...you are rummaging around in a cabinet for the pot or pan you are in need of, and you come across a day (or two) old half eaten pear your kido has stored in a pot, inside the cabinet...like a treasure.
...you have Thanksgiving dinner at a friends house, and even though you could have sworn that your child did not get up from the table with food in hand, your friend (whose house is usually spotless) finds green beans stored in the knooks and crannies of the kitchen for at least a week (and her kids are too old to have done it).
...you start worrying when you hear mysterious, hysterical laughter coming from the other room (especially when you think there might be pets in there).
...you have to put a coffee table in front of the front door, lest your child-- who now can reach and unlock the deadbolt-- open it and run out (or let the dog out) the minute you have your back turned or need to go to use the toilet.
...your computer screen is covered in fingerprints.
...sweeping one room takes twenty or thirty minutes because you are getting so much "help."
...you have coathooks by your front door, about three feet off the ground.
...you didn't know you had a yardstick, but one day, you find one laying around in the living room (apparently, it was leaning against the wall in the front hall closet and you just never noticed).
...you feel like every day is oppossite day ("I wonder how come my mom can't *make* me do that thing she wants me to do. I better try to do the oppossite of what she asks me to do and see what she does...I wonder if that works with everything. I better try this out in all types of situations... Her reaction to this experiment is interesting. I better try it out more and see if it is always the same...Hey, this is fun!")
...you are *royalty*...even your toileting habits do not happen without great fanfare! After you finish using the toilet, your child hears you get up and runs in the bathroom and starts waving "bye bye" to all that is getting flushed down. (No, I did not teach him to do that).
...you have to wash some dishes twice, if your child gets to the dishwasher to empty it before you do. Dishes, dishes everywhere...especially on the floor.
...you find apple cores, magnets, forks, and pacifiers, among other treasures in the microwave (I say this with a slight tone of shame...we were microwave-free until we had kids eleven months apart and we started eating frozen stuff a bit more often). You keep your microwave unplugged except when you have to use it, for fear something metal might otherwise get zapped.
...the sweet sound of pitter-patter feet brings a smile to your face each morning you are up before the kids, or after naps.
...you have decided fingerprints on the windows really should be a trendy look one of these days.
...your child knows how to crack and egg (and really, really, really wants to do it every time you get eggs out) but also squeezes it rather than releasing it once it is cracked, so you have become accostumed to scooping dozens of tiny shell pieces out of eggs before cooking them. You also sometimes just let some of the shells stay in there, and have learned to eat with more caution.
...you bring an egg slicer (meant for hardboiled egg) to a restaurant with you because trying to slice soft foods in the slicer will keep your kido busy for at least ten minutes...which means ten minutes more when you can actually eat.
Oh, I could go on and on...
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*sigh*
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