Would you NIP at a wedding? - Page 2

[skueppers]

When my daughter was six or seven months old, I was a bridesmaid at a wedding; while I nursed her many times that day, I went to a private room or powder room to do it. Among other things, there was really no discreet way to nurse in the bridesmaids' dress (though at least it buttoned up the front, which limited the amount of disrobing needed), but I'm not sure I would have nursed her in public even had I been wearing something more nursing-friendly.

I also left the church to nurse her when we went to a funeral when she was five months old, though I did nurse at the table during the wake.

[Birth Junky]

I did it in September at a family wedding. I actually bought a nursing dress for the occasion, because I found a cute one and figured it would be nice to have a dressier option that I could nurse in. DD is our first, but since we plan on having a few more and doing CLW with all of them, I've got at least a decade of NIP ahead of me!

I second what other people have said, that a contented baby is much nicer to have at a wedding than a screaming, angry/hungry baby.

Go for it!

[alegna]

Of course I would.

-Angela

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by PGNPORTLAND

I would nurse her in the rain, I would nurse her on a train, I would nurse her on a float, I would nurse her on a boat . . . .

nurse her, nurse her Sam - I - Am

HA HA...I totally was thinking the same thing...even before I read this thread.

FUNNY!

Yes, I would nurse my baby anywhere.....

I would nurse her on a plane, I would nurse her on a train, I would nurse her in a box and I would nurse her wearing socks.



Mary

[schmaela]

Breastfeeding is not inappropriate! There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding!

I attended a wedding this summer, very fancy, full of mainstream folks. I breastfed several times that night and nobody gave me a second glance. I bought a wrap dress for easy access and fed her whenever she wanted- just like I always do.

[UUMom]

The question is more like "How many times have I NIP at a wedding"? lol The other question might be, 'How many times have you nursed a flower girl at a wedding?"

[WNB]

Originally Posted by momtosimon

We are going to a wedding tomorrow night for a friend of DH's. I have never met this friend nor any one else there. I need to dress up (obviously) and dont think I want to be pulling out the boobs in the middle of the ceremony. I am planning to take a bottle of EBM to give ds. I just wondered if anyone here had bf at a wedding or how you think you would handle that.... I kind of feel like I am wussing out!

Your primary responsibility is to make sure your son is happy and well fed. Secondarily, you should be considerate of your hosts and other guests - wailing infants make everyone uncomfortable. I don't think it's particularly important to be "considerate" of other peoples' sexual hangups about women's breasts, however.
Thirdly, you might consider your role in shaping other peoples' attitudes about feeding babies by demonstrating the normalcy and ease of breastfeeding.

[mamato2boys]

I have and would again if needed. There is nowhere that I wouldn't BF if my child needed breastmilk.

[Hayes]

yep! When Lydia was 3 weeks old, one of my good friends from high school got married. I nursed her in the church, ont he pew. My 2 girlsfriends were impressed!

My middle sister is getting married this summer. SInce I am a bridesmaid, I will not be nursin DURING the wedding, but with a 6 month old, I am sure I will be nursing at some point.

[mom2snugbugs]

have and would again

[summerbabe]

Originally Posted by WNB

Your primary responsibility is to make sure your son is happy and well fed. Secondarily, you should be considerate of your hosts and other guests - wailing infants make everyone uncomfortable. I don't think it's particularly important to be "considerate" of other peoples' sexual hangups about women's breasts, however.
Thirdly, you might consider your role in shaping other peoples' attitudes about feeding babies by demonstrating the normalcy and ease of breastfeeding.

I disagree. I think that in rare instances, it is important to be "considerate of other people's sexual hangups about women's breasts." If you can avoid creating tension at an event like this by using a cover or finding a private place (thereby making sure your child is happy and well fed), then I think it is a reasonable compromise to make. Someone's wedding is not the time to prove a point or change the world if it will cause unpleasantness, and there is an alternative that will not cause the mother or baby any hardship.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by ckw

I disagree. I think that in rare instances, it is important to be "considerate of other people's sexual hangups about women's breasts." If you can avoid creating tension at an event like this by using a cover or finding a private place (thereby making sure your child is happy and well fed), then I think it is a reasonable compromise to make. Someone's wedding is not the time to prove a point or change the world if it will cause unpleasantness, and there is an alternative that will not cause the mother or baby any hardship.

It annoys me and ruins my pleasure at the joy of a wedding when there are foolish drunk people running around, especially when they make sexual innuendos about me or they hit on or proposition my DH in front of me. Now THAT is inconsiderate and causes unpleasantness. Breastfeeding is not inappropriate and if someone is going to be offended by a child being nourished the way they were meant to be, then don't worry, they will find a dozen other things to be offended about. Can't they just avert their eyes or go sit at another table, if it bothers them? Or they can go hang out in the bathroom while we nurse.

