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You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When...

post #1 of 940
Thread Starter 
...you have to pick the breakfast cereal out of the bottom of the shower before you get in. :

This actually happened to me this morning.

I don't know how many other toddler parents have these kinds of issues with their toddlers, and so I thought it would be fun to compare stories.

So... finish the sentence "You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When..."

(RECAPS: Posts #489, #506)
post #2 of 940
All the lower shelves of your bookshelves are removed and your coffee table is in the garage!!
post #3 of 940
...all the breakable Christmas tree ornaments are towards the top of the tree, leaving the bottom mostly bare!
post #4 of 940
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by mom2005 View Post
...all the breakable Christmas tree ornaments are towards the top of the tree, leaving the bottom mostly bare!
Amen to that one. We put the tree up this last Sunday. It was up less than 25 minutes before it suddenly came CRASHING down, the top third hitting the coffee table and breaking the glass ornament my mother made for DS as a Christmas present the year he was born. *sigh*
post #5 of 940
== you keep your Christmas tree in a playpen;

-- there are no lamps anywhere in your home;

-- you wake up happy every morning seeing those sweet little faces.
post #6 of 940
I love these!!!

... you have to search through bags and boxes in your dcs room for spoons or forks b/c they all mysteriously disapeared!
post #7 of 940
You keep smelling a mysterious urine smell in your DC's room, but can't find the source.

I have eventually found it in a Halloween bucket, cups, bowls, travel jewelry containers. Good thing she got over this when she potty trained! :
post #8 of 940
...you go to put clothes in the hamper and find it full of Christmas ornaments.

...you find a can of tuna shoved in your shoe.

...you have to search your whole house for pots and kitchen utensils.
post #9 of 940
You don't even bother putting up a Christmas tree!
post #10 of 940
...Kenny Loggins "Return to Pooh Corner" has replaced Barry White as mood music.

...it takes less than ten minutes for a day-long housecleaning to become completely unravelled.

...all your cabinets have locks, it takes you 15 seconds to unlock your toilet, and side-by-side doors are held closed with rubber bands.

...you hear yourself saying "how did you find that/get that open/take that off/get up there/even know how to get to that" on a regular basis.

...the pets have unexplained bald spots.
post #11 of 940
Thread Starter 
...That's Not My Puppy... becomes deeply philosophical after its 350th reading.
post #12 of 940
When asked what your favorite song is, all you can think of is Wheels on the Bus or Itsy Bitsy Spider!

You have forgotten what it's like to go to the bathroom by yourself.

Having another person's snot all over you doesn't even phase you anymore!

For breakfast, you had a Nana, and dinner is going to be s'ghetti, which you will cut up everyone's into little tiny pieces, until your dh tells you to stop b/c he's a big boy and can eat it whole!
post #13 of 940

These are great, and so true.
post #14 of 940
....you find dinky cars in your purse, pocket, knapsack, shoes......
post #15 of 940
.... every time you sit on the toilet you repeatedly say "Yes hunny mommy is going yucky--- do you want to try on your potty? ..... please? pretty please? I'll give you some popcorn if you try..."

... you manage to read an entire children's book with your eyes shut. And turn the pages appropriately.

... you read Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You? and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with SUCH enthusuasim your parter is laughing so hard he almost pisses himself and your daughter is screeching at the top of her lungs in amusment.
post #16 of 940
You read your toddler a story while successfully reading a thread on MDC :
post #17 of 940
...you are rummaging around in a cabinet for the pot or pan you are in need of, and you come across a day (or two) old half eaten pear your kido has stored in a pot, inside the cabinet...like a treasure.

...you have Thanksgiving dinner at a friends house, and even though you could have sworn that your child did not get up from the table with food in hand, your friend (whose house is usually spotless) finds green beans stored in the knooks and crannies of the kitchen for at least a week (and her kids are too old to have done it).

...you start worrying when you hear mysterious, hysterical laughter coming from the other room (especially when you think there might be pets in there).

...you have to put a coffee table in front of the front door, lest your child-- who now can reach and unlock the deadbolt-- open it and run out (or let the dog out) the minute you have your back turned or need to go to use the toilet.

...your computer screen is covered in fingerprints.

...sweeping one room takes twenty or thirty minutes because you are getting so much "help."

...you have coathooks by your front door, about three feet off the ground.

...you didn't know you had a yardstick, but one day, you find one laying around in the living room (apparently, it was leaning against the wall in the front hall closet and you just never noticed).

...you feel like every day is oppossite day ("I wonder how come my mom can't *make* me do that thing she wants me to do. I better try to do the oppossite of what she asks me to do and see what she does...I wonder if that works with everything. I better try this out in all types of situations... Her reaction to this experiment is interesting. I better try it out more and see if it is always the same...Hey, this is fun!")

...you are *royalty*...even your toileting habits do not happen without great fanfare! After you finish using the toilet, your child hears you get up and runs in the bathroom and starts waving "bye bye" to all that is getting flushed down. (No, I did not teach him to do that).

...you have to wash some dishes twice, if your child gets to the dishwasher to empty it before you do. Dishes, dishes everywhere...especially on the floor.

...you find apple cores, magnets, forks, and pacifiers, among other treasures in the microwave (I say this with a slight tone of shame...we were microwave-free until we had kids eleven months apart and we started eating frozen stuff a bit more often). You keep your microwave unplugged except when you have to use it, for fear something metal might otherwise get zapped.

...the sweet sound of pitter-patter feet brings a smile to your face each morning you are up before the kids, or after naps.

...you have decided fingerprints on the windows really should be a trendy look one of these days.

...your child knows how to crack and egg (and really, really, really wants to do it every time you get eggs out) but also squeezes it rather than releasing it once it is cracked, so you have become accostumed to scooping dozens of tiny shell pieces out of eggs before cooking them. You also sometimes just let some of the shells stay in there, and have learned to eat with more caution.

...you bring an egg slicer (meant for hardboiled egg) to a restaurant with you because trying to slice soft foods in the slicer will keep your kido busy for at least ten minutes...which means ten minutes more when you can actually eat.

Oh, I could go on and on...
post #18 of 940
You find yourself saying crazy things like "Cats are not for eating"
post #19 of 940
When you say things like
"the cat goes not want to be laid on, nor sat on, nor dragged by the tail...etc."
"that is mommys please stop poking me there and no its not yucky"

When you can catch vomit in one hand and continue to eat

check the toliet to make sure there isnt something extra in it that shouldnt be flushed
post #20 of 940
Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy View Post
...That's Not My Puppy... becomes deeply philosophical after its 350th reading.

...your child comes walking in the kitchen saying, "Here mama! Here mama!" And he hands you a piece of poop.

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