Do my kids have enough time to be kids??

[rachelagain]

I was homeschooled, so we had all the time in the world. We lived out in the country and never had any commitments. We ran around outside, built forts, went hiking, etc.
Life is completely different for my kids and I feel guilty about it...
My oldest gets home from school at 3:30 pm, has 15-40 min of homework (they said to expect 40 min of homework for 4th grade and then add 10 min each year) So on a typical day he is done with homework around 4:30 pm, then I have him do 15 min piano practice, 5 min memorizing Bible verses for their church club and also have him do a chore around the house-- so by this time Dad is home- and dinner will be ready soon. Then we have family time after dinner. (Family reading, playing games, etc.) And Bedtime at 8:15 pm (after he's read for 15 min- because the school wants him to do that every day too).
He doesn't complain at all, seems happy with life, but I feel bad because he never seems to have time to play except Saturdays.
The other boys have 40 min less of school and 10 min of homework once a week, so they are usually done w/ chores, piano and playing for a while before dinner.
But still 30 minutes a day to use their imagination is not alot in my mind! And they love to play with legos and things that they build, so it's not like they want to veg in front of the TV...

[kewb]

As long as he is happy I would not stress too much over it.

[tboroson]

I'm curious, why did you opt to send your kids to school, when you were apparently very happy with your homeschooling experience? I don't mean that to be a criticism, more a matter of wondering since we're homeschooling our kids now, and wonder what they'll think about it in 20 years!

How much "family time" do you get each night? It feels to me like many of the activities you describe: reading, homework, piano practice, could all be lumped into "family time". Personally, I would move the afternoon activities to the evening, whether rolling them into family time or by pushing back bedtime a little, and let him have some free time right after school. He's just spent hours sitting in school, sitting still and doing work pages and having a teacher lecture to him. I think he *does* need some decompression time right afterward. That time between school and dinner, I think, is critical to that.

I don't remember what time my parents sent me to bed at that age, though I do remember them being fairly hard-nosed about it; but I recall that my younger siblings went to bed later than that in 4th grade. My brother was a wrestler, so he had practice after dinner two days a week. I know I sang in choir and went to youth group, both after-dinner activities. Your kids' time is so highly structured just with your daily activities that there would be no opportunity for your ds to choose an extracurricular activity if one interested him.

[rachelagain]

tboroson-
Here is another post I did, it explains a bit more about my homeschool experience. I was happy with the amount of free time I had, yes, not necessarily with the academics of it.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=572261

My oldest son really does need to go to bed that early- or he has a hard time waking up and is just a grump. :-)
WE have about 1-2 hours of "family time" about 4 nights a week- the reason I don't want to push all the homework/piano, etc into that is then all 5 of us would be doing something different in different rooms of the house. I grew up having family time after dinner, and I really appreciate that, so that is something I want my kids to grow up with. When they are all teen agers I want to still have a relationship with them- things we share, traditions, etc.

[wildmonkeys]

I don't know what to tell you because I also struggle with being afraid my ds1is in school too much.

The difference is that I did attend school and was in an advanced academic program with LOTS of extra homework. I was also VERY scheduled. Gymnastics practice for 3 hours a day 3-4 weekdays and a 4 hour practice on Saturday. I also did Girl Scouts, played the violin, and tried out various other extra activities at different points in my youth. I remember my childhood as very fun and carefree and have a very close relationship with my parents despite the fact that when I look back I was very overscheduled. I have been consciously keeping my kids schedules much more open with more playtime, but truthfully I don't have a bad taste in my mouth over how busy I was....

Don't know if that is helpful, but for what it is worth it does seem to offer a different perspective that may or may not be helpful.

BJ
Barney, Ben & #3 due 3/3/07

[redhookmom]

When I worry about free time I remind myself that my kids go to school 175 days a year. That leaves 190 days that there is no school!

[sophmama]

It looks like the only option I can see is to give them more free time after school and have them do homework as a part of "family time". Do they get recess at school?

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by redhookmom

When I worry about free time I remind myself that my kids go to school 175 days a year. That leaves 190 days that there is no school!

I agree. And they have nights and weekends and breaks throughout the school year.

When they are at school they're with their friends and they can spend time being kids with them through recess and other times throughout the day. Our children only know what they are used to and your children are probably used to what they are doing. Children thrive on routine and it sounds like you have a good one for your children. My oldest two have homework (3 evenings per week) after being in school all day and music and chores but they still have time to be themselves and get creative and do what they like to do.