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why is he always so LOUD?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Ds, 3.5, is always loud. Talks loud, plays loud. Whenever hew wants to tell me something, he is yelling. Playing with his toys, he is screeching. Now, I have to say that my hearing is very good and I probably don't tolerate it as a regular person would, it probably sounds louder to me than it actually is.

I try not to yell much, but I do raise my voice if he isn't listening to me, and I explain it like this:"Mommy doesn't like to yell, but if you don't answer me, I have to talk louder so you can hear me."

When he is speaking to me, I am usually hanging on everyword, as he is fascinating. When he is loud I say "honey, I am listening to you, do you feel like I am not do you feel like you have to yell so I will listen?" He usually says no, but I don't know why he does this.

BTW- dh grew up in a family w 8 kids, they are all very loud, but I always thought they had to be to be heard. Is it possible that it's inherited?

thanks jtsmom
post #2 of 9
I would consider getting his hearing tested. Maybe he can't hear himself well unless he talks loudly. That said, I also think children that age just enjoy being loud. I am constantly asking both my children to lower their volumes.I've heard they get quieter around 5 years. I'm holding out hope.

- Chelsea
post #3 of 9
This could be way off base but I'm just throwing it out there...
Has he had many ear infections? This dulls their hearing, making them speak much louder than they need to.
That said, my sister is incredibly loud even at 40 and she's never had an ear infection LOL!!! My dd, Grace who is just 11 months, is starting to take after her dear Aunty in the LOUD department.

post #4 of 9
Thread Starter 
you know, its a good thing i posted this here, i never would have thought to check his hearing. ill call on monday. thanx

post #5 of 9
My middle son, now 7.5, has always been loud. His hearing is excellent. When he was 5 he kept loosing his voice for a few weeks at a time. We took him to an ear/nose/throat specialist who put a mini camera down his throat and found that his constant loudness had actually callused his vocal cords. When he'd lose his voice for a few weeks, it would get a chance to heal but then he would get back to "normal" (for him) and damage the cords all over again. The doctor said this is really common in singers and can be repaired with surgery or by retraining. We chose retraining. My son had to learn to speak more quietly. It was a long process but he hasn't reinjured his cords in quite a while. His "personality" is just a loud one...he still struggles to keep his volume level down and the doctor says he will most likely always have to remind himself to protect his vocal cords.
post #6 of 9
WOW, 3boysmom - that's somethig I've never heard of. I like how you remind him that he has to 'protect his vocal cords. It's an honest and simple way of helping him.

My husband always laughs when my sister and brother are over. The three of us together are just LOUD. Don't know why, but I remember my mother used to always say "volume" to my brother because he was increadabley loud.

DS is loud too, I have a hand gesture I use to remind him to bring his voice down some and that works well. He did have horrible ear infections untill he was 1, but his hearing has always been great. So I think some people are just naturally louder than others.
post #7 of 9
When I worked in a preschool a few years back, we had a delightful boy who was also loud. He was so wonderful and always had something really good to add to discussions, but was sooooo loud. We started playing a loud/soft game with him. We started with tapping fingers or toes and worked our way up--usually taking his cues as to what interested him, and then worked on voice after he got the hang of the game (he was 3). We would tap hard or soft and ask, "was that loud or quiet?" He grew to love the game and would play it all the time. But it worked. I think part of playing it all the time was that it really was something he "needed (from brain dev. standpoint) to work on. His parents even mentioned that he was quieter at home. Good Luck!
post #8 of 9


Have you tried not responding the first couple of times he yells and then saying in a calm soft voice "I'm sorry, that was so loud I couldn't hear you"?
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
ooo that's a good one, I'll try that.

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