and one year I realized the handwriting was too close to my mom's.
We still do occasionaly "Santa" gifts in our family. These are usually some offbeat little gift where the giver wants to remain anonymous. (For example, my mom gave my dh a stuffed moose a few years ago, and it was from "Santa".) When we do that, we'll usually get a friend or co-worker or something to write the tag.
post #60 of 141
Sooo...could someone explain to me what the harm is in letting your child believe in something that you don't?
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