I have a son who likes to do homework, and another son is just beginning to even get homework. So I don't have much experience with resistance. Once in a while if they are tired or something, I guess.
My philosphy about homework is that it is their responsibility to get it done. Not mine.
My role is to provide:
- an orderly, non-distracting homework space
- adequate time in the schedule
- company and support
- help them with organization and remembering stuff
By company and support, I mean that I am around while they do it. I'm cooking dinner, or folding laundry, paying bills, or working on my own homework. I'm not learning over their shoulder micromanaging. If they ask for help, then I help. If they turn it into a fight, I stop helping and state clearly that, "I will be available help when they are ready to work."
I usually ask what their assignments are, and I check to see that they have remembered all of them. I don't check over the actual work, unless they ask me to.
The few times they have decided not to do their homework, I have calmly stated that I'm not going to make them do it, but they need to let their teacher know the problem, and accept whatever consequences might occur at school.
The ONE time that my son decided to go to school empty handed, he explained calmly to his teacher that the homework was not helping him to learn anything, so he wasn't going to do it. The teacher traded his homework for a page from a higher grade level. Surprisingly, both of them were satisfied with this solution.
Honestly though, few kids want to face their teacher empty handed when they are supposed to be turning in homework.
Only based on your very short post, I wonder if you are letting it be *your* responsiblity to see that the work gets done? And I wonder if your son is depending on you to push him? If you stop pushing, and let him decide whether to do it or not, is there any chance that he will become more self-motivated in time?
