Would you NIP at a wedding? - Page 5

[pazerific]

amen doula mary!!!

i nursed at my cousin's wedding about 3 months ago, and everyone was so busy celebrating, no one even realized what i was doing (not that i cared anyways). i just made sure i had a wrap dress that allowed easy access.

my thoughts on the whole thing would be (as i'm sure PPs have said) if the child is invited, then there is no need to ask permission to feed them. most people would prefer a quiet, happy, nursing baby over a fussy, grumpy, hungry one any day! i've gotten PLENTY of strange looks, and even a few behind-my-back-but-loud-enough-for-me-to-hear rude comments, and it only makes me more determined to keep on NIP.

ALSO, as an aside, dd has been on strike for 2 months, and before that i wondered if i would have the courage to NIP once she started walking and talking and is "too big" by public standard. now that we're in this situation, i'm determined to NIP WHENEVER SHE WANTS no matter how old she is (if she ever goes back to the breast)!!! you never know how good you've got it until it's gone!

[doula mary]

I love this article!

http://www.het.brown.edu/people/kjp/...r_language.htm

Mary

[djinneyah]

wow, mary!

i may have to come down to lincoln to meet you now! we've had our differences regarding other topics, but everything you've said here about bf'ing and NIP echoes how i feel

[Viriditas]

If a couple invites someone to their wedding who they know will bring a baby, why wouldn't they expect nursing to be going on? I think it's pretty much a given.

[Meiri]

I think that in rare instances, it is important to be "considerate of other people's sexual hangups about women's breasts." If you can avoid creating tension at an event like this by using a cover or finding a private place (thereby making sure your child is happy and well fed), then I think it is a reasonable compromise to make. Someone's wedding is not the time to prove a point or change the world if it will cause unpleasantness, and there is an alternative that will not cause the mother or baby any hardship.

Feeding one's child is not proving a point. It may well be what "keeps the peace" in terms of helping maintain quiet for the ceremony though.

As for the first part, it's not my/our job to cater to others' mental/psychological problems. They can go get counselling. Their hang-ups do not dictate babies' needs being met.

If the mother and baby are both invited, then the couple would have to be pretty stupid to think that breastfeeding wouldn't be happening.

To answer the OP, did so twice. When DS was 3, I was one of the "bridesmaids" for one of my sisters. Because of the dress choice: A had managed to find a style to accomodate a wide range of sizes, including another sister who was very pregnant, I ended up having to nurse him in our dressing room by hiking the whole blasted dress up. But he wasn't a baby, so it wasn't like he needed to nurse on that regular a basis.

When DD was just 3, I think that was her age..., I sat in the front pew with Mom and Dad, as flower girl wrangler. I nursed her during the cermony while she was sitting with us and had gotten too restless or whatever. Minister looked me in the eye and kept right on going. I was nodding at what he was saying.

Interestingly enough, as an aside, all of us sisters and SILs had chosen, in our own styles, pretty much the same color of off white/ecru dresses.

[star2589]

Originally Posted by doula mary

But a nursing relationship is the most important...

I agree. I'm not suggesting that the child should go hungry! all I'm saying is that if she is worried about a conflict, its better to talk about it before the wedding than after.

[BrooklynDoula]

I would and I have! Several weddings in fact. Ds was at his first wedding at age 10 days and about 7 weddings before he was 1!

[Paddington]

I am with you doula mary on most everything except that part about it being easy to cover an infant. my infants kicked and get hot very easily!! and, since i was so busy trying to look to make sure that latch was correct, couldn't do that with the blanket unless my head was under it as well. and that might have been more obvious and drawn more attention.... :

[CrunchyCate]

I would and I have. I've also had mommies nursing at my weddings to both husband 1 and husband 2, and it never even crossed my mind to be bothered (of course by wedding #2, I had nursed 3 of my own.)

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by Paddington

I am with you doula mary on most everything except that part about it being easy to cover an infant. my infants kicked and get hot very easily!! and, since i was so busy trying to look to make sure that latch was correct, couldn't do that with the blanket unless my head was under it as well. and that might have been more obvious and drawn more attention.... :

I thought I said, infants DONT like being covered....I always think..coveing your baby while BF is ike a BIG FLAG saying "I'm nursing!"....stare at me!!

