So many times when we attend a family celebration where gifts are exchanged I walk away feeling like we are thought of as cheap. No one has ever said this, but I just get that feeling. This last weekend for example, we went to DH's nephew's first birthday and everybody else brought $50 toys and we bought a DVD and pajamas. Both which matched the theme of his party!! (His mom didn't even want toys because I asked what she wanted and bought accordingly). Anyway, it just bothers me afterwards. When I first came into DH's family they weren't like this but they have all moved and now have a totally different social circle and now it's kind of like everybody has to outdo everybody else. Christmas is likely going to be the same way.
I put a lot of thought into our gifts and I often ask about the interests of the person that I'm buying for. We gave Dh's parents some decorations for a room in their home that they were re-decorating and that was 2 years ago and they're still hanging in the room and match perfectly with the decor and color scheme. (just an example) Also, DSIL asked for some very practical gifts for her birthday this year and even last weekend she was using them. I just don't feel that spending a lot of money necessarily equals a good gift.
The other thing is that there are 21 in our family much less friends parties that we attend each year and Christmas when we buy for everyone and that puts a huge dent in our budget. At $50 a gift we would be spending over $2500.00 a year just on gifts. That just isn't doable.
Why do you think I feel this way? I know that you all will understand here, but how do you make yourself feel better about this kind of thing??
I put a lot of thought into our gifts and I often ask about the interests of the person that I'm buying for. We gave Dh's parents some decorations for a room in their home that they were re-decorating and that was 2 years ago and they're still hanging in the room and match perfectly with the decor and color scheme. (just an example) Also, DSIL asked for some very practical gifts for her birthday this year and even last weekend she was using them. I just don't feel that spending a lot of money necessarily equals a good gift.
The other thing is that there are 21 in our family much less friends parties that we attend each year and Christmas when we buy for everyone and that puts a huge dent in our budget. At $50 a gift we would be spending over $2500.00 a year just on gifts. That just isn't doable.
Why do you think I feel this way? I know that you all will understand here, but how do you make yourself feel better about this kind of thing??
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they can deal with it. if they don't appreciate my home-made bread and hand-knit scarves, they can give it to someone who will. 
overanalyzing it's a gift. :rofl I think your present was awesome. A lot of times I just give the dvd or the pjs not both.
: ). It really REALLY bothers me!! My brother, for example and his wife are sickeningly materialistic... I really feel if they want to buy something, at least just buy for the kids, my brother and I are grownups, and don't need to be buying present for each other anymore. So when he pestered and pestered what I wanted, I finally told him some nice Smartwool socks. He said this wasn't a "good enough" request, since it was practical, and I should be requesting something that was more personal (what? a spa package?). Good God! I just don't get it!
