We've had a lot of discussion of Alethea Solter's Aware Baby theories in different forums. Basically the idea is that crying to a sympathetic, loving ear allows babies and children to vent their stresses.
I haven't followed Solter's advice to the letter, but it has been my practice to sort of converse with Dd when she is upset, and as she's gotten more communicative with signs at first, and now words, she can explain why she's crying. Like she'll sign that she was up on the chair and fell down and hit her chin. We'll talk about it, and she'll quickly move on and return to playing. I rarely use distraction with her and I don't say Don't Cry. I see other parents do this and they usually seem to have a bag full of toys and stuffed animals, and when their child cries, they pull something out of the bag and wave it around, and often, the child does stop crying.
Well not only do I not believe that approach is right for us, but I can barely remember to pack an extra diaper when we leave the house, much less grab a trunk of toys. So it's just Dd and me and we have to cope when she's upset.
Today we returned from a trip out of town. Dd dislikes riding in her carseat in a taxi, and cried horribly when we put her in. I slid in next to her, said a few things that didn't help, stroked her face, and finally said, "we're going to the airport, we're going to get on a plane and go home."
"Home!" she said, and signed for airplane. She did not cry at all after that. We talked about what we would do at home. Lunch, nurse, nap...she was happy for the rest of the trip.
I think my perseverence with taking the time to talk over most every cry (fortunately Dd doesn't cry very often or it might not have been possible), has paid off in that now she responds really well to verbal explanations. She knows when she is crying that we can talk things out, and she isn't looking for me to wave around a stuffed animal (that I would have left home in the first place).
I haven't followed Solter's advice to the letter, but it has been my practice to sort of converse with Dd when she is upset, and as she's gotten more communicative with signs at first, and now words, she can explain why she's crying. Like she'll sign that she was up on the chair and fell down and hit her chin. We'll talk about it, and she'll quickly move on and return to playing. I rarely use distraction with her and I don't say Don't Cry. I see other parents do this and they usually seem to have a bag full of toys and stuffed animals, and when their child cries, they pull something out of the bag and wave it around, and often, the child does stop crying.
Well not only do I not believe that approach is right for us, but I can barely remember to pack an extra diaper when we leave the house, much less grab a trunk of toys. So it's just Dd and me and we have to cope when she's upset.
Today we returned from a trip out of town. Dd dislikes riding in her carseat in a taxi, and cried horribly when we put her in. I slid in next to her, said a few things that didn't help, stroked her face, and finally said, "we're going to the airport, we're going to get on a plane and go home."
"Home!" she said, and signed for airplane. She did not cry at all after that. We talked about what we would do at home. Lunch, nurse, nap...she was happy for the rest of the trip.
I think my perseverence with taking the time to talk over most every cry (fortunately Dd doesn't cry very often or it might not have been possible), has paid off in that now she responds really well to verbal explanations. She knows when she is crying that we can talk things out, and she isn't looking for me to wave around a stuffed animal (that I would have left home in the first place).
