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Would this upset you?

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
So, this is becoming sort of a pattern I guess and it really gets under my skin.

When my three dd's are with their father and stepmother, out and about, almost everytime they go through a fast food drive-through and they get their children food but tell my children they can eat whatever leftovers are in the fridge when they get home.

It happened a bunch on their camping trip too. There were 4 day old PB&J's in the cooler, they all were out together, their kids got fast food, mine were told to eat the old PB&J's.

Am I overreacting if this really p*sses me off?
And how do I explain this away to my kids?
post #2 of 40
No, it is not acceptable... I would be miffed also.
post #3 of 40
that is really odd. have you told them before that you dont want your kids to eat fast food? maybe they think they are abiding by your wishes and not feeding it to them? i am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here. i cant imagine any other reason for it.
post #4 of 40
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lillian View Post
that is really odd. have you told them before that you dont want your kids to eat fast food? maybe they think they are abiding by your wishes and not feeding it to them? i am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here. i cant imagine any other reason for it.
Its just because their stepmother is a b*tch, my exdh does whatever she says and she resents my kids and the money that is spent on them - you know, that child support that the state steals from his check...which BTW, is a 12 year old child support order, so grossly out of date.

Basically a Cinderella type thing x's 3 going on with my dd's.

I just dont know what to tell them to ease their feelings when they get treated like this.
post #5 of 40
That would be enough to make me keep the kids home. That's really mean.
post #6 of 40
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBZ View Post
That would be enough to make me keep the kids home. That's really mean.
I so wish I could.
post #7 of 40
If they don't have a reason to think that you don't let your kids eat fast food, then yes, it's extremely upsetting and rude!
post #8 of 40
Woah...yeah I'd be pissed.
post #9 of 40
Overreacting? How on earth could you possibly think that you're overreacting? That's an incredibly mean way to treat kids, and your ex needs to grow a spine, and stop allowing this crap. If his wife resents spending money on his kids so much, then her kids can have the PB&J, as well. Giving her kids a treat (although fast food doesn't qualify, imo ) while depriving your children is a nasty way to behave.

We took my nephew on vacation with us this year - he got treated exactly the same way as ds1 - visited the same attractions, got the same treats, etc. Doing anything else would have been vile.
post #10 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
If they don't have a reason to think that you don't let your kids eat fast food, then yes, it's extremely upsetting and rude!
:
post #11 of 40
Not only would that upset me I would raise a little hell! Not in front of the kids of course.
post #12 of 40
Can you imagine how hurt those dc's are!! I would be very upset if my child was treated this way by anyone much less my ex-dh. I would ask children how they feel about it and if it bothers them ask ex to explain why they are treated this way by him. Maybe if he knows it is bothering them he will be more attentive to their feelings?
post #13 of 40
No you are not overreacting. I'm not sure how anyone could be so hurtful to children.
Stepmom knew he had kids when they got married now they both need to step up and be adults.

Can you point out how hurtful their behavoir is to you're dear children?
post #14 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by KentuckyDoulaMama View Post
Am I overreacting if this really p*sses me off?
And how do I explain this away to my kids?
No your not overreacting thats just not on if they buy for their children then they should also buy for yours and your exdh's children or not buy for any its not fair to leeve them out imo
post #15 of 40
You need to clear this up with the Ex!
It really is very odd and insulting to your kids not to feed them whatever the rest of the family is eating including fast food. All kids that age love the idea of fast food and the little gifts.
I think it is your responsibility as the Mom to clarify the food and treats issue with their father. Tell him clearly that they are to eat; drink, and snack and share in whatever fast food or other food and activities are going on with the other kids. You want your kids included and offered all this type of food others are eating even if it goes against your regular diet beliefs!

I cared for my friend's son and she is a ridged raw foods and vegan mama. So is her six -year-old son. I was taking the kids to the zoo and she told me clearly that he could eat whatever he wants or asks for that the other kids are eating. I was shocked but she wants him to feel included. The first thing he asked for when we got to the zoo was a hot dog from the food vendor cart and an ice cream.

I do not eat like that, but the kid loved this stuff when he was not with his mom!
post #16 of 40
This is a very sad situation and I can't imagine how it makes your dd's feel . I would definately follow-up on it with your x. It's totally unacceptable.
post #17 of 40
That is just plain awful. I would be on the phone w/ my ex right away. Your children should not be treated as second class to your ex's other children. I would not treat a stranger like that, nevermind my own flesh and blood. What is wrong w/ that man?
post #18 of 40
and personally, I don't know if I would feed ANYONE a four day old pb&j sandwich! that's just gross.
post #19 of 40
: this happened to me as a child... everyone had a really good dinner.. step mom, dad, and step moms kids... Me and my brother got mac n cheese or a cold sandwich.. On purpose... there was plenty for everyone but we where not allowed to eat with them.. we even had a separate table for us.

Its not cool and it will mess up your kids royally. You should nip it in the bud now! This is a form of abuse. and its just going to get worse.. In all ways.. Its this today and tomorrow they will have to use the exs kids cold dirty bath water... trust me. Its sick and not right and its mental abuse.
post #20 of 40
Uhm, yeah that would upset me! Just reading that upsets me. I can't fathom anyone doing that to children. Is it just to remind them they are different and not the same as her kids? Is she paying for it all and doesn't feel that she needs to pay for your kids? I can't even understand that rationale at all. I can't wrap my mind around it. Wow. I would say something. I don't know how. I would probably even send cash with them just so they could have some happy meals too. I know you shouldn't have to at all! How sad.
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