Originally Posted by HeatherHeather
ETA: What is he trying to teach her by taking her off the Qwest plan? If she still has a phone and a plan, then she could care less I'm sure. Why does he want her off his plan? Why does he think of it as his plan?
These are great questions. His reaction to this incident is telling. It seems
like he hasn't accepted her as part of the family. Or maybe the other way around. He doesn't consider himself as part of the family. He's still thinking with a me-against-her mentality.
Is she mouthy to him? Maybe if she lost important things constantly I'd understand his reaction. It would be exacerbating after a while. But what you describe about your daughter indicates she's a reasonably responsible teen
, and everybody makes mistakes. His reaction is out of proportion to this incident.
Ack! I only read to the bottom of page 1 and didn't notice pages 2 and 3! Off to read the rest of them.
|Originally Posted by Just_Isabel -- But if she paid for her phone, and she is paying for her own bills, why does he care?
Moondiapers -- IF she loses her phone somewhere outside and doesn't notice it, and if someone calls everyone they know and she ends up with a huge bill - just make her pay for it, and she'll learn her lesson well. .
Because most kids can't cover a possible $700 phone bill and his credit could possibly suffer while she's coming up with the money. I know if my child lost her phone and ended up with a bill that high I'd not be able to cover the cost while she earned the money, and my phone would get shut off and my credit dinged.
True, but this did not happen. NOTHING happened to the phone, other than it not being where she expected it to be when she went to look for it. She didn't leave it out side of the house, BECAUSE SHE IS REASONABLY RESPONSIBLE. Truly, not looking for it for a few days is NOT a real issue. And still, what if she'd lost it outside the house and someone ran up a boat load of charges on it, what then? Sounds like a one-off for this girl. She's not a flake, and mess does not equal being a flake. Parents
sometimes have to pay a price (literally and figuratively) for their children's mistakes. The OP's dh needs to try to walk on water next time he flips out about his step daughter making a really minor mistake
like this. Yes, he has a balancing act to perform here. He should not be disciplining her, as he is not an original parent. Yet I would expect him to accept her and treat her with respect, because, for gosh sake, he knew what he was getting into when he got married. Dd is part of the package. Yes, he's in a difficult spot for a while. So. What. Step parenting is difficult. It's time he accept that.
That eye rolling and finger pointing is utterly childish.