Mary

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by star2589

I agree. I'm not suggesting that the child should go hungry! all I'm saying is that if she is worried about a conflict, its better to talk about it before the wedding than after.

Really, with this additude, you will be always asking ANYONE, if it is OK to feed your baby. A wedding is really no different than any other "event".

I'm approaching nusing almost 11 years straight, I simply nurse when needed.

mary

[doula mary]

Originally Posted by djinneyah

wow, mary!

i may have to come down to lincoln to meet you now! we've had our differences regarding other topics, but everything you've said here about bf'ing and NIP echoes how i feel

Thank you...I'm not sure what differences you are referring too...but I'm glad your enjoying my posts!!! Thanks so much for your kind words!!

Feel free to come visit Lincoln..anytime...we are in the middle of the county.

Best regards,
Mary

[mama in the forest]

You bet I would! Why wouldn't I????!

[snowbird25ca]

I haven't read the other replies and I know the wedding has already passed, but I would and have nip at a wedding. And dd was 14 months at the time too, so past the age a lot of people think you should wean.

Nobody said a thing.

[djinneyah]

Originally Posted by doula mary

Thank you...I'm not sure what differences you are referring too...but I'm glad your enjoying my posts!!! Thanks so much for your kind words!!

Feel free to come visit Lincoln..anytime...we are in the middle of the county.

Best regards,
Mary

i'm in omaha

we had a run-in a few months ago re: UC.

all that aside, i am enjoying your posts in this thread! i find myself nodding right along and saying "yes, exactly!"

[marlee]

Of course.

We were just at a surprise 60 th birthday party. I bf my almost 19 month old at the dinner table. I ignore people when I NIP so they can look and learn without feeling uncomfortable

[intorainbowz]

Yes and have.....

I also would feel NO need to ask ANYONE for permission to feed my baby. I don't think that breast feeding is anything to be ashamed of, hidden, or embarassed about.

I'm not breast feeding to make a political statement, although sometimes I feel like I am. I breast feed because it is the absolute best thing I can do for her nutrition. I could list all the great things about breast feeding, but people on here know these.

By my choice, I dress in separates which facilitate modest nursing, but sometimes some breast flashes. OOPS. Oh well.

Basically I nurse DD wherever we happen to be. I have sought out less than open places to nurse. For example, at a church talent show, I sat in the back of the room, by choice. DD can be highly distractable, plus I don't like nursing right next to someone I don't know. However, other parents thought that was the "take your noisy babies to sway" area and quite a crowd developed.


I've also nursed at a funeral and viewing. I chose to leave the viewing because an auntie was being a , and I wanted to remove her from the situation. Had the family chaos not been going on I would have nursed her right there. At the funeral, my MIL wanted to hold DD. I pointed out that DD wanted to nurse and I was sitting toward the back of the family, where all the other people with young children were sitting. Again, by my personal preference, I'd rather not nurse next to a stranger, but will if I have to, ie at an NBA game. MIL was like "is that respectful" because we are LDS and this is a catholic funeral. I said that if I will breast feed in my own church I sure am breast feeding in a catholic church because I'm doing my best to care for my baby, which is what God wants anyway. I also said, with a smirk, It's not the first time He has seen them, Jesus was breast feed.

I've also nursed at the table at a catholic ladies lunch, with the monsignor a chair away. At the end of the meal he told me what a miracle my baby was (we had talked about her preemie start) and how he wished more women in their area would nurse. We talked about ways to increase this. This was with a priest at least 70.

[musemor]

I nursed at a wedding when J was 7 months. There were two other NIP mamas there so I was in good company! There was also a room that was set aside for the moms to nurse/change the babies and for them to nap, if necessary. At one point I did move while I was nursing because the photographer was taking a bunch of pictures in the area and I didn't want my boob to be a centerpiece in the wedding album. It wouldn't have been an issue except that the flash was distracting J and she kept popping off so I was fully exposed.

I used the wedding as an excuse to get a nice nursing dress from Japanese Weekend!

[Nature]

Absolutly! I nursed dd at my OWN wedding in fact! DURING the ceremony! LOL I've nursed everywhere I can think of and weddings are no different. My child is far more important than anyone elses "discomfort." The sooner its normalized in this country the better! And that won't happen if we "hide" in fear of making others uncomfortable.