[MCsMom]

Yes, I have sat in two weddings and bf my dd. I would MUCH rather do that then consider letting my baby cry during the ceremony. In fact, I put her on simply as a pre-emptive thing just because I wanted to make sure she was quite at one point. I can assure you, it would have caused more hardship to try and find a 'private' place to nurse then just sitting in the pews.

[momuveight2B]

I haven't nursed at a wedding but I did at a christening and so did the mama and we were all seated up front in the family section. I did not use any kind of cover up.

I would nurse at a wedding because I would be more comfortable and so would my baby. Otherwise I would get all engorged and that would be a whole new problem. I would be discreet and as other posters mentioned bring a shawl or a sling in case you feel that you need it. The shawl could just be part of your outfit and arranged as needed. It can also double as a blanket for your baby if the room is cold or you need a changing pad.

[soliloquy72]

Yes, I have and I would again.

I wore a skirt and a nursing top, but my DD was a babe and I was new to nursing. If I went to one now, I would wear a nice top that was easy to pull aside--I don't have patience with nursing tops anymore!! Cardigans are nice as they cover your sides/abdomen a bit while you're nursing.

I've nursed in church a lot!! When I went to the reception, I did step into the vestibule to latch her on as it took a bit of coaxing, but if I was nursing an older babe who latched on easily, I'd just keep talking and nurse w/o skipping a beat. People really don't notice as much as you think they will.

As for other people's hang-ups with breasts--well, my breasts aren't exposed when I NIP. If I had a newborn that really needed a LOT of help latching on, then I might go into another room for everyone's comfort. But, if I had a newborn, I'd probably be staying at home, anyway!

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by ckw

I disagree. I think that in rare instances, it is important to be "considerate of other people's sexual hangups about women's breasts." If you can avoid creating tension at an event like this by using a cover or finding a private place (thereby making sure your child is happy and well fed), then I think it is a reasonable compromise to make. Someone's wedding is not the time to prove a point or change the world if it will cause unpleasantness, and there is an alternative that will not cause the mother or baby any hardship.

I respectfully disagree...as long as nursing moms feel like they have to "hide"..we will never move forward and increase our breastfeeding rates. Countries....with high BF rates...are very open about nursing their wee ones.

The more that our daughters and sons see nursing as normal..the more apt they too will feed their children human milk.

Mary

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

It annoys me and ruins my pleasure at the joy of a wedding when there are foolish drunk people running around, especially when they make sexual innuendos about me or they hit on or proposition my DH in front of me. Now THAT is inconsiderate and causes unpleasantness. Breastfeeding is not inappropriate and if someone is going to be offended by a child being nourished the way they were meant to be, then don't worry, they will find a dozen other things to be offended about. Can't they just avert their eyes or go sit at another table, if it bothers them? Or they can go hang out in the bathroom while we nurse.

:

Mary

[trmpetplaya]

I have before and I would again. If others were offended then they should have stopped paying attention to me and started paying attention to the wedding (which is what I was paying attention to). I've also nursed dd at a funeral, a wake, and a memorial service as well

I have found that a nice skirt and nice sweater or blouse work quite well for functions such as weddings and for church on Sunday (yep, I nurse during the service in the sanctuary too!). I just don't have the patience for nursing in dresses whether they button down or are specifically for nursing...

love and peace.

[mothragirl]

i did last month, i was a bridesmaid and i had to pop out of the top of my dress to nurse. not many people there had seen a nursing toddler, but they were all supportive and a lot of the childless women there spent time talking to me about breastfeeding . i will be again next saturday.
OP, can you get a dressy sling? it is pretty easy to nurse a 2 month old in a sling without anyone knowing what you're doing.

[summerbabe]

Originally Posted by doula mary

I respectfully disagree...as long as nursing moms feel like they have to "hide"..we will never move forward and increase our breastfeeding rates. Countries....with high BF rates...are very open about nursing their wee ones.

The more that our daughters and sons see nursing as normal..the more apt they too will feed their children human milk.

Mary

I agree with this absolutely....and feel that in the vast majority of times and places, we don't need to give it a second thought. All I'm saying is that I don't feel it is too much of a compromise to use a cover to avoid causing tension if the crowd there consists of many unenlightened people who might have an issue with NIP. Let me be clear that I am not suggesting this be done in consideration of those people, but for the COUPLE who is having their wedding day in this culture the way it is TODAY. There are a million other opportunites to work toward changing that culture.

The other poster's point that finding a private place may not be so easy is well taken. So I'll go back to my original point and suggest only that it may be a time to use a cover when one might ordinarily not use one.