What will I need to be on the lookout for?

[annettemarie]

I've been hesitating to post this for a while, but I figure it's best to be prepared.

My first two boys were circ'ed. I can't explain or excuse it--for some reason, in the midst of the decisions to sling, cloth diaper, breastfeed, delay/selectively vax, not spank, co-sleep, etc, it just completely was off my radar screen.

This baby, if a boy, will not be circ'ed. How different should I expect things to be? We're having a homebirth so there shouldn't be issues there, and we are 99.9% sure we aren't vaxing this time around, but I will still probably try to do a well baby check or two in the very beginning. How worried do I have to be about our doc (she's a family doc rather than a pediatrician) fiddling around with his penis? Is caring for an intact boy that different than caring for a circ'ed one? Is there a thread about this somewhere I just missed?

Thanks for your help!

[Sandrine]

I don't have boys as you know but i do know that you need to make sure that any drs don't retract their foreskin. It will retract on it's own when it's ready. i think it's around age 4 and later.

ot: when are you going to add another chapter to your HP story?? It's really great and i can't wait to read more.

[kldliam]

This baby, if a boy, will not be circ'ed. How different should I expect things to be?

The person that it will be the most different for (in a good way) is the child. He will have the great fortune of no early birth trauma.

How worried do I have to be about our doc (she's a family doc rather than a pediatrician) fiddling around with his penis?

Very. Most American MD's are Foreskin ignorant. The golden rule is to leave it alone...make sure she knows that you do not want her touching his penis at all. Most MD's are ignorant about the AAP foreskin policy and tend to forcibally retract it despite the guidlines not too. The penis should never be retracted by anyone but the child, it will retract anywhere from 2 on up to 18 yrs.

Is caring for an intact boy that different than caring for a circ'ed one?

It's easier. Just leave it alone. Bath the child like normal and wash the penis like a finger.

[dnr3301]

Yay Annette! what a great blessing, to be able to get past the past and not repeat it.

the care is easier, less to it than a circumcised baby. Wipe. That's about it. I know you have girls (at least one, right?); they have more to wash than the intact boy. NOCIRC has pamphlets www.nocirc.org, pamphlet #4 has simple care instructions. #5 is care for the cut penis, if you want to compare and contrast.

The warnings about retractions are just that: warnings. The current medical professionals only really know about taking care of a circumcised penis, so they apply that same care to the intact penis. They will tell you to pull back to clean the head. When the baby is cut, you have to keep the wound clean, but with intact babies you don't have a wound, so nothing to keep clean. the skin is attached to the head, so it can't get poop on it, so you don't have to clean it. Doctors worry about the opening, so they want proof that it opens and goes back, when it is really only a concern with cut kids, not intact kids. In fact, in "helping", they end up hurting the child. Sounds an awful like induction, says the doula in me, lol.

So, in the end, no one should retract his foreskin but him. He should be in charge of when his head appears. Think of it like you daughter: no one would even think about checking to see on a newborn girl if she will be able to stretch enough to have sex or a baby, there is no reason to see as a newborn if your son retracts.

Please feel free to keep asking questions here or to pm me.

[mamakay]

Just make sure the doc knows not to retract the baby and it'll be cool. We see a GP instead of a ped., too, and he couldn't have cared less about ds's penis. Didn't even make us take off the diaper at the visits.
Family doctors seem to have a "less is more" attitude towards healthcare, compared to peds, who seem to think "If less is more, how much MORE is MORE?!?!".
So a family doc is far less of a threat to an intact penis, IMO.

As far as taking care of an intact penis, it's so, so not an issue. Worry about your son's foreskin like you'd worry about a girl's labia. Wipe the poop/pee off when you change diapers, swish some water around or whatever during the bath, and call it good.
Don't retract it or "mess" with it at all and it'll be fine.
It's so easy. Actually, changing girl diapers is much more of an issue since there are nooks and crannies there, and even circed boys often end up having folds and whatnots that intact boys don't have. So it'll probably surprise you how easy it is. Intact boys win the prize for the most easy to care for parts.

And congratulations!

[annettemarie]

Thanks! To tell you the truth, we never did anything all that special with the circ'ed boys penises. I mean, I just sort of swished everything in the tub but never went out of my way to scrub anything. It sounds like I should just carry on with this?

[mamakay]

Yep. Same thing.

[mama_at_home]

I have one circ'ed and one intact as well. Caring for an intact penis is SOOO easy. You basically don't do anything at all, just wash the outside like the rest of his body. I personally would not let any dr. touch your son's penis for any reason. It is totally unneccessary and I have heard of way too many babies being retracted by a dr. who was "just checking" something. While your baby is still dressed, I would tell your dr. not to touch his penis under any circumstance and that he may LOOK if he needs to. Make sure the dr. understands this 100% before you allow your son to be examined. You really need to be on guard, unfortunately. Anyway, it is so nice to hear you will be leaving your baby whole. :